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Local Authors => Writing Group => Topic started by: Yourstranger13 on July 31, 2004, 02:33:33 AM

Title: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Yourstranger13 on July 31, 2004, 02:33:33 AM
Just submit poems you have read and like, or orginal stuff. I Just like poetry ingeneral. If you want an opinion or comments on what ou wrote, ask. Otherwise, dont mess around with what people wrote unless that what they put it up for. I'll start off with somethng I worte not too long ago:

Emptiness,
This void just a familiar caress,
Time passes, always a second guess,
Questioning why,
What is life being pulled by?
Constantly continuing, never going anywhere,
Nowhere is becoming much too hard to bear,
Is there any good reason to pretend to care?
Habit results in progression,
Life is a worthless competition,
And I cant see the finish line,
If only I could buy some time,
Break this rhythm and this rhyme,
Routine is slowly taking its toll,
Hold so few years, yet feel so old,
Old and worn,
Soul full of scorn,
For a world full of nothing but the same,
Mindless bodies fighting to win the game,
Cant even place, my motivation is lame,
Purpose and passion are what I lack,
Something, anything, to put me back on track,
Find myself and happiness,
Forget all this trouble and this mess,
So tired of feeling so much less.

* Fell free to comment, I dont mind
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on July 31, 2004, 02:39:51 PM
It is much more freevers, but I figure it lands in the "Such" category.  And don't say you're fine with people sharing their opinions on your first thread, trust me on this one.  ;).

Roads

A stranger once asked me why I held this rose to the West.  This rose, my only keepsake of a once flourishing love, which was once alive, just as this withering rose blossom was.  I told this young man the reason for my tribute, how the coal black rose was not what it seemed.  This rose was, and forever will be, my never-dying love for she who dismantled my heart.  I have hopes, mere dreams of which nothing could possibly assemble, that my love will be like the setting sun, gone for now, but certainly the sun will rise again at dawn.  The sun never fails to die, nor does it fail to rise once more.  I then told this young man that the road which Apollo himslef rides will never be paved, but the sun still rises after each set.  Should not Aphrodite's road be the same?
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: JP Dogberry on August 01, 2004, 06:33:48 AM
Urge...to...kill...Rising...
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on August 01, 2004, 02:02:54 PM
I think this technically goes in the Everything Else part, as writing group was created pretty much for fiction writers.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on August 01, 2004, 02:10:35 PM
/me jumps into Devil's Advocate costume.

Well Fuzzy, I'd say this is a perfect place for such a thread. Since It is the Writing Group place, and writers also write poetry.

Which makes me think now. Could we have a meeting of the poets once, or even every other week? I think it could be fun.

Display your enthusiasim here.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 01, 2004, 02:20:51 PM
    Yeah I think this is the perfect place for such a topic. I write some fantasy and short stories, but I find that it is much easier and relaxing to write poetry, so I write it when I am not in the mood to write for a very long time. This way I can see the results of my work much faster and it is more satisfying short term. I would like to know what it feels like to finish a full length story, but I haven't found my focus yet so I can't stay with it. Poetry comes as a welcome release.

    Gemm that could work, but until we get a couple more people interested it doesn't seem worth it.

    Hey JP that killing instinct is fun isn't it? Killing and violent poetry is accepted as well, I have a stockpile of it
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 01, 2004, 02:29:54 PM
Kids Under The Stairs

Keeping the people unawares
Hiding in the shadows
Pleasantly knowing that nobody cares
Who they are, nobody knows
Maybe thats what they wanted
If it is so then it really shows
They always seem to be haunted
By the thought of being discovered
In the shadows they remain undaunted
And while they themselves remain covered
Not trying to make a sound
Hiding away anywhere tucked into the cupboard
Dont try to look, they wont be found
Dont try to look, dont try to look
Dont try to look around
Stand above the crowd hustling like a crook
Stand on the pedestal yell and scream
Hope you like the path that you took
Hope you have fun, when you laugh and beam
Hope you are getting what you
Really wanted, that its not just a dream
Watch as you act, taking your cue
But you really must know
That I really do hate you
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 02, 2004, 06:10:36 PM
You Can't Burn Fire

Find the moon just as bright as before
but something is changing, down to the core
the stars are burning, but they seem so cold
and you are letting go of everything you want to hold
the fire returns, and then you realize
that it doesnt help going through all of the whys
because you can't burn fire, can't melt the sun
can't stop the rain, can't quit until you are done
the sky won't drop, the mountains will stand tall
the ocean will run deep, ground won't catch you if you fall
so the only way to win is to be the fire
stupidity fuels it, the rage rules it
hate what you will, don't hold back
if you see weakness then you attack
if you hurt just shrug it off, ignore it
change is the only enemy for it
stay how you like, like how you are
and never show anyone the scar
because you can't burn the fire
you won't build your own pyre
for someone else to set you aflame
that is for you and you alone
something for your very own
just don't let it turn
into something else
let it burn, let it burn
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 03, 2004, 11:42:27 PM
Hey Gemm post some of your poetry, maybe if we start posting regularly then it will generate interest.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on August 05, 2004, 12:00:03 AM
Wel, since I'd rather not re-post everything here, I'll just post a link to the thread.

Here (http://www.timewastersguide.com/boards/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=other;action=display;num=1087596264)

Enjoy. Also you can go to http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=FordPrefect to find any that may not have shown up here. Which I doubt.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 05, 2004, 06:27:32 PM
Where are you taking me?
Have I been there before, I cant see
Very rocky, I am tripping and stumbling
There seems to be a track where we are tumbling
Too bad nobody thought to pave around here
As it is most travel together, it comforts their fear
But I know that I can deal with the obstacles that come
You can see me do I look dumb?
No comfort in numbers, I trod alone
Listening to the wind in its gentle tone
The silence to me it doesnt press
It is softer like the winds caress
They say that everyone takes this trip sometime
They say that they remember, their understanding is prime
Nobody remembers this they have gone on to bigger things
They all loom above, sulking upon the thrones of kings
Cant look ahead nor gaze longingly back
Tirelessly must I tread this undistinguished track
Have to be productive, not living day to day
No I am not meant to live my own way
Every day brings renewed despair
This isnt fair, it isnt fair
I wake up in the morning and ask myself why do I walk this trail
Ive been looking for an answer, been chasing my tail
Hello? Hello? are you listening to me?
Wherever could he be, be calm, calm is the key
Lift off the blindfold and open your eyes
Oh wow will you look at the size
Of the nothingness that wraps all around
Just the black, and nothing to hear, there isnt a sound
It looks like all this was, was nothing
Nothing but a bumpy trail that I hope leads to something
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Maxwell on August 05, 2004, 06:42:33 PM
Heartstrings
I saw a hit-and-run, it pulled at my heartstrings.
I'm always made sad by these things,
Especially when the little dead boy,
Tries to open me up like a toy.
Into my chest he pried,
And pulled at the strings until I cried.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on August 12, 2004, 02:04:02 PM
man, there's one of these for everything. (http://www.qwantz.com/20040427.html)
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 17, 2004, 06:33:08 PM
I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen
of meadow-flowers and butterflies
in summers that have been

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair

I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall ever see

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen
in every wood, in every spring
there is a different green

I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know

but all the while I sit and think
of times there were before
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door

- The Fellowship of the Ring

Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Maxwell on August 17, 2004, 08:43:12 PM
monkey see monkey doo
monkey dont see monkey doo
monkey step in monkey doo.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on August 24, 2004, 09:57:55 PM
Zones

If I had any time
I'd waste it with you.
But there is none left
except what is left.
Going this way and that
or that way then this.
Where is it you're
going to and when?
Can I come with
or should I just forget?

Time is time, but
time is still time
no matter how
you look at it.
And then there is
time which is considered
time in east Instanbul (not Constantinople).
Why is time time overseas
but only rarely is time
ever time here.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Entsuropi on August 25, 2004, 12:23:07 PM
SILENCE YOU NON HUMANOID TEMPLATE ABBERANT!
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 27, 2004, 06:35:30 PM
Fleeing for what?
the fear you feel, left you in the dark
while you tremble all alone
and you are wishing to be back in that park
that you used to go to on your own

Or that you were in her arms again
everything right, feels good to hold her tight
those little things you think about, every now and then
all coming tumbling back, in the midst of the night

The secret forest, the open beaches
and the treehouse where you used to hide
every one of them beseeches
that you come back to their side

Running away, back to them, back to her
but only in your dream
too many obstacles they all deter
together as a team

Back is blocked, forward is your fear
but what do you flinch back from
maybe the time is now, place is here
perhaps the time has come

fear no more, let the chill slip away
and the shaking steady out
because that one thought makes it all ok
and you forget what it was all about

That one thought relieves fear, heals pain
halts the frantic retreat
and then the darkness starts to wane
the monster is replete

I see these people give up before starting
and now I ask them why do you run
the fight is over there and we arent departing
until the deed is done

Courage comes with many faces
each person sees one exclusive
they are found in many different places
sometimes found reclusive

But they can be found if they are sought
I know my face, and I will not run
I will fight for my face, for my thought
for the haunting moon, and the bright clear sun
So why do you run?
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: JP Dogberry on August 27, 2004, 08:27:32 PM
I can't hold it in any longer.

Bad Teen Gothic Poetry is not real Poetry. In fact, ANY teen poetry is not real poetry, any more than an untrained person blowing randomly into a saxaphone is a muscisian.

ah, that feels better.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 27, 2004, 11:27:02 PM
     First, I would never refer to myself as a goth, there are plenty of them at my school and I am in no way connected. I am not writing about how life sucks or how everything is empty and worthless, my last one was supposed to be hopeful and encouraging. Second, who is to say that being older makes you any better of a writer? Sure, experience does help you to improve, but just because you are older doesnt mean you have more experience writing. Even if you did, you had to acquire that experience somewhere, and the best way to improve is to show other people what you write. So are you setting an age restriction? Are you going to card me like I was walking into a bar?  Also, as you get older, most people become less creative, thereby their creative writing degenerates.  Third of all, you are no more qualified to judge what is and isnt poetry than anyone else. You can have your opinion, but don't be so arrogant as to consider that yours is the most valid. Even assuming that you were right to criticize our "writing", since it can't be considered poetry, having someone rip on your writing that bad sucks. Especially if you are sensitive about what you are writing about, which a lot of people are with poetry. Personally, I don't care about my stuff, you can have at it, but I think that that is very low to cut off the others like that. If you want to criticize, be a little more constructive about it.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on August 27, 2004, 11:42:09 PM
just to pick nits. showing writing does nothing. listening to the criticism of those you show it to and finding the critiques that are worthwhile, then APPLYING it, THAT improves your writing.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on August 27, 2004, 11:43:48 PM
Jam, I'm going to have to agree with Archon on this one, if you didn't like his, or Gemms, or YS's, or my poetry "and such", as in my case, you could have come out and said it in a civil way.  

You could have also given a valid reason for disliking it, because age discimination is as unacceptable as any other kind, and because not only is not everything in this thread gothic, but I wouldn't count ANYTHING in this thread gothic.  

And, of course, you could always give some constructive critisism, since you seems to be such a better writer than anyone who has thus far posted here, or if you weren't talking about everyone then specified which poems, and such, you were talking about, since nothing here fits the description of "Teenage Gothic Poetry"

Archon, you forgot a comma.  ;D.

Mod: And now seeing SE's post, yeah, you're right SE.  I think Archon meant something along the lines of "showing people your writing and getting a constructive response, which JP certainly didn't give.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 27, 2004, 11:58:22 PM
     Yes, that is more along the lines of what I was getting at. I was also though, just pointing out to JP that it was necessary to share what you write to improve. Otherwise we wouldn't have a reason to be showing everyone what we wrote and he would be more justified in saying that we can practice as long as we keep it to ourselves.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Maxwell on August 28, 2004, 12:15:43 AM
I look at the keyboard...
becuase otherwise I cant see what I'm typing.
it looks back.
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I'm poking out it's eyes...
hmm, volcanoe season.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on August 28, 2004, 12:21:18 AM
Well, at least JP wont be on everyone else's back anymore, how could he...
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on August 28, 2004, 11:32:49 AM
Well SE, no one ever gives me criticisim on my poetry. So I have no comments to further this "arguement."
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on August 28, 2004, 12:21:29 PM
Do you want to be criticized? If you ask for it I will look and see if I can find something to say about them, but you never asked.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Maxwell on August 30, 2004, 01:38:11 AM
well ya know, JP and entropy love to pick on me so  I thought I'd help
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: JP Dogberry on August 30, 2004, 02:33:56 AM
See, it's obvious you want us to pick on you. That's why we won't do it, since we that will annoy you more.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Maxwell on August 30, 2004, 02:45:48 AM
not necesarilly, I just know you do and that it would distract you from going crazy on an otherwise reasonable thread, and see you've stopped yelling at them and are now attempting to put me in my place, the system works... kinda...
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on September 08, 2004, 04:36:07 PM
Pure Restraints

There is nothing on the walls,
except the dreams
I cannot dream.
My myriad of mere illusions
persuades me into disillusion.

Theres nothing left on the wall.
No more patience grows
from my ostrication.
My mirror hangs on the wall
showing what eye(I) can see best.

Everything is on the wall,
the worlds history shattered
like a cube.
My disillusions disuade
me from my unintended illusions.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Eagle Prince on September 16, 2004, 08:16:46 PM
DEATH RIDES A HORSE

Death rides on a horse, with trumpets ablaze,
killing all who dare meet the chill of his gaze.
The thunder of hooves make the earth shake,
and the fires of Hell are stoked in his wake.

He kills all men with a stroke of his blade,
But along the highway he was parlayed.
The two fought until the coming of dawn,
but the man would not succumb to his brawn.

For that man shall never again bend knee
and shall never again hear the banshee.
Looking for his next bauble to thieve,
he wanders the world in endless reprieve.

And when you travel, it best be by day
and never travel the night by highway
For I am the Immortal One hidden from the dawn;
I am the Emperor-King after day has gone.

Remember that Death now holds a new name
and remember the poem that bards exclaim,
"Death rides on a horse, with trumpets ablaze,
killing all who dare meet the chill of his gaze.
The thunder of hooves make the earth shake,
and the fires of Hell are stoked in his wake."
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on September 17, 2004, 02:52:37 PM
Woot EP, wewt. I give that one a roaring round of applause. That was fantastic.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Eagle Prince on September 17, 2004, 04:07:58 PM
Thanks.  I was originally trying to do it as a sonnet, but it wasn't working for some reason.  So I just went to oldschool double couplets.  Honestly, I don't know too much about poetry, it takes me forever to write one.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on September 17, 2004, 11:22:34 PM
Wow, that was yours Eagle Prince? That was really good, I automatically assumed that it was one that you found in a fantasy book and really liked. Well done!
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Eagle Prince on September 18, 2004, 02:31:17 AM
Thanks.  I'd like to say something about the other poems, but I really just don't know enough about poetry to say more than simply what I liked or disliked.  A few of them I think have clever structure, and a lot of them are about things I'd never think of.  I tend to focus (probably too much) on things like heroes and monsters and "cool" factor, and so more introspective things aren't frequently on my mind (not just in writing poems and stories either).

As for it looking like it was a fantasy story, I'm glad since most of the poems I write are for my own fantasy world.  But as I'm not too practiced at the craft, not all of them turn out that good.  Actually, looking through some of them, here is a more light-heared one.  Its a child's poem that is about the one sure way to defeat a fairie.

Sing me a tune, oh faerie fair,
 for my worries are much to bear.
A chant to make the day seem brighter,
 and these burdens a little lighter.

Take my hand, oh faerie fair,
 and we'll dance with nay to care.
Atop the flowers shall we play,
 while we celebrate this cheery day.

Lead me away, oh faerie fair,
 let us retire to your lair.
There we'll play a riddle game
 of who can guess the other's name.


Anyway, I've liked this thread and wanted to participate for awhile.  I just kept forgetting or got too lazy to look though my text files for them.  I haven't wrote any for awhile, now you got me wanting to try making a few more.  Maybe I'll try one about something more personal, like my need to brood.  lol.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Archon on October 20, 2004, 10:27:38 PM
Wow, I havent checked this in a long time, so sorry for the extreme delay E.P.
Bare should be bear. Otherwise that one is really good too. I should try doing more fantasy type stuff like that, I used to, but all of them got deleted through the years.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Eagle Prince on October 21, 2004, 12:13:11 AM
Doh, you're right on the spelling.  I'll go edit that.

Heh, I tried doing a regular poem, but I can't make it work.  So I started one about a gunfighter instead, don't know how to finish it though.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: JP Dogberry on October 21, 2004, 12:40:35 AM
Gunfighter poems always end with the Gunfighter dead, and it's always the wronged lover who does it. But the audience always sympathises with her.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: stacer on October 21, 2004, 12:46:02 AM
EP, that last one sounds like a rhyme Curdie would have made up to get rid of the Goblins in The Princess and the Goblin. That's a detail I forgot to mention in my review. The goblins hate rhymes, so miners hone their skill at rhymes to keep the goblins at bay.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: Eagle Prince on October 21, 2004, 02:09:32 AM
Cool, cause that was sort of the idea of it, to make fairies go away.  Especially because of the name part, because fairies don't want anyone to know their name, but also can't resist riddle games, so if you say that then they get mad/scared and fly off.

Haven't read many poems about gunfighters, but I could see that.  Sort of like the Highwayman poem.  Well here is what I have done of mine, he doesn't die in the end.


An old gunfighter strode into town down a dusty trail
The clank of spurs announced him like a funeral death-knell
Two pistols hung at his belt and a cold look was in his eye
It was plain to see today some poor soul was gunna die

His face was gaunt, his eyes bloodshot, his grin just ghostly
Without words his pallor face said that this man was hungry
He wore long black hair like a shawl as if he mourned the dead
It was plain to see that blood as souls were his wine and bread

Down the street he shambled with the gait of a zombie
And shouted out the names of the men that he'd come to see
From the brothels and the taverns, a great many men did come
They thought their gang was strong enough to kill the phantom

The fight broke out, shots rung out, gunsmoke filled the air
When it cleared what still stood was a grinning nightmare
The gunfighter put up his guns, the gang all massacred
Gorged on the blood of thirty men, no longer he hungered

Still not sure how to end it, but I think these will be the last two lines.

Remember the hand of vengence can reach beyond the grave
And remember the story of the gunman with no name.

Oh yeah, thought I'd mention that I started writing this for a RPG character I'm playing.
Title: Re: Poetry and Such...
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on October 21, 2004, 09:30:20 AM
anything that can be done to keep the fairies away is a must.