Timewaster's Guide Archive
Local Authors => Writing Group => Topic started by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 09, 2004, 08:01:35 PM
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This is where you can post comments or continue arguments from our last chat involving my novel.
My big concerns were re-naming the Dark Blade, and any general comments about the opening and closing scenes of the chapter.
kije brought up the idea the Mercurius was too obviously named and felt he got too much info about him just from that, though he didn't see the same thing I meant to communicate from it.
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I think you could change his last name, and keep his first name and that would make Kije feel better. But I could be wrong.
Have you had a chance to look at any Welsh words to replace "Dark Blade"?
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I haven't, but I'm probably going to make something up
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I agree. Dark Blade needs to be renamed. It stuck out like a sore thumb while I was reading along.
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In doing back-reading, I noticed this:
"Course he was all black. It was night in a snow storm. Ya couldn't see anything."
Night in a snowstorm--maybe it's my citified eyes, but snow tends to pick up whatever little amount of light there is. Snowstorms tend to dampen sound and have an eerie light to them. Just something to consider, probably not all that important.
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well, here's my thing about snowstorms
AFTER the storm the ambient light is reflected more
DURING the storm, youc an't see far at all to see that ambient light. So a person would just be a shadowy figure.