A highly amusing story about BYU

[House of Mustard]

So, a national sports magazine (I don't remember the name) was doing a special Team Preview edition for college football this fall.  For Key Offensive Player, it lists Matt Payne, the punter.

For those of you who don't watch a lot of football, you only punt when you realize that you can't go any further, and you need to get rid of the ball.  And this guy is the Key Offensive Player?

(Granted, he's extremely good, and he is also the guy who kicks field goals.  But it still says a lot about BYU's expectations this year.)

[EUOL]

I was told by sports-types that the punter is usually considered one of the very most important players on the team.  He usually scores more points than any other single player, and teams will sacrifice a lot to get a good punter.

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

Has Homsar been derelicted? Will there be no stop to EUOL's rampage? Find out this and more, to less frightening answers on Jeopardy!

[fuzzyoctopus]

A+

I like that poem better than your other recent ones.

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

what in the world are you talking about Fuzzy? And whom are you addressing? And where's the poem? Honestly, you lost someone somewhere.

[fuzzyoctopus]

I was joking.  The point was supposed to be that your post about Homsar and EUOL's rampage and Jeopardy was as random and non-sensical as the poems you've been posting under the "New Hit Single" thread, but that this one amused me more.

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

To explain to you about those in a different thread I will. (Until I am discovered and moved.)

Those were just thoughts that came to me at work yesterday and I had to write them down.

"Non-Sequitors" is just that. The first two stanzas actually stand together. Then the third one is a different thought, and the fourth and fifth stand together but are more or less just a palindrome of each other (albiet a very bad one). The sixth stanza tries to close on Cornelius Brown.

Unrelenting Thing was more of a "Can I write a poem using those R sounds?" And I mostly did. But when I tried to come up with more, it gave me the Non-Sequitors.

Ring Ring Ring was supposed to go with Unrelenting Thing, but turned out it worked better alone. It's mostly about a guy getting angry at his phone and throwing it out a window.

BYU has a football team?

[fuzzyoctopus]

Yeah they have a football team.  Some years they're really good and other years they're really good until they lose players when they get arrested for getting drunk or trying to rape someone or beat up someone.

[42]

Yes, unlike UC Boulder (and many other universities), BYU has a zero-tolerance policy with regards to its football players.

[stacer]

Has Homsar been derelicted? Will there be no stop to EUOL's rampage? Find out this and more, to less frightening answers on Jeopardy!

Speaking of Jeopardy, my good friend whose bridal shower I was at tonight just told us that she knows someone famous.

"Who?" we of course asked.

And she said that she went to high school with Ken in Korea. They were in Mutual together, etc.

Small world.

[EUOL]

The Mormon world has always been small.  

[Maxwell]

the mormon world my be small but their families are large, or so I've ben told.

[Peter Ahlstrom]

I was sad to read that BYU's record consecutive no-shutout games streak came to an end last year. Sucky.

[House of Mustard]

It not only came to an end, but it was the U of U that ended it.  It was a sad day.

EUOL, I'll agree that a kicker is an important player, but the magazine wasn't listing the other teams' kickers--it was talking about their quarterbacks and running backs and wide recievers.  Saying that the punter/kicker is your best offensive asset is quite an insult.

Because, while the kicker may be the highest scorer, he only has three basic functions:  
1) Kicking extra points (which requires very little skill, and only gets you one point).
2) Kicking field goals (which you only attempt once you've decided a touchdown is impossible).
3) Punting the ball (when neither a touchdown or a field goal is possible).

If the punter is your best weapon, it means that touchdowns are going to be few and far between.