Hey, perfect timing. I was wondering what to critique, and you just sent this out. Cool. I do remember bits and pieces of Citadel of Thorns (I think I read that one's prologue and chapter one), so opening with the Black Rose's viewpoint, I kind of knew what to expect. I knew Black Rose was going to be the villain, essentially, and I figured as this was the prologue, it wouldn't end too well for her.
I like the fact that we are essentially from the villain's viewpoint. It's an interesting concept, for certain. I also like that there is no infodumping. I guess there sort of is, by describing Wisteria, but it's describing a change in Wisteria and her betrayal. Very good. I also like the more subtle clues about the worldbuilding. The line that comes to mind is "Black Rose felt a pang of disappointment, no goddess waited beyond the insistent pull of this Path." I like it.
I thought it odd that we started with a scene of action, but Black Rose's Wanderer is doing most of the action. I was very happy to see Black Rose become a more active participant.
I get that Black Rose is being betrayed, but I wanted to understand why a bit more. She's an interesting character, so I almost want more time to get to know her. Yes, I know it's a prologue, but I want to connect with her better.
I'm grasping the basics of the magic system fairly easily, though that could be because I vaguely recall the Paths from before. However, despite the fact that I know the basics, I think the submission's greatest flaw is that the ending comes up out of nowhere.
Meaning, we get to know what Black Rose is doing, with this negative energy thing, and that's cool. But ultimately, it doesn't matter, because the other shamans conjoin their Paths and just... win. The whole negative energy Path didn't even faze whatever it was her opponents were doing. I guess I just want more drama. I want to feel Black Rose's struggle against her betrayers. Heck, it seems as though her own loyalists betray her at the least minute. Give me more of Black Rose's struggle.
I guess that means I want more of a fight scene, but you don't need a fight scene, necessarily, especially when we have a lot of magic being thrown around and we don't know the deep details of the magic yet. But still, the total amount of the fight starts with this sentence: "The negating tendrils of her new power sneaked to the fine particles in the air" and it ends that paragraph. Her negative tendrils sort of fail, and I don't understand why.
So, either I need to know the reason why her power was ineffective, or I need that clash of forces to be more dramatic. We have ultimately powerful, forbidden combining of the Paths, with that equally horrifying negative power. These are ludicrously powerful things, I gathered, and I need it to feel more epic. Doing so, I think, would make the promise of the scene--that the villain is going to get imprisoned--and to fulfil it in a dramatic way.
That's my only real complaint with this piece. In other thoughts, I am hoping we get more Black Rose viewpoints, because I really do want to know more about her.