It would be nice to get the first draft done, but I've kind of hit my first blank part in the plot. I've knew the first two parts before I wrote them, and I have the ending all mapped out, but the first part of this third section, I'm not quite sure how to proceed. I thought I'd rewrite while I figured it out.
I wanted to give the Queen and the Earth child normal names, and for me you don't get more normal than Jane and John, but if it's jarring perhaps I will revise them. I've been trying to integrate created names and real names, and so far I've gotten no complaints with Adam, Felix, etc. Do you think the fact that they sound too modern is what's jarring for you? Or is it just that the names are too 'normal'?
I'll take a listen to the podcast, reread the dialogue a bit, and try and smooth things out.
Now that you've seen the other side of the Queen, do you have any ideas for my viewpoint problem? I want to show her change as a character, but to do so I'm showing her side of the story, and thus destroying the tension.
I'm already planning on cutting all of Gareth's viewpoints. Most of them aren't needed, and the one's that are can probably be shuffled around to different characters. Lots of them are just, "I'm going to attack now," type scenes, so cutting them will probably be good.