As only a tyrannical ruler could do, I nominate myself to be the Lord Ruler of all desserts.
You may be wondering, why would I bother with pesky elections? I am, after all, the
Hero of Ages, so I could just declare myself to own all cakes and all pies. Yet, there is a purpose to my nomination: I hereby announce the "Let Me Eat Cake" Party. You are welcome to join me in my ascendancy to the throne.
The Let Me Eat Cake Party (LMECs, for short) is based solely on honesty and realistic campaign promises, so when I say this, you can believe me: this party's sole purpose is to give me all of their desserts so I can eat cake, along with Pie (I did endorse cake, but its occurrence in the title of my party is happenstance, not blind acquiescence!) and everything else sweet. All your desserts will belong to me. Likewise, I shall do much eating of cake and desserts. In fact, I shall eat my cake and have it too, because after you give me all your cake, I certainly won't be able to eat all of it immediately. I'll be eating one cake while gazing upon a glorious pile of
other cakes.
I may even let you eat cake, too, but this campaign promise is subject to change if I am feeling especially petty and/or arrogant.
Join me in my quest and vote for me! If you don't, I will make a new edict (dictators can do cool things like that) which will create a new tax, called the "Dessert Tax", which will do the same thing as if you voted for me. So, y'know, it's in your best interests to save me the effort of having to speak an edict--it makes me kind of grumpy and petty, and then you won't get to eat your desserts at all.