Science Related Jokes

[cheesegrater]

This place is too morbid. Let's light up the atmosphere with some science related jokes. I got 2 jokes:

The zeroth law of thermodynamics is called the zeroth law because it is more fundemental than the other laws but it was discovered later on. So, if a even more fundemental law was discovered it would be called the minus oneth law.

Torque=Mass x Acceleration x Distance
Torque=mad

[Skar]

Ouch.  Those were painful.  Here's one.

There was an international symposium on the exporation of space and as such things often do it turned into a one-up contest over who had the most ambitious plan.

The Americans talked about how they were going to land on the moon, again.

The Europeans talked about how they were going to build a giant Croissant in the asteroid belt.

The nation of stupid people got up and said they were going to land an expedition on the Sun.  Silence greeted their pronouncement until an Australian asked them how they were going to get around the whole heat/gas issue.

The scientist from the nation of stupid people replied, "We will only land on the surface at night."

Badum tsssh.

[JP Dogberry]

There are two Cesium atoms walking down the street. The first suddenly stops.

The second asks him what's wrong.

"Oh, I think I lost an electron somewhere around here."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm Positive!"

[Oseleon]

If your not part of the solution, your part of the precipitate

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

(pi)r². No they aren't, pie are round. cornbread are square.

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.


There are 3 types of mathematicians: Those who can count and those who can't.

(ok, so that was all math, not really science, but the jokes are just as good as those above)


ed: it's sad. ALT-227 should be the Pi symbol, but it didn't work.

[Peter Ahlstrom]

So after the 40 days and nights of rain, and the waiting for the water to go down, the Ark landed and Noah told the animals to go forth and multiply. But  these two snakes who came up to him and said, "We can't do that."

"Why's that?" said Noah.

They replied, "Because we're adders."

A couple months later though Noah was walking along and saw the adders in a nest with a bunch of little baby adders. "I guess you were able to multiply after all," he said to them.

And the snakes said, "We used logarithms."

[Master Gopher]

Kinky science professor jokes...

"Is that a test tube in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

...ahh, my weird friends.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

What does a chemist say when he gets out of college?
I just got a job making $40,000 a year!
What does a mechanical engineer say when he gets out of college?
I just got a job making $50,000 a year!
What does a humanities major say when he gets out of college?
Do you want fries with that?

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

=P Humbug to you SE! I say "is that enough sir/ma'am?" So hah! I'm totally changing that joke.

[fuzzyoctopus]

Yeah, what's the difference between a humanities major and a large pizza.


A large pizza can feed a family of four.

[Tekiel]

And God said:
E = (1/2)MV^ 2 - (Ze ^ 2)/r
and there was light!

Entropy isn't what it used to be...

This message was written entirely with recycled electrons.