column: EUOLogy #3

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

reference: http://www.timewastersguide.com/view.php?id=811

It's a little ranty, EUOL. A bit too much of indignation and not enough, I dunno... productive material? *shrug* That's my opinion.

[stacer]

I agree with the general sentiment, though. I don't understand why people like such a poorly written book. I bought it on sale when it first came out, thinking it would be fun to read a bestselling adult novel once in a while, but it was just so bad. Normally I keep every book I've ever owned, but I sold it as soon as I'd finished it.

[House of Mustard]

I enjoyed the book, if only for the discussion that it's brought up.  (Which is kind of like saying you like something because you can make fun of it.)

But I agreed with most everything in the EUOLogy, too.  The characters were awful; the plotting was terrible; the "codes" were a huge cop-out.  (Aren't anagrams the most basic code on the planet--the kinds of things you find on the back of cereal boxes?)

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

cereal? Like the Da Vinci Cheerios?

[House of Mustard]

Probably AlphaBits, so you can mix them up and spell stuff.

If you look closely at the painting of The Last Supper, you can see that's what they're eating.  Proof!

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

see, I don't buy that. I think that it's all just a cover to hide the ancient existance of Lucky Charms. We all know that the Last Supper was lucky charms and milk, not this bread and wine smack.

[House of Mustard]

If it was my last supper, I'd probably have pork chops.  Then again, I'm not Jewish.  Then again, this is so blasphemous, we're all going to hell.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

that's right we are. But it's been that way for a long time. I've decided I'm the bus driver when we go. Want me to save you a good seat?

[House of Mustard]

If I don't bring correct change do I still have to go?

[Entsuropi]

Yeah. Too much bitterness, too little substance.

I did a quick look for British Bestselling books.

Second best paperback at WHS.
Number 2 at Ottakars
Also number two at Amazon.

Guess we like it as well.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

You get tied to the roof if you don't have exact change and have to read James Joyce novels the whole way.

[EUOL]

It's a little ranty, EUOL. A bit too much of indignation and not enough, I dunno... productive material? *shrug* That's my opinion.

That's why this is a column, folks, not a review.  I'm not trying to be constructive or critical, I'm just trying to be mildly entertaining while voicing whatever thoughts/opinions surface in my mind.  

[House of Mustard]

Here's my main complaint with the book:

Of course there are a lot of false "facts", but there's one big unexplained plot hole.

The book present it as truth that Christ was not considered divine while he was on earth--and that that idea was only added 300 years later at some Catholic Council.

Given that 'truth' (of course it's not true, but the book presents it that way) why would dozens and dozens of generations devote their lives to protecting Christ's bloodline.  If, in fact, he was just a mortal man, like everybody else--and that is one of the truths that this secret group preserve--then why are two-thousand-years-worth of these guys willing to die to protect the bloodline?

[stacer]

Personally, I think the book would have been improved 100% if he hadn't equated the possibility of Christ's being married with his theory that Christ wasn't messianic or divine. That just doesn't connect.

[EUOL]

I don't mind any of that half as much as I mind the focus on preaching as opposed to story.  I don't care if characters believe in a manner opposite of my own (I went into this book expecting that some would.)  I do mind, however, when I sense that the book, story, and characters are nothing more than a weak method of getting the author's political agenda across.  Strip the book of its forced message, and the things left over barely make a novel.

By the way--of curious note, while I was in New York, Tom Doherty mentioned that this book as being terrible.  So, we're in good company.