Timewaster's Guide Archive

General => Rants and Stuff => Topic started by: FirstMateJack on January 26, 2007, 06:31:08 PM

Title: What I learned from being dead.
Post by: FirstMateJack on January 26, 2007, 06:31:08 PM

Some of you may have noticed I dissapeared. I changed careers and was forever in the pit of despair of taking tests and stuff.

Unfortunately, I passed all of them and now I can come back and read all your great posts!!  :)

Title: Re: What I learned from being dead.
Post by: Spriggan on January 26, 2007, 06:44:02 PM

Awesome, glad to have you back.

I actually switched jobs 3 times last year so I know how crazy it gets.

Title: Re: What I learned from being dead.
Post by: Eagle Prince on January 28, 2007, 11:27:26 PM

..but he returns to us, JacktheWhite.

Title: Re: What I learned from being dead.
Post by: FirstMateJack on January 29, 2007, 08:04:48 PM

Thanks for the warm welcome!

I am probably closer to Jackthemulticolored.  ;D  Supposedly that is better.

 Anyway!! I am now an independant Financial Advisor. It is great!

I now have the fantabulous opportunity to catch up on what you all have to say about te Wii and such. I love that system.

Oh... and about the 'learned from being dead' thing, I guess I would say that if you are going to die, and have the option to not, then you probably shouldn't

Title: Re: What I learned from being dead.
Post by: The Lost One on January 31, 2007, 04:52:23 AM

So, if you died and came back as an independent Financial Advisor, did you remember to cash in on that life insurance policy before coming back?

Anyways, good to have you back FMJ.

Title: Re: What I learned from being dead.
Post by: FirstMateJack on January 31, 2007, 07:52:34 PM

Yes! But, I also set up a false limited-liability corporation and started selling 30% of the stock on the NASDAQ and then started sending out faxes and text messages to random numbers addressed to a non-existant CFO stating that we are preparing for our big merger in the next month and we should see an increase of profit by 300%. Thus creating an immediate demand for my 70% of normaly worthless stock shares, which I sold for millions. After which I then I set my proceeds up in a Roth IRA retirement account and stretched it to include my new alias as the contingent beneficiary allowing me to keep the money as an IRA and not pay any estate or capital gains taxes on the exchange. And since I was dead the limited liability corporation took the heat for the false corporation front, who was willed out to an armidillo named Brutus living in Oregon.

All of this is illegal and I do not condone this action (except you can stretch your IRA).

And thanks for the welcome!  :)

Title: Re: What I learned from being dead.
Post by: The Lost One on February 01, 2007, 05:16:37 AM

lol.  Yes, all of that is completely illegal.

Title: Re: What I learned from being dead.
Post by: Shrain on February 01, 2007, 06:44:42 PM

That's one very rich armadillo--with a way cool name. ;)

Title: Re: What I learned from being dead.
Post by: FirstMateJack on February 01, 2007, 07:32:45 PM

Quote from: Shrain on February 01, 2007, 06:44:42 PM

That's one very rich armadillo--with a way cool name. ;)

It is also one very screwed armadillo.

;)  Thanks! I always felt that if/when I own an armadillo I will name it Brutus.