Timewaster's Guide Archive

Prompt: Brandon's Dialogue Challenge

Shadow Lantern


"It's enchanted."

"And therefore valuable."

"There's enchanted, and then there's cursed.  The difference can be expensive."

"And which do you think it is, Gerrick?"

"Which do you think it is?"

"Why enchanted, of course.  Can't your little device tell you what it does?"

"If it could, don't you think I'd have said?"

"Not if you wanted to know if I know what it does."

"And do you, Yallin?"

"I might."

"No you don't."

"No I don't.  And your device isn't telling you, either?"

"I'm not using it fully until I know more about the lantern.  It has a strong enchantment, but considering what happened last time you brought something like this in, I'm sure you'll forgive my caution.  And understand my impulse t just have your throat slit and call it my own."

"Now that's not hospitable of you.  And since you don't usually take this long to make decisions I doubt you'll be doing that.  Probably."

"We'll see.  How did you come by it?"

"It's an inheritance from a sweet old uncle, lived over near the eastern dwimmerstone mine.  He suffered an unfortunate accident involving a Sister of the Eternal Yearning, a triple humped melon-cow, and a..."

"If you're not going to give a serious answer, my decision on what to do with you may come sooner than you'd like."

"Gerrick, considering your profession, and my profession, how do you think I acquired it?"

"Then I'll rephrase.  Where did it come from?"

"The old warehouse formerly used by the dwimmercraft school.  They had a section for old artefacts.  They recently had to move out due to the cumulative effects the gathered energies had on the structure.  Stuff was transported to some new sites.  Heavily guarded, of course, and we were vigilant in making sure nobody else stole any of it."

"So how likely is it to be missed?"

"The paperwork may have gotten a bit confused as to where it ended up, and its container still holds an old lantern as listed in the manifest.  But since it hadn't been touched in a century or two, I doubt you need to worry about someone coming looking anytime soon."

"Good.  So did the manifest give any clue as to what it does?"

"Might have.  If you read high Sumerrial."

"So we're back to the problem of not knowing what it does."

"You can't use your device to prod it a bit further?"

"I'm not touching it without knowing what it does.  Y'know how dangerous these things can be.  Had a... colleague, who acquired a similar item, spent a lot of time trying to work out what it did, convinced it was valuable.  One morning they came into his room and found what was left of him in a puddle.  He fit in a jar.  A small jar."

"I'm sure you'd be far more cautious..."

"I'm not finished.  His wife kept the jar on her mantelpiece.  But one day her drunken brother visited, looking to borrow some money to maintain that state.  He spied the bottle, and... well lets just say I don't want to end up pissed into some gutter by a drunkard."

"So I guess you're not going to light it and see what happens?"

"Do I look stupid?"

"How do you want me to answer that?"

"Carefully.  You know my lads are just outside."

"So why don't you ask them to bring us some drinks from the bar?"

"I'm not thirsty.  But I am tired.  It's been a long day, so let's get down to it.  Why are you here?"

"Trying to sell this."

"There'e other places to sell it.  Buyers with less history.  It's been a few years since you disappeared following our previous... transaction.  Then you turn up here, same insolent smirk, and yer hair dyed to look younger."

"You have access to a number of specialists who can find out what it does."

"Some of my competitors would buy it without knowing what it does, and bargain with less vigor than you'd expect from me, so that's not it.  What's the real reason?"

"I'm back in the city, figured I'd need to make sure there's no hard feelings."

"And do you think there are?"

"Hey, accidents happen.  But you're a businessman, and the stuff you seized should've paid for your inconvenience."

"And yer friend?  Are there hard feelings over what happened to him?"

"Occupational hazard.  Besides, what am I going to do?  Since you met me in private, not knowing if I'm holding a grudge, I have to assume you're wearing enough charms to protect yourself from anything I could try."

"Doesn't mean you're not trying to cheat me.  In fact, given our history I could just call the watch in, claim the lantern's mine.  You want those inhuman bastards getting hold of ye?"

"Now come on, there's no call for threats.  Especially since you don't want to invite the watch into your business any more than I do, if only cause of the smell."

"Well then, I suppose I'll just have to call me lads in.  They lack the creativity to make it an interestin' threat, though."
"Creative underlings are the last thing you'd want."

"But fer brutal violence, they do the job."

"Brutal violence is the last thing I want."

"An' what I want's to finish here.  I'm tired, an' my eyes are goin'.  Everythin's turnin' green, so give me one good reason I shouldn't..."

"Oh, it's not your eyes.  In fact, if you'd glance at the wall behind you..."

"An' turn my back on ye?"

"Gerrick, Gerrick, Gerrick.  I thought you were protected from anything I could possibly do?  I give my word, for what little it's worth, to make no move against you.  Go on, you know you want to look."

"So th' wall's lit up a garish green.  So wha'?"

"And what's missing?"

"Missing?  Yer bloody corpse if ye don't stop...  My shadow?  It's barely there.  What...?  How...?"

"I knew you'd spot it eventually.  Of course I thought you'd realise your lamp had gone out first."

"How...?   Whe'...?"

"Where's the light coming from?  The lantern, of course.  I lit it before coming here."

"But it's..."

"An invisible flame?  Yes.  And it's the flame which is stealing your shadow, your vitality, your ability to form a coherent sentence."

"Ah'm..."

"Weak?  Lifeless?  Yes.  But on the bright side, I feel energized."

"Why?"

"As you said, he was my friend.  So, let's discuss reparations for the goods you seized..."