Timewaster's Guide Archive

   “She can hear us!”
   “No she can’t!”
   “Yes she can, look at her. She’s looking right at me.”
   “No she's not. She just sees a dumb animal.”
   “Shut up.”
   “So sad! Why are they always so sad when they hear us! Most of them think they’re crazy!”
   “Most of them are. You know that.”
   “I like this one.”
   “I don’t. She has a darkness about her.”
   “You would too if you had something terrible like that happen to you.”
   “What happened? Can you tell?”
   “No. I just know something bad happened.”
   “What are we going to do about it?”
   “Do? Nothing!”
   “We never do anything!”
   “I wish we could do something. I wish she wasn’t so sad.”
   “Do you think she sees us?”
   “No, no, she’s too busy...Doing whatever that is she's doing. I’ve never understood why the big ones would do that. Water is fine like it is!”
   “But they all do that, or most of them anyway.”
   “Some of them just fall asleep after drinking the dark rotten-smelling water.”
   “That's not rotten-smelling or dark. I think it is something else.”
   “I hope she doesn’t eat us. Does she have anything to eat? I haven't seen it yet.”
   “I haven't seen it either.”
   “Maybe she does want to eat us. She's got to be hungry.”
   “She is! I can tell! Let's go!”
   “I do wish you’d stay. I’m not going to eat you, and I’d be appreciative of the company.”
   “Were you talking to us?”
   “Yes, I was,” said Naoren, forcing a thin smile that probably wasn't too convincing. “I’d offer you a bit of tea, but it’s probably too hot for you.”
   “Tea! That’s what it is. Smells good, though it does look a bit hot.”
   “Of course its hot, ninny-brain. It’s been in the fire for awhile.”
   “Shut up. I was just being nice.”
   “I don't have much food, or I’d offer you something to eat
   “Don’t be silly. We probably wouldn’t eat it anyway.”
   “Do you have names?  I’m not sure what to call you.”
   “Why would we need those?”
“Yeah, why do you need to ‘call’ us anything?”
   “Well, what do you call yourselves?”
   “Why do we need to call each other anything?”
“I simply talk to the one I need to talk to. If I need to talk to another one, I go talk to that other one.”
   “Sometimes,  the big ones can be so funny!”
   “Yes, and confusing, too!”
   “You don’t mind if we stay here for a bit, do you?”
   “Yes, you are quite warm.”
   “Yes, we’d like to stay if that’s alright with you.”
   “Oh, goodness yes! I haven’t had any company for quite some time.”
   “It would be our pleasure.”
   “Yes, quite!”
   “Tell me, have you talked with any other ‘big ones’, ones like me?”
   “We see them from time to time.”
“Maybe not lots, but we do see them.”
   “Do any of them ever talk back to you?”
   “Sometimes.”
   “Most of the time, they don’t pay any attention to us.”
   “Yes, most of the time, even when we know they can here us.”
   “Yes, we know.”
   “We most certainly do.”
   “Sometimes, they drink this funny yellow liquid that makes the laugh and not make sense.”
   “Yes, even moreso than normal big ones.”
   “Yes, quite!”
   “That would be ale, I suppose. It does make us talk funny after a fashion.”
   “Did you want to ask us something else, she?”
   “Yes, did you?”
   “You can, you know.”
   “We know you want to, it’s okay.”
   “Yes, you can. It won't upset us.”
   “No, no it won't. Not like you think it will.”
   “Go ahead and ask us.”
   “We don't mind.”
   “Really, we don’t!”
   “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?!?!?”
   “I was wondering if you saw a man, all in black, and a young boy pass through here.”
   “What, did you see something? Did you see them? What did you see?”
   “We don’t want to tell you.”
   “No we don't.”
   “We really don’t.”
   “Please don't make us.”
   “Why don’t you want to tell me? It can't make things any worse for me. Please, just tell me.”
   “We saw them.”
   “The ones you’re looking for.”
   “The big ones.”
   “The one in black and the smaller one.”
   “They were here.”
   “I’m sorry to react so, it’s just that I didn’t expect to hear of them so soon. Was the boy well?”
   “Boy?”
   “What's a boy?”
   “He would have been the smaller one. He is lost. Well, not lost, not really. He was stolen by the big one and I'm trying to get him back.”
   “Is the little one your cub?”
   “Is he?”
   “Yes, in a way I guess he is. Tell me, was he okay?”
   “Yes, he was fine.”
   “He was okay.”
   “Well, I’m not sure.”
   “Come to think of it, neither am I.”
   “He wasn't happy.”
   “I think he wanted you.”
   “He kept asking for you.
   “The other one was sad, too.”
   “He wasn't happy.”
   “He felt bad.”
   “We could tell.”
   “Yes, we could tell.”
   “Good. I hope he rots in the deepest of the five hells. There is a special place for him there.”
   “I think he would agree with you.”
   “Yes, we would.”
   “We didn’t like him at all.”
   “No, not at all.”
   “But we must be going now.”
   “We’re not really supposed to talk to you.”
   “We wouldn’t want to get in trouble.”
   “No, we wouldn’t.”
   “Will I see you again.”
   “Perhaps we will.”
   “I hope you find your cub.”
   “Come back if you do.”
   “Yes, please come back.”