Timewaster's Guide Archive

*pounces upon haperez from above*

RAAAAAAWR!
*shifty eyes*

*reverse pounce out of the frame*


I'm really going to have to read those some time and see if they're as good/horrible as everyone says. In the meantime, I just finished "Out of the Silent Planet" by C.S. Lewis. Not a recommended read unless you want a poorly constructed sci-fi version of Narnia. Also, rummaging around in the old books I found a copy of "None Dare Call It Conspiracy" by Gary Allen. I'm forcing myself through it, but it's umm... interesting. I really am having a hard time not just throwing it in the trash, but I decided to read the entire thing even if it is an attempt to create a moral panic and anti-communist reaction. It's "non-fiction" (pronounced "sensationalist journalism").

Very nice website and wallpapers. I especially like the job you did on the coins.

Good things first again:

Pacing was great for the most part.
Descriptions were short and sweet. (possibly to a fault)
Dialogue was natural and flowed well.

Bad things:

Second word was a misspelling (lopped vs loped). I wouldn't normally comment on it, but it just jumped out at me and made me more aware of later spelling and punctuation errors.

If you're in a Japanese society, you may want to give more exotic objects Japanese names. Eg. I'm assuming that there's a special word for the type of altar that you mention on the first page. If there is, use that word and it will give you a good reason to give us more information about it. It's a little trick my 7th grade English teacher taught me for fantasy and it has helped me several times. (Note that this paragraph is disobeying Writing Excuses' rule for writing groups #1; don't give suggestions.)

Referring to the named characters as "it" was uncomfortable for me. Actually, I really really hated it. This would be a deal breaker for me on any piece of fiction I picked up. I can't see any sense in making those characters completely genderless. My apologies if it is a significant plot point. I'd prefer to hear the singular "they" or another gender-neutral pronoun. To me, "it" is reserved for inanimate objects or things of unknown gender. Asexual creatures would be in a different category (again, to me). I've read some sci-fi that used the gender-neutral "they" and/or "one" and wasn't nearly so bothered by it. In French, whether you are referring to a worm (which is bisexual but is grammatically a male) or the ocean (obviously asexual, grammatically female), everything is either male or female. In English, standard practice has historically been to call a person that is of indefinite gender a male. Sorry to rant.

I found myself not caring very much about the main character. I cared slightly more about Futsu than the MC.

Going against what I said earlier about Japanese terms, I agree with ryos in that using Japanese honorifics reminds me too much of anime/manga. (Maybe try another language that hasn't been used so much (then again that kinda defeats the purpose of using a somewhat familiar language for people who know a little Japanese) like Chinese. That does present the difficulty (or bonus) of using the translation of "sensei", which is "sifu" and means father literally.)

Unfortunately, you have not sold me on the story with this chapter. I really don't know anything about this world, except that the place the MC is leaving is semi-Japanese and peopled with asexual or bisexual beastmen or demons. I don't know anything about any of the characters, except that the MC is somewhat sentimental, Futsu is resourceful and seemed quite unflappable, and Kanrishoku is generally cold and has the appearance of having at least limited magical powers. AFAIK I still don't know a thing about the plot.

Just so you know, I'm often considered pretty brutal by my real life friends when it comes to critiques. Please do not be offended by my offensiveness. 

Wait, you're that guy?

I suddenly feel out of my league.

Sorry, my browser crashed a while back and I forgot about this thread for a bit.

JadeKnight, there is good KPop, but it's not the same as other Asian pop. Kpop is just a different flavor. In general, Koran music is more closely tied to the European and American music scenes than the countries around them. If you like other Asian pop music, try going to Se7en, DBSK, Super Junior or Girls Generation (SNSD) first. The artists that are biggest in the US (I think) are Rain and BoA, so you might like those as well. It's hard to suggest something not knowing your precise tastes. Message me if none of those hit the spot for you.

I thought that was a wish of death for spoilers, not the people who were spoiling (as evidenced by the "This is to you..."). Then again, perhaps "spoilers" are people who spoil. I do not know, but I do know that Madjius had her share of crazy posts on this here forum in the short time she was with us.

The spoiler thread was created before any spoilers happened, which tells me that we have responsible, considerate people here. Oh, how I wish the rest of the internet was so pleasant. Thank you to The Staff and The Memebers (sic) for making such a great corner of the internet for those of us who don't enjoy... those other sites. *shifty eyes*

Anyone see any anime they would recommend lately? I'll definitely have to give Naruto another chance. It's been over 5 years since I last watched any of it. Fortunately for me, my distance from Dragonball is either coming up on or just past 10 years, though I do have to give it the nod as my first anime. Kinda. I'd watched anime on Saturday mornings, but I never knew that it was different than the other cartoons that aired. Funny how dumb that sounds, innit?

"Screwed" could qualify as an anachronism. Using "screw" like that started some time after screws started to be used in Europe. I'd imagine that the term's slang usage increased as use of actual screws became more common. My super-quick research indicates that using "screw" as slang began in the 16-1700s, but AFAIK it didn't show up often until the late 19th century (soon after screws became readily available to the public). If your society uses screws and has for a while, it's totally cool to use the term as slang.

"D*** straight" is fine to me. I can't see many people using it in fantasy, though Zelazny did use similar phrases in the Amber series. His character was from mid 20th century America . Your setting (if we're talking about Crystalheart here) is gritty enough that I can see people talking like that. I'm guessing that I haven't seen it often because my experience with the genre has been primarily in older high fantasy. The term consists of two pretty common and old words, so I'm not going to even try to find history for it. "Straight" has been used in tons of different ways for ages and people have sworn for just as long, so it seems to me a distinct possibility that even someone from 10th century England used the phrase.

I'm not sure if it's practical to research every slang term, but if you get a comment about it make sure to double-check the term's history. Obviously as writers we don't have the time to double-check the history of every word we use. Well, maybe we do, but I wouldn't like to spend all of my time "checking" (another anachronism) my writing.

An interesting side note: I found that "putting your X on the line" is related to the use of X as a symbol for a kiss, dating back to the Roman Empire. Crazy times.

~금강산도 식후경~

Wait, you know Korean?

I'm a little unfamiliar with the f-word's history, but it has something to do with ice cream cake, right?