Wow, it feels like a long time since I last read a Crystalheart chapter, and I gotta say, it's nice to finally read one again.
Regarding Aermyst and his whole scene:
I personally loved the overall feel of that scene. I do agree that it got a bit tiring reading about how awesome Dantes was and such, you have 180 words and 3 paragraphs dedicated to telling how good Dantes used to be. Although I liked it,I think it could be condensed a bit.
But I loved the imagery of Aermyst on the bridge, I love your world with its spires of glass and ethersteel hundreds of feet in the air, I love reading about the setting on every one of your chapters.
About the suicidal thing...I am one of the few who liked that. Wcarter said that it was too rushed and that nobody thinks of suicide lightly, but, in my mind, Aermyst has most likely been considering suicide in the back of his mind since his heartcrystal was taken. I mean, his soul is gone. That really came across here how he feels because of it. How empty and alone and powerless he is without it. I love the characterization here. I loved it even more when Aermyst decided not too, how he reasoned that he was stronger than that. I think that it is somewhat of a character defining scene. But I don't think anyone else shares my opinion about that. Overall, if you do want to cut this scene, you definitely should still get his thoughts and musings about Dantes and life and such into other chapters, and maybe even have a different time to comtemplate suicide, because that scene felt very raw and just good characterization. But I think you should keep it.
About Marlin:
Although it was a little unclear at first about what happened to Marlin and such, I think that it became fairly obvious to the reader about the basics of how he got into the Sacramency. But it was a little 'out there', I think that maybe in a previous chapter actually have Aermyst talking to Trelawney or someone to get him enrolled. Marlin has been out of my mind for the last few chapters, and I think that you might want to go back and add him in a bit just to remind of us another main character.
I also thought that the dialogue was realistic enough and the interaction between the boys was good.
I have one big problem though, I do not like how you named the professor Professor Trelawney. I normally like all names and don't care if they were in other books, but I mean, I can't help but think of Harry Potter when her name is mentioned. That drew me out of your world, which didn't make me very happy.
I also thought that she seemed a little too much out to get Marlin. I like the whole trying to get him to fail and such, but I felt she came across as too mean, and to me, it didn't seem to fit her character(I know we havn't really met her yet or anything, but it just didn't seem to work), I would say you could tone it down a notch. Not sure how you could though...maybe stop her from smiling so much, the smiles seemed creepy and way too cold. Anyways, it still works, and I still liked that scene, because the dramatic irony, you could see what was happening to him, and his cluelessness to it all. Love it.
Okay, so last words now. Good chapter, not one of my favourites though, because not much seemed to happen in it. I would have liked it to be a little longer, maybe set up Marlin going into the school with some more detail, some small conflict early on for him to deal with, something like that. But it was still quite good. I like where this is going.
Now, I have some crazy theories about your book that I'm going to write, because in my mind, every author loves it when they see someone theorizing
1. Marlin's intense studying will bring him the answer to how to get Aermyst's soul back, as well as stuff about the relics and the ancient civilization.
2. Aermyst will ignore what Marlin tries to tell him, will do his own thing and fail.
3. Tristan is actually the Tian guy who got his soul stolen 200 years ago, and isn't actually dead.
4.The super powerful guy who took Aermyst's and Dantes' souls is also the guy who had taken Tian's soul then.
5. Some huge catastrophe is going to happen or some army is going to invade or something(this also has to do with the relics and the ancient civilization), and that is way Zael(is that his name?it's something with a 'Z') told Aermyst that they are saving the world.
That's all the theorizing I have for now, hope it amuses you somewhat. Thanks for your submission!