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Brandon Sanderson / Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« on: March 14, 2008, 06:18:16 PM »
I just finished 4.2 and although I haven't read any previous versions, I noticed that you have made changes to the character of Parlin. In prior versions you said he was too overbearing on the story, but I think in this version the pendulum may have swung too far the other way. I kept wondering why he was there, and what his point was. Then he starts wearing the hats, and I found myself just wishing he would go away. When he is killed I thought "Oh, thats what he is for, plot hook fodder".
I would add some content to show, as you have suggested, that he and Vivenna have a close, but perhaps forced relationship. Most of this could be done by simply starting Vivenna's story earlier and allowing us to see some travel time. If not that, then I would consider removing the character altogether.
Whatever you end up doing, I would have liked to feel like Parlin's death meant more to Vivenna than just a gruesome scene.
Other than that my only suggestion is to add a table of contents. I was able to do this easily with words auto-reference tools and found it was very helpful when reading the book over several sittings.
Having dispensed with the (hopefully constructive) criticism I have to say I really enjoyed this book. It was also good to see that some of the parts of the book I was struggling with, are also the parts you have rewritten and plan on working on. I will defiantly look froward to other versions, and the final publication.
I was also happy to see that you intended his book to be less serious than your Mistborn series. While I haven't read that series yet, it is good to know you can write both the serious and less serious aspects of fantasy. I wouldn't go so far as to call Warbreaker light hearted, but it certainty wasn't dark.
I will admit as my final remark that I read Warbreaker to gain some measure of understanding of you as an author now that you hold the reins of Robert Jordans great saga. Thank you for posting a complete work with which I could get such a sense. I know that wasn't your original intention, but I think it sets at ease many of the uncertainties Jordan's fans have felt in regards to the future of his work.
I would add some content to show, as you have suggested, that he and Vivenna have a close, but perhaps forced relationship. Most of this could be done by simply starting Vivenna's story earlier and allowing us to see some travel time. If not that, then I would consider removing the character altogether.
Whatever you end up doing, I would have liked to feel like Parlin's death meant more to Vivenna than just a gruesome scene.
Other than that my only suggestion is to add a table of contents. I was able to do this easily with words auto-reference tools and found it was very helpful when reading the book over several sittings.
Having dispensed with the (hopefully constructive) criticism I have to say I really enjoyed this book. It was also good to see that some of the parts of the book I was struggling with, are also the parts you have rewritten and plan on working on. I will defiantly look froward to other versions, and the final publication.
I was also happy to see that you intended his book to be less serious than your Mistborn series. While I haven't read that series yet, it is good to know you can write both the serious and less serious aspects of fantasy. I wouldn't go so far as to call Warbreaker light hearted, but it certainty wasn't dark.
I will admit as my final remark that I read Warbreaker to gain some measure of understanding of you as an author now that you hold the reins of Robert Jordans great saga. Thank you for posting a complete work with which I could get such a sense. I know that wasn't your original intention, but I think it sets at ease many of the uncertainties Jordan's fans have felt in regards to the future of his work.