The Dark Blade... frustrations. No Spoilers

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

ok, so.... I need to just finish this manuscript. The more I think about it the less I like it. Peks does so little to accomplish things on his own. I have a set of events that work, but everything Peks does comes to him. He's sent away, he's found, he's given a sword, he's forced into a battle, he runs, he's shown a solution. What kind of a protagonist is that? It's all about things that happen to him.

So, I've already decided I can't publish this manuscript. It needs version 4 or 5 before I can even show it around. ARGH!

So... I finish it up, right? Gott have the finished manuscript. But the rest'll be crap, I think, because I no longer believe in the current version of the project. So, afterward, do I re-write or do I start a new project?

[Archon]

SE, it doesnt seem to be a terminal problem. You say that everything comes to him, well look at Frodo from the Lord of the Rings. First he had Gandalf watching over him, then Aragorn found him, then when he got into trouble with the Nazgul he was helped out of that by Glorfindel, the list goes on and on. My point is that although the main character gets a lot of help, in the end he presents a strong main character, showing that you don't have to forego help and chance to be a strong hero. Make him save someone else from something, or just rise to a challenge alone etc. Basically, do something to show his strong character, and you could still have a workable protagonist.

[stacer]

Yes, you finish it. Then you set it aside and start a new project, and come back to it in a little while, or you start again at the beginning and rewrite. And then rewrite some more. I've heard it work both ways, depending on the person.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Archon, the comparison doesn't work. Because while Frodo is given the quest, he chooses to accept it. He fights the temptation the whole time. He makes the decisions on which path to take. He leaves the others behind.

Peks just kinda.... goes where the dog leads him once he isn't being dragged around by superiors.


This is the problem with taking so long to write it, I can dwell on the bad points before I've finished a draft to rewrite.

[stacer]

Whether you dwell on the bad points or not, finish it. Your vision of it will change from beginning to end, so it won't be a cohesive draft, but it will be *done*. And that will feel good. I feel the same way about my book, which I have a feeling won't be done anytime soon either--it's so messed up, and I'm figuring it out as I go. But I think I *am* figuring it out, and eventually in another future draft I'll be able to be satisfied enough with it to show someone. Maybe. For me it's also just an exercise in creativity--*can* I create this thing I've been wanting to for so long?

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

Well, November is 2 months away so hurry up. Even less so if you're counting.

[Mistress of Darkness]

SE, I think you're being too hard on yourself. I'm sure you'll be surprised how much can be changed with just a few tweaks.

And for now just finish and try to keep in mind that you would like Peks to be more active. The time was not wasted. Remember how many publishing authors admit that their first book was trash and know that you are in good company.

[EUOL]

So... I finish it up, right? Gott have the finished manuscript. But the rest'll be crap, I think, because I no longer believe in the current version of the project. So, afterward, do I re-write or do I start a new project?

Take Stacer's advice.  

Here's the thing, SE.  This is a common emotion for authors to feel--I've heard several of our ilk mention that they tend to think a manuscript is crap right around the midway point.  

The trick here is NOT to let yourself write it worse than it could be because you feel this way.  You have to learn to finish what you started, and finish it as WELL as you can.  You see the flaws now, yes--part of that is you growing as an author, but part of it is just a desire to move on to the next great thing.

Don't get caught in my same trap--Don't let yourself believe that your book is terrible just because you start seeing flaws.  Most importantly, don't let yourself give it all but your best.  

This one probably won't be publishable.  Ever.  That's just the way it is.  But, you have to look at what you're doing now as practice.  Write the best book you can at your current skill level--anything else will do your abilities a disservice.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

well, I think I already knew all that. The problem is motivation. If I know that there are these major revisions that need doing right now, I have a hard time puptting effort into it. SO... I need inspiration/motivation for proceeding.

[stacer]

You can do it!  

[EUOL]

You want motivation?  Well, trust me when I tell you that THIS is one of the major things that divides those who will make it in this field from those who will forever be amateurs.  

To quote an email from Tad Williams:

Remember that there will be days when even the greatest job feels like work, and the important thing is not to feel shocked when that happens.

The best way to get over feeling terrible about the flaws in your book, I've found, is to sit down and write the best chapter you've ever written.  Don't worry about the past chapters--just get this one DOWN.  Make your characters interact, foreshadow, get in some powerful description and some serious character development.  You'll feel a lot better about the book, since you know at least THAT chapter really shows off what you can do.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

argh. Ok, fine. I'll work hard on this difficult chapter. WHich is difficult even if I am happy. THough I should be grategul, since there's a line I wrote in this chapter that revealed to me the fundamental weakness of hte book. Peks states that he was taught that even when a man is put into a situation he didn't choose, how he responds to the situation IS his choice. SO uh... where is Peks really making choices? NOt really anywhere. And that has been my fundamental thesis of the book. Stupid kid. Grow up!

[Lieutenant Kije]

Just a sidenote -

The best way to get over feeling terrible about the flaws in your book, I've found, is to sit down and write the best chapter you've ever written...Make your characters interact, foreshadow, get in some powerful description and some serious character development.  

So, EUOL: is this your definition of a high quality chapter?

[EUOL]

This is what makes me feel good about a chapter.  When I get done with the writing, and I feel it's just...well, said a lot.  Had a very interesting scene or said something important about the characters.  If it's the perfect chapter for its placing in the book depends on the chapters around it--but when I get finished with something like this, I usually feel pretty good.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Well, I started writing it again. Scrapped pretty much all of what I had written of Chapter 16 and started from scratch. I reordered hwo I want to talk about things, but I keep thinking of new ways to jump from subject to subject... often before finishing what needs to be said. There's got to be a more elegant way to do what I'm doing. I need to control this dialogue, but I feel like I'm forcing it. *sigh*. I fear this will be a chapter I never like.