Timewaster's Guide Archive
Games => Video Games => Topic started by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on June 04, 2004, 09:12:37 AM
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Did you want a free copy of Desert Rats Vs. Afrika Korps? Well, we can help. But you have to be creative first. Respond to this scenario for us:
After WW2, you inherited twenty tanks. Unfortunately, none of them work properly. They either can move or shoot, but not both. In 200 words or less, explain what you would do with the tanks. Funniest entry Wins.
For bonus points reference Either squirrels with rocket launchers OR Men with pants on their head, but not both. Pictures are acceptable, but not necessary they will not increase your chance of winning.
The Judges will be Spriggan and Entropy and the contest will run till the 18th of June. Entries can be submitted via e-mail to Spriggan ([email protected]) or posted on our forums. All entries submitted on our forum require a membership and a valid E-mail address. The winner will be contacted before the end of the month (June) by Spriggan.
note: Multiple entries are allowed.
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I'd stack 100 firing tanks one a piece on top of moving tanks, leaving me with 100 double weight, unbalanced tanks that are mobile and firing. Then, I would have rocket launcher bearing squirells pilot them, and use the men with pants on their head to distract the enemy while the tanks did their work.
Then, while everyone was watching that or possibly even stop it, my giant screaming horde of viscious ninja monkey pirate assassin priest vikings would destroy all my enemies.
It doesn't matter that I don't get the extra points for using both the squirells and pants-heads. Because I'm not eligible anyway.
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Speaking personally, I'd annex the Sudetenland.
SE -- the rules say you only get twenty tanks, but you have 200. That's cheating. You're disqualified.
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oh, what a digit here and there between friends?
also, I'm going to use my vast military superiority to destroy all those who disqualify me.
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The rules also say squirrils or men with pants, not both...
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The rules also say squirrils or men with pants, not both...
It doesn't matter that I don't get the extra points for using both the squirells and pants-heads. Because I'm not eligible anyway.
yes, I already addressed that point.
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Here's my entry (or my first entry if we're allowed more than one):
I would take the tanks and form a not-for-profit organization called "Tanks for Teens". My henchmen and I would drive the tanks in fund-raising parades through the cities and towns of the world, collecting donations and contributions, and then using those funds to support after-school programs to help keep teens off the streets and out of trouble.
Of course, our tank exhaust will be laced with a designer narcotic that will make any parade attendee my mindless slave. And then, for good measure, I'll arm the squirrels with pitchforks, bubble gum, and rocket launchers, among other things.
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I would need three things other than the tanks. Squirrels, Rocket Launchers and an itallian pizza chef who comes with everything you need to make a pizza. And here's why.
First I would kidnap the pizza chef with what other than rocket launcher clad squirrels. I would force him to train four hundred other people to cook pizzas. Then I would move each and every one of my tanks to special locations around New England and part of the mideast.
Once my tanks were in place I would open a pizza buisness covering several states, and once someone ordered a pizza I would relay it from one tank to another via missile tubes. Then, once close enough to the persons house, my squirrel minions would reheat the pizza with a rocket launcher and deliver.
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I would allow them all to shoot and have my men with pants on their heads drag them around with ropes. But with these tanks I will defend my Tower of Babel from God. And I would have to have T90S.
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I'm not qualified, but here's my answer for fun:
First, I would hire a bunch of men with pants on their head. Since they have pants on their heads, they must be certifably insane, and so I can probably hire them for an imaginary bucket of air a week. These men would modify the tanks that fire by altering the turrets to make them great artillery pieces. Then, I place these surrounding the perimeter of an obstacle course. Driving around the obstacle course are the other tanks, ready to run people over.
After this, I start a game show where contestants must traverse the obstacle course, facing certain doom in order to win some amount of money. Possibly a reality show varient where the contestants vote on who has to run next.
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I would choose the 20 mobile tanks then I would scrap their guns and in their places i would super glue rocket weilding squirelles, then I would take my new mobile squirlly rocket launceher tanks and conquer every steak and shake and jack in the box in america, I would be the undisputed emperor of high quality fast food!!!, then I might go and annex swtzerland, just to get the chocolate and after that I will conquer china and and king of ramen!
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only one thing doesn't make sense there (y'know, besides taking over the most populous nation on the planet with only 20 armored units). You think Jack in the Box is 'high quality' even in the context of fast food?
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and and king of ramen!
I don't know. That could be described as "Senseless", depending on your "point of view"...
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Well I've decided to allow mulitple entries for this contest because we're not getting many (there are only 4 legal entries, HoM is disqualified because he got the review copy). I'll be adding this to the first post so anyone new will know.
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Only 2 days left! If you didn't see it I've allowed mutilple entries so go wild and amuse me and Entropy!
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Last day folks. Submit or be a loser for the rest of your life!
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Are you saying we should submit entries? Or submit to your every whim?
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yes.
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wow this contest didn't go over well. Was it that you people didn't want the game, or that you thought the contest itself sucked?
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The contest was pretty lame. But I wasn't eligible anyway.
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so what makes a "good" contest?
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I wasn't eligible, so I didn't bother coming up with more than one idea.
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Well I tried to get more people to get in by posting about the contest on other forums that I sometimes frequent. And that didn't get us a single entry. So that's why I want to know if it was the item we were giveing away or the actual contest. I'm assumeing that it was the item becasue its not that it was "that" bad of a contest. It was somewhat fun, easy, and didn't take much time to do.
Next moth we're giveing away HARP corerule book, and I'm wanting to fix what ever problems that there were with this contest for that one.
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Uh, I wanted a free game, so I entered. I see nothing wrong with the product or the contest. I entered and didn't have time to ponder out another entry. Although I DID make a picture that I have no webspace for...
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Well, I thought my one entry was enough.
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The contest is over, thanks to all that entered. Me and Entropy will be reviewing all the entries and will announce the winner sometime next week.
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After much debate, political intrigue, and sidetracking into discussions of how to take the forum over, me and my esteemed collegue (for lack of a better term) have decided upon the winner.
Lieutenant Kije is the winner!
Spriggan will sort out the postage etc with you in an email. We hope you enjoy your game :)
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Yea Kije! I've sent a conformation e-mail to the address you have in your profile.
And watch for our next contest starting the first week of July!
I'll be unstickying this thread late monday night
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Well, I'd write an acceptance speech, but...I won't. Thanks to the ninja monkeys, though. I couldn't a' done it without ya!