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Messages - jjb

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31
Brandon Sanderson / Re: Sex and sexuality in the Mistborn series...missing?
« on: January 26, 2009, 04:48:43 AM »
So how much sexuality do you think there will be in A Memory of Light? Jordan never wrote sex scenes (he just talked about them afterwards, like with Rand and Aviendha, or by saying that Rand felt a burning flame of passion) but he did have a lot of ogling, especially with Mat.

32
Brandon Sanderson / Re: Religion in Mistborn and Elantris --AML do-over (SPOILERS)
« on: January 23, 2009, 07:15:30 PM »
darkxbane-Where in the post was I lashing out? And where was I stereotyping Mormons? Is it where I said, "Of course, you and Sanderson and every other Mormon on this board won't see any irony in that and I've probably just made enemies." All I meant by that is that is that they believe most of what Emmaleem said about Joseph Smith and all the stuff connected with him, so I assumed they wouldn't see the irony in that(though apparently they do).

And sorry for assuming he/she is Mormon. I assumed that attending the Association for Mormon Letters probably means he/she is Mormon.

33
Brandon Sanderson / Re: Religion in Mistborn and Elantris --AML do-over (SPOILERS)
« on: January 23, 2009, 07:26:09 AM »
I love the irony of you calling Mormonism, Christianity in its original form and then talking about Hrathen who was so devout and yet so blind. Of course, you and Sanderson and every other Mormon on this board won't see any irony in that and I've probably just made enemies.


I think Sanderson said that since he is writing fantasy, he doesn't try and emulate real-world religions in the religions of his books. Of course, he could have unconsciously created Sazed's situation fairly similar to Joseph Smith's(so you say).

34
Reading Excuses / Re: 1 - 19 - 09 - jwdenzel - The Gates of Heaven: Prologue - Ch. 1
« on: January 22, 2009, 11:35:44 PM »
If the words are that close, then readers will probably be put off by it. (Either because they are offended by the real-world word or because they would prefer you to just use the real word.)

If you were to do phrases, like WoT's "blood and bloody ashes", which are not obvious spin-offs of real-world phrases then the swearing will flow much more naturally.

35
Brandon Sanderson / Re: WOT Help
« on: January 21, 2009, 12:05:31 AM »
I just want to remind everyone that JoeC is reading this for the first time. So even though you might not mean them to be spoilers, just things like saying Egwene goes to Salidar are small spoilers even if JoeC doesn't know what they mean right now.

36
Reading Excuses / Re: 1 - 19 - 09 Reaves, Crystalheart: Ch. 5
« on: January 20, 2009, 05:05:17 AM »
I was just reminded of some other things I noticed:

1) Another strange dialogue thing was that he killed the guy and then he begged the gang to help him. I'm pretty sure begging would ruin his fearsomeness even if he did just kill a guy.

2) Also in that fight scene, there was a line that said Aermyst's blood formed a ball on the tip of his finger and when it fell and hit the ground it shattered into a thousand pieces. Since nothing else was mentioned of that I would assume that it was just to create an image in our minds, but when I was reading it I thought maybe it was a weird ability/attribute of the Soulless. If it was something of significance, it should probably mentioned at least one more time in this chapter.

37
Reading Excuses / Re: 1 - 19 - 09 Reaves, Crystalheart: Ch. 5
« on: January 19, 2009, 08:10:35 PM »
Agree with Frog for the whole concept stuff, so I'm going to point out a few minor things I saw;

1. Grammar, sentences with missing words, etc. This chapter really really needs to be edited.
2. There was some line like "Barbers are the physicians" that the girl said to Aermyst. Now if barbers are what we would call physicians, then why would they be called barbers? I understand that you're saying barbers cut hair and also mend any injuries people come to them with, but the setting you've given us doesn't seem like a world that would use the word "physician". And if there are no physicians besides the barbers, I don't think the people would think of the barbers as physicians. They would just think that being a barber meant they could cut hair and mend any injuries.
3. I guess this isn't minor, but this whole chapter seemed awkward to me. The way Aermyst and the 'gang' were interacting with each other. Their actions were believable, but the dialogue wasn't. And Aermyst's reaction with the girl was also awkward. Not a "oh no, they're breaking up" awkward, but a "there's no way they would be interacting that way" awkward.

I'm glad you think chapters 2-5 are your worst (how many have you already written?), because I loved ch. 1 and I thought everything about it was great. From ch. 2, though, it all went downhill. I'm semi-interested in the plot and whether Aermyst is going to defeat the big evil bad guy, but that interest in Aermyst is all carried over from the first chapter.

38
Brandon Sanderson / Re: RE Entertainment signs deal with EA
« on: January 19, 2009, 07:19:29 PM »
Really? Ten of thousands of fan web sites?

39
Brandon Sanderson / Re: A Memory of Light
« on: January 14, 2009, 05:46:42 PM »
Is it because of the Bowl of the Winds or because Elayne did that whole unweaving the gateway thing that channelers have difficulty in that part of the world?

40
Brandon Sanderson / Re: What's a good follow up to Mistborn? THoA Spoilers.
« on: January 13, 2009, 10:09:36 PM »
And don't forget about Warbreaker. If you want to read the actual book, you'll have to wait until June but otherwise you can read it online.

41
Howard Tayler / Re: Schlock Mercenary arrives at TWG!
« on: January 12, 2009, 04:36:32 PM »
Welcome to TWG, though I would be very surprised if you hadn't wasted many hours here before.

42
Brandon Sanderson / Re: A Memory of Light
« on: January 10, 2009, 02:40:50 PM »
The fox chasing two ravens... I think the fox would represent Mat, something to do with the Aelfinn or whatever they're called.  The two ravens could be both the Seanchan and the Dark One. So Mat is chasing the Seanchan(Tuon) and hunting the Dark One(or anyone associated with him) or something like that.

As for Perrin's hammer and axe I think choosing the axe would have meant he enjoyed killing and that would cause his destruction. But by choosing the hammer he was saying that he didn't like violence and he was only fighting when he was needed.

43
Reading Excuses / Re: Ascension, Chapters 3 & 4 12/29/08
« on: December 30, 2008, 02:06:34 AM »
5000 words is a bit long, you probably should have done only one chapter.


I didn't really like the fighting scene. To me, it seemed to take much too long. Raven seems much more powerful than however long it took him to kill the thirty guards. And at the slow rate he was killing them, it seemed to me like they should have injured him more.

I still don't like such an anger-filled character being so important. I guess we're seeing some different sides to him.

44
Reading Excuses / Re: Fateshapers Ch.2 - 12/29/08
« on: December 30, 2008, 01:26:23 AM »
Yeah, I'm still unsure about their ages and whether they'd be able to fight so well at those ages. Also, you would think a sword found on an archaeological dig would be in a museum, not in the house of the digger.

And towards the end Dani(or whatever her name is) sighed when the spear missed Lias. Sighing implies disappointment unless you say sighed in relief or something like that. But at the speed a spear flies, she shouldn't have had time to sigh before the spear hit Fuei anyway.

45
Reading Excuses / Re: Crystalheart Ch. 3
« on: December 30, 2008, 01:04:17 AM »
Did you change the name of the heartcrystal to soulstone? In the middle of this chapter I think Aemeryst referred to the heartcrystal as a soul stone once, but then he went back to calling them heartcrystals.

I also thought the snake scene was strange. I guess you wanted to use it to set the setting before Aemeryst woke up and to indicate that he was alive and weak, but the shift didn't work very well. Either take it out or find a way to transition to him better.

I actually liked this chapter better than chapter 2 because of the lack of action. Instead of fighting everyone he saw, Aemeryst's story is actually moving along quite nicely. I think I'm starting to get into his character, but his thoughts still aren't entirely believable. i.e, when he kept grieving over his best friend, I didn't feel his pain at all.

That's it right now. I like your story, but I don't believe the characters entirely yet.

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