We Run this place!

[JP Dogberry]

Stupid people.

Here ye, Here ye, I put forth a royal command: All people are to be executed, save the king and court. All n00bs, undead of any sort, in fact, anything with the ability to type words into a browser shall count as people for these purposes.

[Lieutenant Kije]

At night a crack squad of my counter-revolutionaries sneaks into the castle compound and flings monkey dung upon your royal highness' sleeping person.  When your attendants find you in the morning they will recognize the peasant stench of monkey dung, brand you an impostor, and have you promptly executed.  

Then we will all revel in anarchy!  

That is, until the responsible adults get home.  When that happens I will stealthily flip my counter-revolutionary badge over to the plain old revolutionary side and continue scheming in remote wilderness nooks and crannies.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

see, that decree would matter.

Y'know, IF you were really in charge here. Which you're not.

[Archon]

 As my own special touch to Kije's attack, I line the walls of JP's castle with dynamite and blow in the fortress around him. Congratulations JP   you will be responsible for the enormous stench that makes the workers hurl while they are clearing away the wreckage.

[Maxwell]

to aid  kije I catapult many many many stinky and unpleasant things at jp's fortress, then I use my mastery of the improbable and occaissionly impossible to throw an boing 747 at the throne room.

[EUOL]

Have fun while you can, people.  We'll be back in two more days!

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

Stave thee off lest ye be felled by the crumbling mounds of dirt that fall from mine headth!

[Archon]

What do you mean EUOL? We freedom fighters are fighting fiercely to make sure that you have a board to come back too. Freedom fighters fighting fiercely. Ten teeny tiny Tyrollians taking tiny bits of tequila while tiptoeing through the tulips. Ok thats enough.

[Maxwell]

eleven benevolent malevolent underwater squid who lost the stiches of their briches of their faithful calvin kliens while pilfering for diamonds in the ancient silver mines of timbuktu, causing much embarassment, not to mention harrasment from the sharks and the squid whom they once called their friends.
learned that at nature camp, I have an even longer one about tadpoles...

[Archon]

The full version of mine is as follows:

One Big Hint
Couple Duck
Three Brown Bear
Four Running Hare
Five Frivolous Females
Six Simple Simons Sitting on a Stump
Seven Sicilian Sailors Sailing The Seven Seas
Eight Egotistical Idiots Echoing Egotistical Idiocies
Nine Gnats Nipping and Napping on Gnats, Knuckles, and Nicotine
Ten Teeny Tiny Tyrollians Taking Tiny bits of Tequila while Tiptoeing through the Tulips

[Maxwell]

one hen
two ducks
thre squacking geese
four limmerick oysters
five corpulent porpoises
six simp tiny tweezers
seven thousand masedonians in full battle array
eight brass monkeys from the ancient crypts of egypt
nine sympathetic apathetic diabetic old men on rollerskates with a mark perpensity for procrastination and sloth
ten sphericle lyrical diabolic denisen of the deep who haul salt from the bottom of the ocean to the four corners of the clay quarry all at the very same time
and then that squid one followed by a ridiculously long one about tadpoles

[JP Dogberry]

Oh, shut up before I smite the lot of you.

[Maxwell]

smiting is all you ever talk about....
is'nt there anytrhing else you can do, ya know, something interesting?

[JP Dogberry]

Like break all your limbs and light you on fire?

[Archon]

Exactly, except we need to be a little more creative. How about we tear off one of his broken arms, make it into a torch, and then use that torch to light him on fire. Kind of an advanced version of the "why are you hitting yourself?" game.