From space, the world was still blue. Mostly.
I think you can just combine those. I mean, the
Mostly. just seems unnecessary. Maybe try:
From space, the world was still blue, at least for the most part. In my opinion it sounds better, but maybe experiment I guess?
There were green smatterings of land here and there among the blue, just as there always had been, but it was still mostly blue.
Next, I have to say I really don't like the word
smattering you used there. I'm not sure what it is about that word and how it's used, but it feels weird lol. Maybe it's just me... If you decide to use a different word, you can always go to
Rhymezone.com, which I've found exceedingly useful when I just can't think of the right word. Although, it could just be me, but I did ask the opinion of a friend who did agree.
The color stayed the same. It always stayed the same.
Once again it just seems like you can combine that into a better sentence structure. Maybe:
The color stayed the same as it always did. Though experimenting is fun lol.
They didn’t expect a fight for power with nature, yet that was what happened.
Sorry if I seem really really picky about sentence structure, but I have a problem with this one too. What if you tried:
They didn't expect a fight for power with nature, yet it was inevitable. Sounds better in my opinion.
Disappear and reappear instantly wherever.
I don't like how that's worded, but I don't really have any suggestions...
The same black tint in the sky which proved the existence of smog cleared up, and all of a sudden city-dwellers could see the baby blue color of the sky rather than the blue-black color of the smog-filled atmosphere.
Seems really long and sorta confusing. I think if you put a period after "smog cleared up", you could do something better with the next sentence.
It also made for strange requests, like at-home births when a birth could take place at virtually any hospital in the world.
Sorry, confusing to me on how it was worded. Though I don't really have any suggestions, but I guess it's just how you worded it.
The home was in a Long Island suburb about forty-five miles east of Manhattan, and the day was 21 December 2319, a little over 27 years after the Coalition’s breakthrough with the transportation system.
I think a period after "Manhattan" is needed, and then you can do something better with the following sentence if you'd like.
A man, presumably the husband of the woman, for he wore a ring on the third finger of his left hand, stood at the head of the bed, pressed against the wall.
Definitely seems like way too many commas in that sentence...
In the home, the baby crowned. Outside the home, the black, star-flecked sky flashed a brilliant white.
I believe you can combine those with a comma after "crowned" and the word
while...
But although they may have missed the astronomical anomaly, only to read about it the next morning on the front page of the paper, many others were not so distracted as to miss such an event.
Starting a sentence with the word "But" equals uncool.
Okay, sorry if this sounds really mean. However, I really can't read anymore of the prologue here. It's really boring in my opinion and it's failing to draw me in. It seems bland and plain, so I definitely think it's something you should work on here. Sorry, but it's really really lacking... So, I'm going to move on past the prologue.
When balance was once again only relatively restored, she glanced around quickly to see if anyone had noticed her close encounter with the ice.
How you started it off throws me completely off. By that I mean it's worded awkwardly and could use some work.
She sighed, cursing the boots she was wearing for their lack of traction.
If Chaos has drilled ANYTHING into my head, it's that the word
was is usually a last resort. You can easily say
the boots she wore and avoid using "was".
Snow meant ice. Ice was slippery.
Snow meant ice, and ice was slippery.
And yet, her boots had no traction.
You started off the sentence with the word "And" which also equals uncool. Maybe say
Yet her boots had absolutely no traction whatsoever.She looked back up toward the building, noticing that even though she’d only taken a dozen small steps, it loomed nearer.
I don't like the word "nearer" there.
Then she realized where he was. Not on the sidewalk, but next to the sidewalk. In the snow.
That entire thing just doesn't flow well, as you can combine some stuff there. I think you should experiment more with that sentence and try and redo it.
Snow wasn’t ice. A person didn’t need much traction to walk in snow.
You can combine these!!! Simply put a comma after "ice" and add in the word "so". Although, it could be redone a bit, such as:
Snow wasn't ice, so a person didn't need much traction to walk through it. Or at least something like that sounds better in my opinion.
A little smile lightened up her face and she looked down, noticing how deep the snow was.
Once again, sentence structure isn't up to par.
A little smile brightened up her face, as she noticed the depth of the snow. Sounds better and flows well.
The deepness hadn’t mattered on the shoveled sidewalks, but off the path, the snow was drifting over two feet.
You can use "depth" instead of deepness which sounds weird. Also, that entire thing sounds awkward and doesn't flow.
Okay, honestly I'm gonna have to stop reading here. It's all really bland, plain, and lacking. I think a big portion of it is the sentence structures that you used. I'm really not finding myself being drawn into this at all, and I'm feeling like it's a chore to be reading it. It needs life, excitement, more feeling. I want it to pull me in and keep me in, read it and can't wait for the next part. I'm really sorry to say that it just fell flat for me...