Timewaster's Guide Archive

I agree with miyabi.  I never want a beard, and I dislike shaving.  They're good for some people though.
As for bear potential going down, a similar thing happened in my dad's family.
My eldest Uncle has a full head of hair, my second uncle is finally almost bald, my dad's been balding since he turned twenty.  Looks like Grandpa and Grandma splurged on Dennis, and realized they didn't have enough hair left for their younger children...
All I can say is, I'm the oldest, and my hairline is similar to my mother's mother's family, and they don't go bald, so here's hoping!

Awesome.  Also I forgot to ask about the timeline.  How many years is this before the events of final empire?  We're not having little Elends, Shans, or Kelsier's running around are we?

How would he look as a blond I wonder....
Great choice though, and Robert Downey Jr. and him could even play convincing brothers I think.
I like Ryan Reynolds for Elend, but he seems too old.
I also vote Anne Hathaway for Shan, either that, or for Mare in the flashbacks.

Will new members be expected to read through old material before creating a character?  Or will the story be starting anew?

Hold on.  I think visiting your northern continental neighbours is far more reasonable than a trip overseas...
Canada first, then Europe!

Thank-you for your honesty.  It did sting a little, but I really appreciated it.  I really respect that sort of honesty, because without it, nothing gets done.

I've often worried about the pushing and pulling being compared to allomancy, however I actually came up with the magic system before reading the books.  As for how the pushes and pulls actually work, I actually pictured it to work quite differently from allomancy, although perhaps that did not come across in the chapter.  An allomancer pushes or pulls metal directly away or directly towards his or her body.  The strength and speed of the object changes based on weight and position, but not on whether or not the allomancer is pushing or pulling.  The way I pictured it, when Aurok-Hal's pull water, it is difficult and slow.  They pull with the hands, so when they pull water around themselves, the water follows their fingers in streams.  The pressure builds as they pull, so that the longer and Aurok pulls, the stronger their eventual push will be.  Pushes are more like what you are used to seeing with allomancy, they usually go directly away from the body, but can still be subtly corrected with hand motions.  It was actually inspired when I was reading a scene a friend wrote about a man breaking into a prison camp.  For some reason I pictured it raining, and then this magic system began coming to me of an Aurok manipulating the waters of the rain.  Originally the magic system was weather based: Aurok-Hon's could manipulate fire when the sky was clear, Aurok-Hals could actually manipulate the weather itself as soon as it began raining (so they could keep it raining, add hail, mist, etc.), and a third type could fly when it was windy.  There were a lot of problems with this magic system however, so I scrapped it.  Also, after scrapping it, I read Brandon's blog and found he already had the idea for weather controlled powers... Doesn't look good for my "I didn't copy allomancy argument," but I'm being honest.  I may have only started putting pen to paper for this story in 2007, but I started planning it a year earlier, before the first Mistborn came out.  Has Brandon's prose affected my writing?  I'm sure that reading his books so much has affected my writing a lot.  But I never meant to copy him.  You could also say reading Neil Gaiman or George R. R. Martin has affected my writing as well I suppose, though Brandon is my favourite author. 
I will end by saying you haven't seen all of this magic system yet.

I wasn't picturing the pin wheeling in an anime type way.  I'm not really a fan of anime.  But you are right, it is like that.  Any suggestions on how I could get a similar movement without the anime imagery?

As for the characters being flat.  I think you are absolutely right.  At this point, when I was writing the story, I was focusing more on getting the plot going.  characterization is something I'm just learning to do.  Although I've read a lot, due to circumstances, I was never able to take any sort of creative writing classes, and now I'm finding all I really know how to write is essays, which sucks, because I really don't like writing essays.  I can only hope that I've developed enough that in my later chapters the characters have begun to develop more from the flat things you see now.  I know it's not a typical way to write, but I haven't revisited some of these earlier chapters for more than a year now.

In your email, your line edits only really pointed out typos and spelling mistakes.  I was wondering if you could give me examples of my grammatical errors so they can be corrected and I can learn from them.  I think I have a really great story to tell, but I often feel while writing that my ability is holding me back.  That's one of the reasons I joined the writing group.

Thank-you for your criticisms.  I take them entirely constructively.  I'm the only writer out of my family and friends, so criticism like that isn't something I get very often.  It is definitely something I need though if I want to continue.

And yes, English is my first and only language   I'm actually an honours english major.
A thought: should I post one of my more recent chapters next, one that I feel is one of my better ones, or should I continue chronologically?

Batman could win even before Vader choked him.  Just use a device that remotely shuts down electronics and Vader is history.
Also for those who say Batman can't kill, we'll just go Dark Knight style batman.  He can definitely kill people.