another spam rant

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

yeah, this one has to be seen:
http://www.saintehlers.com/misc/images/email.bmp

Are we having an identity/gender crisis here, Wilbert?

[Spriggan]

Yea I finaly got one of those e-mails from Nigeria wanting me to help him collect moneys.  Here are some highlights of the letter:

I am the Personal Attorney to Engr.. Adams Williams a national of your country, who used to work with
CADBURY NIGERIA LIMITED, On the 21st of April 2000, my client, his wife and their three children were
involved in a car accident along Sagamu / Lagos Express Road.

What the crap? I hope there's a reason he started to type out one name and then corrected himself.  It's like that one SNL with the Rock playing superman.  You think he would have been able to delete Engr.

I contacted you to assist in repartrating the money and property left behind by my client before they get
confiscated or declared unserviceable by the First Atlantics Bank Plc where this huge deposits were lodged.
Particularly, the First Atlantics Bank Plc where the deceased had an account valued at about US$10.5M (Ten Million
Five Hundred Thousand United Stated Dollars).

Thanks for spelling that out for me genious.  I'm tempted to reply and tell him I went a head and contacted that bank (though my attorny Saint Elhers Esquire) and they were more then willing to give me some of Engr..I mean Adam's money.  And that if he goes there and tells them he's Adam's cousin  Jacques Strap they'd give him some of the cash.

[stacer]

I think the Engr. is supposed to stand for Engineer. Like an engineer would have that kind of cash.

[Spriggan]

I thought that too, but there are two '.'s and the fact that my interpertation is funnier is the reason I wrote what I did.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Want to come over for Thanksgiving?

A little early, don't you think, Antoinette Clay?

[Spriggan]

Yea! I'm popular now!

Dearest,
Difficulties encountered in efforts to establish a business
abroad necessitate this search for someone to assist me in
securing and investing the sum of USD45, 000,000
(forty-five million dollars) deposited in an escrow account
in my name with a finance management company in Europe.

This time its from the wife of the ex-phillipiean president.

[fuzzyoctopus]

I just got an email from The Singles Connection who is inviting me to  Meat Someone Special.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

special people should always be meated. It makes the un-special among us feel more important.

[fuzzyoctopus]

From: Lucas King
Subject: dust bunny 639 necromancers

I was curious.  So I looked in the email.  This is the entire text.  No links, nothing.

"When you see girl scout about clodhopper, it means that anomaly inside hides.Any earring can pour freezing cold water on cab driver behind, but it takes a real steam engine to bowling ball around boy.When submarine over tomato dies, behind widow reads a magazine.When inside fruit cake is lowly, defined by insurance agent fall in love with wedding dress related to bubble.fighter pilot assimilate lunatic for tape recorder.
castor topography excuse episcopalian tomato caribbean"

Again, I say  o_O

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

scan for viruses.

[Spriggan]

Hurm, necromatic dustbunnies, now that's cool.

[fuzzyoctopus]

scan for viruses.

Did that. If there was one, it was removed from the message for me.  So instead it's now just humor.

[House of Mustard]

Drat.  My one "clean" account has suddenly been infected.  It makes me mad.  The cool thing, though, is that the only spam I'm getting is advertising cigarettes (actually, it calls the "smokes", which is kind of neat.)

[fuzzyoctopus]

Subject: Re: in his arms, dislocated

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

19-year old fully naked bovine

er... no thanks, I don't swing that way.