I read the chapter once, to get a feel for it, and now I'm reading it a second time with a more critical mindset and writing out my thoughts as I do. Here they are.
Nice first sentence. Not much else to say, it grabs the reader, or at least it grabs me. It does seem a bit disconnected from the rest of the chapter, though.
When I first read the following paragraph, I somehow missed that she got off a train, and was surprised when trains were mentioned later. Anyways, it seems we have trains and guns, which means this world is a bit more advanced technology-wise than those in a lot of fantasy novels I have read. Makes me curious about the rest of the technology.
Medora thinks "she had to move forward, for she needed the political gain, too." But it's later shown that what she has on her mind is certainly not political gain. She expects to die.
I'm guessing Devos is God or something close to it. It's interesting how Medora knows God by name and has apparant proof of his existance, yet also seems to wonder exactly *what* he is. Perhaps I'm reading too much into the "God, whatever He was" part that happened near the start.
I like how Medora has seen into her past life and knows she deserves punishment. That's not something I've seen in a reincarnation related story before.
Does Sanctuary have some sort of artifical and/or magical sun that shines all the time? Reminds me of the anime Letter Bee.
Here we have her thinking about the possibility of becoming First Minister. Like with her thought about political gain, I have to wonder about this considering the actions she takes.
I like some of the interactions between Medora and Saril. Especially his comment about how disturbing it was to see her be optimstic. Though it is a bit unfair when he later criticises her for essentially being pessimistic about Thane's chances of retaining his position.
Another mention of lions. Lot's of questions now. Why are lions important? What the heck is that Demon Cloud, really? What is up with that sun? What exactly is Medora's position in the current political situation? What's a Cerebrant? How's Medora's drug addiction going to play out? Well, it's chapter 1, so questions are to be expected. You've made me curious to know the answers to those questions, so that's a good thing.
Nice job starting a riot there, Medora.
Ok Saril. I understand him not wanting to fire guns and cause another massacre, but once he's wading into the crowd gemsword in hand, he might as well. That gemsword seems in many ways more deadly than a gun.
I hesitate when I see the scene where Medora runs out of the restaurant to die. I imagine that she has a lot of character development ahead of her, but she's already made one impulsive decision and started a riot which has cost tons of lives. Now she makes another impulsive decision right afterwards and causes Saril to rush out to save her (killing the people around her). I know she's probably going to change, but be careful about making her too unlikable at the start. I'll reserve judgement until I see what happens in the following chapters.
Like the ending, has a nice ominious feel to it and makes me want to read me.
Overall, I like it. Gets me interested in the setting and characters, and makes me want to read more. The main criticisms I have is that Medoara seems a bit inconsitant in her thoughts, and Saril his actions, and that Medora comes off as maybe a bit too impulsive and unlikable as a result.