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Reading Excuses / Re: May 31 - Talyn - It's All Mercenary CH 1
« on: June 08, 2010, 12:16:40 AM »
Silk, since you admit not knowing much about horses, let me explain where I'm coming from with Conner. Unlike a lot of fantasy stories where the horse is merely living transportation, no more than part of the scenery, Conner has his own distinct personality, and therefore is a character in his own right. It's also more true to life since any horse-owner will tell you the same. Is your argument that he seems too smart? There is a ton of literature out there about horse intelligence. Did you know miniature horses can do as much and more than any guide dog, plus they live over three times longer? War horses were trained to fight with their riders. I saw a demonstration by a police horse once. If I were on the run, I'd be more afraid of the horse than the cop riding it.
As for him returning to his owner, that can also be explained by training. Horses can be acclimated to all kinds of noises and chaos (think about mounted police in cities). A mercenary would also have frequent encounters of the sort, at least in my world, so we can explain his quick return as such.
His 'protest' would be a grumble, a snort, any sort of noise a horse would make. I don't have to be specific for a reader to infer that he makes a noise meaning he isn't happy.
I imagine my narrator is about thirty or so. No, he's not a grizzled old veteran, but he's not a novice either. He does have some experience. His voice is still being refined. My first version was very chatty, sardonic, and snarky, but it went all over the place as new thoughts popped up. I'm still trying to find the happy medium.
This chapter actually has been tweaked since the version you read. I can send it to you if you're interested.
As for him returning to his owner, that can also be explained by training. Horses can be acclimated to all kinds of noises and chaos (think about mounted police in cities). A mercenary would also have frequent encounters of the sort, at least in my world, so we can explain his quick return as such.
His 'protest' would be a grumble, a snort, any sort of noise a horse would make. I don't have to be specific for a reader to infer that he makes a noise meaning he isn't happy.
I imagine my narrator is about thirty or so. No, he's not a grizzled old veteran, but he's not a novice either. He does have some experience. His voice is still being refined. My first version was very chatty, sardonic, and snarky, but it went all over the place as new thoughts popped up. I'm still trying to find the happy medium.
This chapter actually has been tweaked since the version you read. I can send it to you if you're interested.