Timewaster's Guide Archive
General => Rants and Stuff => Topic started by: Spriggan on September 02, 2004, 09:19:20 AM
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With all the bigwigs that actualy moniter the place (you know Fell and Tage don't ;) )off in Boston with limited net access I hear by declair JP king of TWG with me as his royal advider, Entropy as his head general and Gemm as Royal Jester! Let this decree be knowen throughout the land a revolution has come!
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You'll need to bribe the masses with empty promises now, or be overrun by the mob.
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I get to head up the counter-revolutionary forces stationed in guerilla bases throughout the countryside then. Viva la anti-revolution!
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who said access was limited?
mwa ha ha ha ha ha
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who said access was limited?
mwa ha ha ha ha ha
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JP may be king but may I remind you that I am the Lord High Emperor God-King.
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And I am the one controlling SE with my mind control powers. Or at least I hope so.
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The Lord Emperor god-King is dead (Assassinated, see?)
Long Live the King!
Indeed, as I know run this place, those I favour shall reap rewards, while those I don't shall fear my wrath. This wrath shall me meted out by my loyal advisors, Gemm, Spriggan and Entropy, as mentioned.
Now that I'm in charge, I shall make a royal decree.
Royal Decree #1: Here ye, here ye, you better make me a Sandwhich.
While we;re at it, here's another
Royal Decree #2: Entropy, go and deal with Kije's Counter-Revolutionaries. Feed them to Cockraoches, or something.
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Uh, "Sir", Kije's counter-revolutionaries are there to keep you in power, hence to counter revolutions against you. Easy mistake, I guess, I can see how you may have thought that they were there to counter your rule.
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But see, my coming to power was through a revolution, and here you are coming into my court to trick me into thinking my mortal enemy is in fact my ally?
You are a treasonous spy. Have him put into the corner and forgotten about!
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But platform wars is in the corner, and by your request! I need a hamburger and a large bucket of paper clips...
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Platform wars was the last spy to betray me. But you, unlike he, should have known better. Therefore, you shall serve in his place.
My *Loyal* minions, who of you has FTP access?
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Oh well, at least now I get this sandwich. Mmmm, meaty.
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/me throws the rebels in Sigil and laughs.
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so am I like a harmless yet annoying plaque, like a bad itch that wont go away, or do I represent something that is either A: too deep to understand in this life or B:incredibly shallow and stupid but never the less mildly entertaining?
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You are all SO toast. You don't understand that dying has not made me any less powerful.
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just smellier
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Right, so the undead wants to beatdown the new king?
/me points to all the lined up paladins, preparing to turn undead.
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Unfortunately for you, since SE was a holy man in life, he can not be harmed by holy actions such as turn undead. So he proceeds to go forward and slap all of these paladins across the face WITH......a herring!
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He was a holy man in LIFE. He is no lomger in life. He's DEAD. Since he's still walking around, that makes him UNDEAD. Which means he can be turned.
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Stop picking on us undead. We get a bad rap. Just because 'Evil' is part of our name, people assume we're...well, uh...never mind.
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Ah Hah JP! My plot has worked. For while you were arguing with me, the undead armies, Saint included, snuck up behind your paladins and slit all of their throats. Turn that!
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/me hefts his executioners axe and runs after Archon cackling madly
Come back here! I need more shrunken noob heads for my wall!
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We guerillas cannot be thrown anywhere, and like pre-Bolivia Che Guevara are legendary and untouchable.
So tremble, usurpers, whilst we plot in caves, nooks and crannies undiscoverable by thou and thy lackeys!
Oh - and you all smell of elderberries!
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Come back here! I need more shrunken noob heads for my wall!
Incidentally, did I miss the part where Archon got hastily shut down by Entropy's swift anti-newbie justice? I was thinking about that yesterday, and wondering how a new guy managed to show up without getting yelled at.
Or was it just because Archon didn't show up and immediately start acting stupid?
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I think he was another guy that ent smacked down and then changed his name.
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No, I avoided that part somehow, I am and always have been Archon. The most I got was a small reproach from SE and HoM in this thread.
http://www.timewastersguide.com/boards/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=rantage;action=display;num=1091562600
Entropy comes late to try and add my head to his wall.
*Archon turns around and shoots the berserk Entropy several times.
I actually think that I know the reason I never got attacked is due to my brother. I have an older brother and unlike the big brothers on this board he is very aggressive. I would say that he is worse than Entropy, so growing up around him I learned to watch what I say.
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I know Archon personally, Spriggin, he's not someone who changed his name.
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Actually, I'm a variant of the 1st edition D&D Lich. While I retain my good alignment, I am undead, but can still be resurrected. Also, because I'm first edition, I cannot be turned. Esp by Paladins who have a vastly weakened turning ability.
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I guess this makes me the guy who was stuck down in his basement concocting random schemes of madness while the irrelevant revolution began in the world above.
Careful with the Obi-Wan references SE. I got there first. ;)
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Stupid people.
Here ye, Here ye, I put forth a royal command: All people are to be executed, save the king and court. All n00bs, undead of any sort, in fact, anything with the ability to type words into a browser shall count as people for these purposes.
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At night a crack squad of my counter-revolutionaries sneaks into the castle compound and flings monkey dung upon your royal highness' sleeping person. When your attendants find you in the morning they will recognize the peasant stench of monkey dung, brand you an impostor, and have you promptly executed.
Then we will all revel in anarchy!
That is, until the responsible adults get home. When that happens I will stealthily flip my counter-revolutionary badge over to the plain old revolutionary side and continue scheming in remote wilderness nooks and crannies.
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see, that decree would matter.
Y'know, IF you were really in charge here. Which you're not.
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As my own special touch to Kije's attack, I line the walls of JP's castle with dynamite and blow in the fortress around him. Congratulations JP ;D you will be responsible for the enormous stench that makes the workers hurl while they are clearing away the wreckage.
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to aid kije I catapult many many many stinky and unpleasant things at jp's fortress, then I use my mastery of the improbable and occaissionly impossible to throw an boing 747 at the throne room.
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Have fun while you can, people. We'll be back in two more days!
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Stave thee off lest ye be felled by the crumbling mounds of dirt that fall from mine headth!
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What do you mean EUOL? We freedom fighters are fighting fiercely to make sure that you have a board to come back too. Freedom fighters fighting fiercely. Ten teeny tiny Tyrollians taking tiny bits of tequila while tiptoeing through the tulips. Ok thats enough.
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eleven benevolent malevolent underwater squid who lost the stiches of their briches of their faithful calvin kliens while pilfering for diamonds in the ancient silver mines of timbuktu, causing much embarassment, not to mention harrasment from the sharks and the squid whom they once called their friends.
learned that at nature camp, I have an even longer one about tadpoles...
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The full version of mine is as follows:
One Big Hint
Couple Duck
Three Brown Bear
Four Running Hare
Five Frivolous Females
Six Simple Simons Sitting on a Stump
Seven Sicilian Sailors Sailing The Seven Seas
Eight Egotistical Idiots Echoing Egotistical Idiocies
Nine Gnats Nipping and Napping on Gnats, Knuckles, and Nicotine
Ten Teeny Tiny Tyrollians Taking Tiny bits of Tequila while Tiptoeing through the Tulips
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one hen
two ducks
thre squacking geese
four limmerick oysters
five corpulent porpoises
six simp tiny tweezers
seven thousand masedonians in full battle array
eight brass monkeys from the ancient crypts of egypt
nine sympathetic apathetic diabetic old men on rollerskates with a mark perpensity for procrastination and sloth
ten sphericle lyrical diabolic denisen of the deep who haul salt from the bottom of the ocean to the four corners of the clay quarry all at the very same time
and then that squid one followed by a ridiculously long one about tadpoles
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Oh, shut up before I smite the lot of you.
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smiting is all you ever talk about....
is'nt there anytrhing else you can do, ya know, something interesting?
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Like break all your limbs and light you on fire?
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Exactly, except we need to be a little more creative. How about we tear off one of his broken arms, make it into a torch, and then use that torch to light him on fire. Kind of an advanced version of the "why are you hitting yourself?" game.
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no thats more angry than interesting, I meant say something interesting, like ya know something that has to do with something and makes you actually think, cuz come on JP that was just a quick defensive answer because I insulted, you may not have felt insulted, but you may have felt the need to put me in my place... just start an interesting topic about a movie or a game or something instead of yelling at everyone cuz it makes you feel big.
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I just read that twice, and it was still unintelligable.
Go away before I break all your limbs and light you on fire.
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uh huh, and how are you going to manage this all the way from australia?
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As so:
/me breaks all your limbs and lights you on fire. And smites you for good measure.