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Writing Group / Re: Writing Prompts!
« on: March 08, 2011, 04:25:24 AM »
Most of the time I don't do the writing prompts featured on the WE podcast, but this one just kinda popped into my head while listening, so I gave it a shot. I apologize in advance to the Steve Pollaskis of the world.
Writing Excuses Prompt, Episode 5.27
“He should have been killed at birth. I say that, and I used to be pro-life. Now, of course, there’s no longer any choice at all.
But seriously- he should have been killed at birth. Why? Are you kidding me?
He only doomed us all!
Who? Who?! Oh, for.. Steve Pollaski, that’s who! He was only on the NY Times best-sellers list for three months! Don’t you read? Anything?
Look, the stupid idiot wrote a standard science fiction alien invasion book. Ok, not a big deal right? There are hundreds of them, millions even! There’re a dozen different iterations, a thousand subversions, and half a million cross-overs in that subgenre alone!
Ah, but this one, this one is the one that went viral. Idiot!
As if it weren’t enough that information-age brats put up snarky websites detailing-detailing, I say- the best ways in which to become supreme overlords! No! Of course not! This idiot, this maggot, feeding off the excrement of popular media, had to go and put his damn book out and doom. us. all!
Oh, I see. You think I’m overreacting.
HAVE YOU TAKEN A LOOK AROUND LATELY?!
Can you not SEE the GIANT ALIEN SPACESHIP taking up 80% of the sky?! God, I am surrounded by morons! Can you do something about that? Please?!!
Oh don’t give me that look- who believes in aliens, I ask you? And yet, there they are. Right there. With their pointy disintegration… thingies. And their buzzy flappy things that shoot lightning… You’re seriously gonna stand there and tell me God doesn’t exist after seeing things like that? Well to each his own, but at this point? I’m willing to give belief a shot. By all accounts, God’s better than our new masters anyway.
Ah. Right. They haven’t hurt us. No, you’re right, I suppose… if you discount all the people they’ve murdered subduing the rest of us! Not to mention the imminent prospect of total enslavement.
So what did he… oh, right, I was forgetting that you don’t actually read.
Well, see, Pollaski made his aliens smart. They didn’t show up naked. They attacked, not the city centers, but the military installations. They sunk every navy in the world. They systematically destroyed every single flying thing- artificial or organic- in the first half hour. Their ships are designed to move faster than molasses in our atmosphere. They used the moon as a base of operations, and they brought backup.
So? So?! What the hell do you think these aliens did?! ONLY EXACTLY WHAT POLLASKI TOLD THEM TO DO!
NO, I will not ‘shut up’! Steve Pollaski has to answer for his crimes! I want justice! I want…!
Don’t you point that thing at me! Do you think I’m scared of you? Well, DO…”
Writing Excuses Prompt, Episode 5.27
“He should have been killed at birth. I say that, and I used to be pro-life. Now, of course, there’s no longer any choice at all.
But seriously- he should have been killed at birth. Why? Are you kidding me?
He only doomed us all!
Who? Who?! Oh, for.. Steve Pollaski, that’s who! He was only on the NY Times best-sellers list for three months! Don’t you read? Anything?
Look, the stupid idiot wrote a standard science fiction alien invasion book. Ok, not a big deal right? There are hundreds of them, millions even! There’re a dozen different iterations, a thousand subversions, and half a million cross-overs in that subgenre alone!
Ah, but this one, this one is the one that went viral. Idiot!
As if it weren’t enough that information-age brats put up snarky websites detailing-detailing, I say- the best ways in which to become supreme overlords! No! Of course not! This idiot, this maggot, feeding off the excrement of popular media, had to go and put his damn book out and doom. us. all!
Oh, I see. You think I’m overreacting.
HAVE YOU TAKEN A LOOK AROUND LATELY?!
Can you not SEE the GIANT ALIEN SPACESHIP taking up 80% of the sky?! God, I am surrounded by morons! Can you do something about that? Please?!!
Oh don’t give me that look- who believes in aliens, I ask you? And yet, there they are. Right there. With their pointy disintegration… thingies. And their buzzy flappy things that shoot lightning… You’re seriously gonna stand there and tell me God doesn’t exist after seeing things like that? Well to each his own, but at this point? I’m willing to give belief a shot. By all accounts, God’s better than our new masters anyway.
Ah. Right. They haven’t hurt us. No, you’re right, I suppose… if you discount all the people they’ve murdered subduing the rest of us! Not to mention the imminent prospect of total enslavement.
So what did he… oh, right, I was forgetting that you don’t actually read.
Well, see, Pollaski made his aliens smart. They didn’t show up naked. They attacked, not the city centers, but the military installations. They sunk every navy in the world. They systematically destroyed every single flying thing- artificial or organic- in the first half hour. Their ships are designed to move faster than molasses in our atmosphere. They used the moon as a base of operations, and they brought backup.
So? So?! What the hell do you think these aliens did?! ONLY EXACTLY WHAT POLLASKI TOLD THEM TO DO!
NO, I will not ‘shut up’! Steve Pollaski has to answer for his crimes! I want justice! I want…!
Don’t you point that thing at me! Do you think I’m scared of you? Well, DO…”