Timewaster's Guide Archive
Local Authors => Writing Group => Topic started by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on August 02, 2005, 10:42:11 PM
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I have a ~53k word YA fantasy manuscript (first draft) that I need comments on. NONE of you have read this one.
Volunteers? readers must be able to tell me the major flaws in the narrative. Also, they must be able to ignore names that come across as silly and give suggestions for better names, if it becomes necessary.
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I would read it for you if you like. I think I may have already PMed you my email, but if not, ask and thy shall receive.
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I'm willing to give it a read.
It may be a week or so until I can start it, but I should be able to read all of it. Unless, it is bad...then I might stop early and I will inform you as to all the problems in your manuscript.
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ok, I sent it to you two. No redistribution now.
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I'll read it, but it may take me a few weeks, if that's okay.
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well, the sooner the better. but since I'm not getting a lot of grabs, I'm going to have to wait till people can do it. I'll send it.
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SE, I'll read it. First, however, I have to read Fish and Fell's books. I'll let you know when I'm ready for yours.
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So how harsh do you want our comments to be?
I'm about a third of the way through it and I worry that my comments are rather callous.
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be callous callous callous. Just keep in mind that YOU, as a college educated adult male, are not a member of the target audience. This is obviously written for girls of the YA age.
This is an extremely early draft, and I think it's pretty solid, so I want to improve it.
I won't take comments personally.
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Ha! I wouldn't read it if you paid me!!!
Well, actually, I would. (Chimera needs money--donations accepted.)
I'll make an exception this time, e, because I like you. And I do have experience with YA. But I can't promise a quick read, since I have a lot going on. I sent Fell's, I need to do my final comments for stacer's, I need to finish MsFish's, read the new Alcatrez for EUOL, and keep writing my own YA fantasy novel. Not to mention moving and finding a job and then school.
But I would like to read it. Do you need it by a certain time?
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Sent you a PM with my email in it. I don't list my email because than I would be getting far too much fan mail, especially from Archon.
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Though you amuse me, you presume far too much, little narcissist.
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I can see your email anyway, since I'm an admin. I will send it to you in the morning.
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I feel exposed.
If I start getting spam, I know who to blame. ;)
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BWAHAHAHAHA!
btw, this means that a half-dozen other people can see your email too. JP, Tage, Fell, EUOL, and so forth.
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Yes. And some of us know how to reverse WHOIS an email to get details like home address, full name, social security number, credit rating, transaction history, criminal record.
Information WANTS to be free.
Of course, some of us prefer privacy, hence the Cypherpunks.
Support Cryptography!
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*nudge*
so... how the readings going on this?
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Do you want us to nitpick it (grammatical errors and such) or just give overall comments on the story? If you don't want me to do the details, I could get it done in a few days.
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Don't give me grammar. That's likely to all change in the re-write anyway.
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*poke* *poke*
How's this coming?
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I'm over half-way. I'm writing short chapter by chapter critiques so it's taking me a little longer. That and my sanctuary was destroyed by raging leviathans, so i'm not as productive right now.
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/me does some more poking.
I know 42's excuse, but I sent it to at least 3 other people. What about you guys?
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I'm going to be busy for a few more days. I have had about 850 pages of required reading to deal with for a while. Oh yeah, and assignments to match.
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oh, fine. I guess I can understand that. Just don't let it happen again.
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e, just letting you know that I never got your book. Try sending it again, and let me know when you did. Maybe the last one got sent to my spam folder by accident.
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I will resend now. Email in your account is good?
edit, just read, the one in a PM. I will send to that right now.
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Yup. I looked, and it was in my Spam folder. Apparently my email doesn't like you. But I have it now.
When I will get a chance to read it is an entirely different matter. But I have it.
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Your email wouldn't be the first unembodied concept to hate me. ... or my writing.
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e, I finished reading it and have sent you my criticisms.
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yay!
Let this be a lesson to you all.
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So do I get a prize?
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I have a post it note here that I've signed. Will that do?
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No...I will be sending you a bill for my services shortly.
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Don't forget the 1cp guano charge for the principle of the thing.
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oh, I can pay you lots of guano
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Eric, I am so sorry that I haven't gotten to your book. My life sort of exploded and then dissipated into a pile of ashes--for conformation you can ask Jeffe or EUOL, they could tell you stories.
Do you still need readings? I'm about halfway through Alcatraz, but when I'm done with it I'll still read yours, if you need me to.
Sorry. :-[
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I think I have a vague idea of how life can be.
But yeah, I could still use the reads if you get to it. Thanks!
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e, I finished Heir yesterday. I will be sending you comments in the near future--I just have to make some final notes and read over the areas that made me pause so I can give you a good critique. Hopefully you won't mind some copy-editing on the entire document--I can't resist. I don't look for mistakes, but if I find them I can't stop myself from correcting them. ::) (Just ask anyone in my writing group.)
There are some areas that need work, but overall I enjoyed it. It is totally the kind of thing I like to read. :)
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heh, that's fine. My sister did that too.
I have a couple specific questions that I'll probably ask you and 42 in email when I get back to editing it. I've been planning v.2 and I have some expansions, but as I started writing them, I wondered if it was hurting the pace.
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The pace is very good right now, especially for a YA novel. You'll have to see, though, if the re-writes you are doing deal with the things that caused me problems.
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What is the book about?
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It's about a princess who is married for political reasons to a man who should die in about a year.
romance and curse-breaking ensue.
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I finished it, too. But we will talk about it tomorrow. I do have comments, but will leave the copyediting to Chimera. (I wasn't tempted enough to do the work involved in editing--although I did enjoy it when Vij leaned on his email.)
So it's a YA novel, huh?
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well, for now it is. There have been suggestions at changing that.
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but will leave the copyediting to Chimera. (I wasn't tempted enough to do the work involved in editing--although I did enjoy it when Vij leaned on his email.)
Oh yeah. That had me lol. ;D
Sorry it's taking a little time, all sorts of distractions came up. But you will have my comments in the near future.
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I'd be able to read it for you. Though I'd understand if you've already got enough readers, or if you just wouldn't want me to read it since i'm basically just some extra person to you.
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Hang around Lightning, I just don't know you well enough yet.