Timewaster's Guide Archive
Games => Role-Playing Games => Topic started by: Slant on July 23, 2004, 09:10:19 PM
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it is official that there is a new D&D film coming out, and that the leads will probably be Vin "Grunt" Diesel and Paris "Please, somebody slap me" Hilton. It will have little to do with the first film and will center on a warrior and wizard's quest to keep an evil mage from awakening a dragon.
Please, haven't we been hurt enough?
Instead of this nonsense we have passing for D&D on the big screen, why can't we just have a good film that reflects what is so much fun about D&D in the first place? A band of explorers delving into a darkened tomb or musty catacombs rife with sinister traps to overcome, strange monsters to fight, and magical treasure to filch. All the while engaged in snappy banter punctuated by sly digs and bad puns.
THAT is what makes so many people keep coming back to the game.
For starters, why not cast actors that have already admitted to an enjoyment of gaming. VIn Diesel IS one, true, but what about Elijah Wood, Robin Williams, Seth Green, and the incredibly hot Jolene Blaylock? All of them would be welcome in a gaming movie, and would likely be able to add the appropriate tone.
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Heh, well Vin is a DnD player so I guess it makes since, but Paris Hilton?
Can you link a news story Slant?
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actually, that sounds very much like a lonely, basement-dwelling nerd gamer fantasy.
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EXACTLY!!!! How many of us adults who are in the hobby started out playing with six 12-year-old kids sitting around somebody's kitchen table scarfing pizza and making Monty Python references while slaying orcs and stealing gold coins.
And it's been months since I've dwelt in a basement.... SO THERE!!
HAH!
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Paris Hilton! Wow, that just garantees the movie as a dud. I think the film-makers must be going for the Golden Rasberry award.
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Then Tom Green must be involved in some manner.
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Tom Green signed on as the film's gaffer.
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Just as long as they don't have him performing lewd acts on a bulette or anything.
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Well, unfortunately, the movie is being made. I just got an email from my sister. She was in Lithuania getting her visa renewed. She went to a castle outside of Vilnius and ran into the production crew for the movie.
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I all truth I don't know whether to laugh at the thought of the stoooopidity of the people who hired Paris, or cry about the foreordained failure of this flick.
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Apparently the director is moping that he got out-geeked by Peter Jackson and is determined to go down in flames.
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42. When you say "go down in flames", I read "Super Nova." Same concept, I guess, just a little more dramatic.
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Well, although it sounds like crap, and probably will be, I didnt like the first one at all. I feel that the maker's of the film have no real knowledge of D&D.
The lead character in the first changed classes four times. He started as a rogue, multi-classed into fighter, at the end knighted and followed a Lawful Good Paladin's role, and at the very end as they all are teleported away, he had to have a few innate levels in Sorcerer...
Yeah, i'm a little over-analytical, but i find it amusing.
The second film is likely to be graphic oriented with a cheesy plot and bad acting, especially the casting of the lead roles...i dont care for either actor.
(Been away for awhile, my computer has been down. Happily, i have returned in pieces.)
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I told a friend about this. His reply when I told him the main actors:
<Maus> so its a porn flick then?
I think that really does sum it all up.
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You know, Vin Deisel's main character (the one whose name is tatooed on his arm) is a half-orc. If he plays a half-orc in the movie it would be a strong blow for racial equality in Hollywood.
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yeah, after all those racist Middle Earth films.
y'know, the fact that he has a character's name tattooed on his arm makes him a bigger dork than even me.
True, a dork that could hurt me easily. But a HUGE dork (in many ways)
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Vin Diesel has half-orc written all over him: literally!
Y'know, most guys just have their wife's name put on their arms.......
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thats so geeky...
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uhh oh, according to the interview on the Conan Obrian show his tattoo is of his Drow witch-hunter not the half orc...
but he admits to playing a half orc so its all good
Vin: But this was before video games. I started playing in the 70s. And, this was, I mean, I could have played Risk, Monopoly, or D&D.
Conan: Right, which was probably the cooler of those games.
Vin: I think, yea.
Conan: And you created a character for youself, didn't you?
Vin: I created a character... No one knows this, but in Triple-X, one of the tattoos, right above my belly-button, or below my belly button, I don't know why I'm saying this *hoots from audience*, was the name Melkor. And that came from a character that I had, uh..
Conan: That you created in Dungeons and Dragons?
Vin: that I created. That was a Drow witch-hunter. Double-specialized witch-hunter. but this is all
Conan: There are so many nerds watching right now who are just thrilled. Cause you're making them cool, suddenly. All these guys are watching going "Go, Vin Diesel, Go! Go!" All hail, Melkor, you know?
audience: *applause and laughter*
Conan: I think that's neat though. See that you did, see that you'll talk about it.
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I will only give the film a shot only if Pairs Hilton is a topless bar winch with no line at all in the film Also when is this filme due to come out.
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are you related to Spriggan?
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They are not related, SE. But they are friends...I think?
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I was just thinking... instead of all this Vin and paris crap, why don't they just get the League of Extraordinary Gamers (vin, Elijah, etc) and film them PLAYING an RPG?
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And then dub over it MST3K style (tee hee hee)
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Would Vin really be caught dead anywhere with Elijah? Even if it did involve gaming?
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I didn't realize he disliked Elijah.
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Cool, and in the next room we could have Robin Williams playing Warhammer.
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Ya Nicadymus, there are actualy 2 new people that have joined the forum for Lincoln.
IF you 2 read this go intorduce yourself here http://www.timewastersguide.com/boards/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=news;action=display;num=1051196804;start=45
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Cool, and in the next room we could have Robin Williams playing Warhammer.
That is the greatest thing ever heard by my mind.
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Like Nicadymus said we are friend with the same twist view of the world and women.
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and spelling.
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Like Nicadymus said we are friend with the same twist view of the world and women.
Ok, knowing now who Rican is, I can make some realy sick jokes.
JERRY!!!!!
(sorry, couldn't help myself. It's been a long time.)
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I have only one thing to say in return JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! JERRY!!!!! and that all I have to say for now
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yes, please do stop.
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Sorry - inside joke and I will stop for now.
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A very funny inside joke too.
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At the expense of my name due to a crazy red head who like boy scout and camping with little kids way to much for a normal guy.
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zing
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Ahhh...Isn't it great to know one can always turn to the red-headed boy scout for a joke/insult? One of the 3 constants in life: (1) Death (2) Taxes (3) Red-headed Boy Scout as a source of jokes, insults, and really annoying puns.
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HA HA HA HA
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hehe, it wouldn't be as bad if the puns were actauly funny.
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I almost forgot how much you people scare me.
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And you shall tremble in the fear that we bring EVOL
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No. No we shall not. EUOL may be afraid of you, but what you fail to realize is that you should be even more afraid of EUOL. Flee for your lives!
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The editorial in the latest issue of Dragon put some spin on the new movie.
It was basically pushing that even if the movie bombed, it will still get D&D talked about and pique interest.
I would think that another bomb would make people less likely to look in on D&D.
Who knows?
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What does EVOL or EUOL mean?
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it's Evil Undead Overlord
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Thanks
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It's your problem now.
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Actualy Gemm is TWG's very own redheaded boyscout, except he's not red headed, nor is he a scout, and his jokes are better. But still, when he started posting here I thought it was the RHBS.
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Actually, according to the conversations you and I had at the time, we simply thought he was a tit.
And I have not a clue what this red boy scout crap is about.
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Once upon a time in a state in the middle of the good old USA, there was this group of characters, consisting of EUOL, Sprig, Rican, Moredew, myself, and a few others who don't chat on the site, including the Red-headed Boy Scout (hereinafter "RHBS") who engaged in various recerational activities ranging from video games and playing RPGs to Placing packets of Taco Sauce on each others cars (each character with varying degrees of involvement in the various activities). RHBS, as you can probably guess, had red hair, and loved being involved with the Boy Scouts of America program. In addition he had the habit of frequently spewing forth obnoxious puns based around every other comment out of someone else's mouth. What you have witnessed in the past few posts is a bit of nostalgia between old friends at the expense of another of said old friends.
Hope that clears it up.
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You 2 need to get Moredew to actualy post here, he registered over a month ago and has yet to post.
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I have tried, but he is busy with school and work, at least those are his excuses.
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not a very good time waster if he's letting responsibility get in the way of posting studiously.
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No kidding. I am going to law school and still keeping my priorities correct by posting regularly. I don't know what is wrong with him.
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Ya, especialy considering he use to be the biggest timewaster out of all of us.
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I known what wrong with Mordew. He's a JERRY!!!
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Say hi to him for me, if you would.
Hum, better phrase that so he'd understand it.
Tell him 'Uh, hi. And stuff.'
(Man. It's strange talking to you guys. I still have trouble believing so many of you are married.)
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Wait one minute I am almost married. I the great and power and beloved Rican are only at the endgame of my single life. I am on the great wide road and long road of life known as engagement.
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You know what Rican, it's only going to go down hill from there. Life as you know it will cease to exist. Say goodbye to video games and frequent gaming. But you can do what I do and fight for your freedom (unless you want sex)! I've learned to fight for these things when the wife's not around. You know what sucks, we've moved into my father in Law's house at the beginning of August and I still haven't unpacked my xbox!
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Oh EUOL.... hi and stuff.
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You poor basterd. I would have unpack that thing as soon as the tv was set in the right place.
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Normally I would have unpacked it, but the kid would have easy access to it and I wouldn't want him to break it. If that were to happen you know I would have to disown him.
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Sucks to be you. They don't have anything against Dew do they? Becasue I think that could be classified as a hate crime. Heck, I haven't even played my PS2 much in the last 6 months or more. Last game I beat was Prince of Persia, and every once and a while I'll hop on and play Street fighter 3. But with Ace Combat 5, and MGS 3 comming out soon I think I'll be playing it more.
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I don't think they have anything against Dew, but it doesn't really matter.... I don't really drink Dew anymore. I only really drink it when we game.... and that's only two or three cans tops.
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Hey now... I happen to know this buy whose parents have a thing against Dew. So I just don't drink it at home...wait. I didn't say that (as he waves his stinger in a Jedi like motion).
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What are you some kinda Jedi? I'm Toydarian. Mind tricks don't work on me.
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Come on Nicadymus, we all know that your parents are the anti-dew nazis
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That may be true, but I have turned to the dark side and moved to another city. I have gone beyond their reach...I think. ???
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Dude, you never be out of reach from your mom. I think she has a built in surveillance system and knows when we "dew" something wrong. You know, the other day she told my wife that I was a punk! Can you believe that?!
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But you are a punk, that's something we've all been telling you for years. ;D
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Gotta go with Sprig on this one
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That may be the case, but it's different when you hear it from a friend's mom. Que lastima.
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You are a punk withno balls
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Oooooooh! If you'll recall in the Forum FAQ Rican, comments like that aren't allowed. :P
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maybe he ment tennis balls? or Golfballs?
Well, this is Rican, so ya, you're right Dew.
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Sorry - I haven't read the info section for this form. I just like give you a hard time. What are friends for..
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No prob. Rican. You know I wasn't serious. I know you just goofing around.