Contest: The Band of Gnomes

[Ryan Wiegert]

If the Band of Gnomes desires to play in my Kingdom, they must first survive a trial:

http://www.rrholidayescape.com/

If they can handle the maximum ROCK inflicted by this trial, they are welcome to tour my Kingdom all they want.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

argh.

Unfortunately, since we can't contact you because there is no registered account with a valid email, we have to disqualify Ryan's entry too.

I've been thinking. And I think I would use them as an elite task force to drive my real enemies from the kingdom. Much like the US uses Christina Aguilera.

[Slant]

Two words:  Bear Bating.

Gnome: looks like monchichi, tastes like chicken.

[Spriggan]

Actialy I'll be contacting to 2 people that left post without regestring.  There are e-mails listed but they're not vaildated like when you actualy regester at the forum.  I'm going to clarify that rule on the main page since it seams to be casueing some confusion.  I apologise to any that have misunderstood.

[42]

Let's see. I'd require all of the gnomes to adhere to anti-racism laws that would justly disqualify them from taking any jobs in house-keeping, gardening, landscaping, mechanics, technology, engineering, clerical or entertaiment occupations. Thus, all gnomes would diversify into law-enforcement occupations. There they will quickly be exterminated by drug-lords and crime-bosses.  Thus no more gnomes and it keeps the ACLU happy.  

[Jimmy Cokes]

I'm just pointing out that the rules specifically state that the account has to have a usable email, which means that Jimmy Coke's entry is disqualified. Too bad. Let this be a lesson.

Uh, my email works fine.  [email protected]

What's the issue?

[Jimmy_Cokes]

arright, arright.  I registered.  My entry in now?

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

yeah, sprig pointed out to me that you did have an email, while I was just looking to see if it was an active account. We do still strongly encourage you to register for the forum here so I don't get confused again. I tend to get confused quite frequently, and my current battle with the triple-team threat of sinus infection, exhaustion, and dehydration doesn't help.

Which is exactly my secondary approach: I would inflict them with many small ailments: colds, sinus infection, minor dehydratoin, sun stroke, etc until they got so upset that they formed an HMO to take care of these afflictions with me as the CEO. I would then use the position of power to take over the world by thwarting world leader access to health care.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

yeah, your entry's perfectly in, and I'm not as confused. You wanna Cheeto?

[House of Mustard]

I would embrace the presence of the gnomes, and declare a Gnome Awareness Day, and have a Gnome Studies class at the university that would fill your diversity requirement, and I'd nominate one for city council, and I'd let them have parades, and I'd encourage them to marry my daughters.

And then, while they're sleeping, I'll toss them all into a burlap bag, and sell it to the gypsies. (The gnomes, not my daughters.)

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

what WILL you do with the daughters now separated from their gnomish husbands?

[Master Xaio]

Well, Gnomes always have good musical taste.  Therefore, all I'd have to do is play some of my dad's music; you know, something like Gillian Welch, or Willie Nelson or any other terrible artist.  And not only would they go running, but they would be

a) scarred for life, never able to form a band again
b) so frightened, they'd warn every other gnome they met

Alternatively, I could just send them out to hunt down the bad music of the world, returning only when they were done --> they'd never come back...

[Spriggan]

Thanks to all who entered.  Me and Entropy have allready started to discuss the possible entries.  We'll make an accouncement with in the next few days.

Jeffe if you still want to give your copy away (which you'll have to mail yourself), I recomend you haveing the forum regulars vote on which one they like.

[Entsuropi]

We are pleased to announce that Slant is the winner!

Runners up were : Antiphonus in second place and 42 in third. It reached a deadly Impasse, with much gnashing of teeth and stomping of crisp packets, but eventually we realised that was too much work, and played a game of pool to decide. As ways of breaking an impasse go, it has it's merits. Well done Slant, and our condolences Antiphonus. You lost by 2 balls.

Slant, if you could contact Spriggo at anime AT timewastersguide DOT com, he will arrange the shipping for your brand new goodie. The next competition will take place next month, so stayed tuned.

[Spriggan]

Ehh, if it wasn't for that lousy shot I had after your first scratch the out come could have been different.  

*shakes fist in the air*

I'd like to thank all that entered.  Jeffe might still want to give his copy away, but you'll have to wait till he gets back from England to decide that.