Timewaster's Guide Archive
General => Everything Else => Topic started by: Entsuropi on June 25, 2003, 02:00:38 PM
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Post any quote that strikes your fancy.
"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling, which thinks that nothing is worth war, is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."
John Stuart Mill, the British philosopher and economist, penned these words in 1859, in anticipation of the coming war in America over the issue of slavery.
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From Tycho, bless his foul-mouthed little heart.
I know now the dark depths and dizzying highs of true fandom, and don't pants with me about this because I've got a nine hundred page hardcover in my grip. I'll bat your head clean off and start running for first.
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another one from Tycho
The Craptacualr makes its home in high forests and dines mostly on fish and psychotropic plants. They are poor spellers and are mystified by commas.
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Ray Barone:
You know when you're growing up and you think your dad's Superman? ANd then you grow up and you realize he's just a guy. . . in a cape. . .
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"Fate (only) protects fools, little children, and ships named Enterprise." - Unknown
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monte cook refering to D&D 3.5
A few weeks ago, in an interview at gamingreport.com I said that 3.5 was motivated by financial need rather than by design need -- in short, to make money rather than because the game really needed an update. I said that I had this information from a reliable source.
That source was me. I was there.
See, I'm going to let you in on a little secret, which might make you mad: 3.5 was planned from the beginning.
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One bit of Christianity i actually like:
<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.
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That's awesome.
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<Vod> Oh Baracus, who was in 'Nam, Mr. T be thy name. Thy van will come with Face and Hannibal, on Earth as it is on TV-Land.
<Vod> Give us this day, our daily milk, and pity us fools, as we pity the fools who cross us.
<Vod> Lead us not into airplanes, and deliver us from Murdock. For thine is the Mohawk and the Van, and the Gold Chains, forever, or at least until the mid-80's. Amen.
For all you MrT affiacandos.
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"Canada is like a loft apartment above a great party"
--Robin Williams
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No one is so offended by the self-important as the self-righteous, yet nothing so offends the self-righteous as not offending anyone.
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The Constitution of the United States isn't perfect, but its a lot better than what we have now.
This is on Mike Shapiro's Yahoo! profile page, but I'm not sure who said it.
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I'll admit the chances to get a constitutional referendum to have a King of the United States drafted and passed in time are very slim. Our actual plans are to raise awareness in 2004 and target 2008 for the real quest for the White House. The big thing is to deny Cthulhu from rising out of the ocean and devouring us all before then
Peter Corless of Green Knight Publishing on King Arthur's bid for "King" of the U.S.
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Wargaming is like a Facehugger. Inject the egg when the target is young, and when the time is right (social situation, disposable income, free time) the horrible, homicidal alien bursts forth from their chest in a frenzy of wargaming.
Get them into the hobby before puberty. Wait for them to go through puberty and they will be back. It's planting the seeds from the future, and although it looks like the seed withers and dies, it is like the seamonkey eggs. Some will hatch when you add them to the water. Others will only hatch if you allow all the water to evaporate, then add more water.
So, wargaming is either like Gieger's Alien, or Seamonkeys, depending on your mood.
- Comment posted by a historical wargamer during a discussion of the hobby.
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[13:34] EntropyTWG: just think! With the power of the internet your children and fells children can talk online and discuss how much they like the / key
[13:35] SaintEhlers: heheh
[13:35] EntropyTWG: it would be like Gargamel and Fastcar17, only more intelligent
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Gemm0987: I dunno, I'm writing a reply to Homsar about his book.
EntropyTWG: you know, this is kinda funny really
EntropyTWG: i ****ed up the forum
Gemm0987: ass
EntropyTWG: nobody else has done that, i'm special
*** Gemm0987 is trying to send you "ass.gif".
*** You have received C:\My Documents\Charlie\ass.gif.
EntropyTWG: a subject you as most familiar with, i take it?
Gemm0987: Sure
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Altered for reasons. -- Gemm
Altered for other reasons. -- Fellfrosch
Monkeyturds and Fleshed Frog Guts. -- Gemm
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OI! YOU! NO!
And your code was broken.
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Incidentially, what was actually said was...
EntropyTWG : if it was exploitation now, chances are he would have felt her up and then woken her
EntropyTWG : the author has issues i think
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"Hey," said Shadow. "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are."
The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes.
"Say 'Nevermore,'" said Shadow.
"F*** you," said the raven. It said nothing else as they went through the woodland together.
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That's amusing, I just finished American Gods a couple weeks ago.
That Gaiman fellow sure is creative.
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I just rewatched time bandits what a great movie!!
Evil One (David Warner) When I have the map, I will be free, and the world will be different, because I have understanding.
Robert (Derek Deadman) Understanding of what, master?
Evil One: Digital watches. And soon I will have understanding of videocassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being! God isn't interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time: forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!
Robert Slugs.
Evil One: Slugs! He created slugs! They can't hear, they can't speak, they can't operate machinery. If I were creating the world, I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would've started with lasers, eight o'clock, day one.
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I thought I'd dust this one off.
EUOL: "You don't shoot your friends that often."
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George Gordon Lord Byron
He who ascends to mountain-tops shall find
The loftiest peaks most wrapt in clouds and snow;
He who surpasses or subdues mankind
Must look down on the hate of those below.
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Headline--The Onion
"God Grants John Ritter's Wish To Meet Johnny Cash"
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heh, that's a good one.
You look down. Should I do the cheese dance to make the cheese clouds rain great amounts of cheeeeese?
... did I mention there was cheeeeeeeeese?
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Thank you, Fell, for this one:
He walked away, but I knew we were both thinking the same thing: holding a gun show and a jewelry show in the same expo center on the same day is asking for trouble, and putting 500 desperate gamers in the middle is only going to make it worse. If anybody hits the trade table offering a real diamond in exchange for a Mox Diamond, we’ll know that the expo center’s social experiment has gone horribly wrong.
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"You thought, as a boy, that a mage is one who can do anything. So I thought, once. So did we all. And the truth is that as a man's real power grows and his knowledge widens, ever the way he can follow grows narrower: until at last he chooses nothing, but does only and wholly what he must do..."
Ursula K. LeGuin, A Wizard of Earthsea
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Well, folks, there you have it. A day in the life of a superhero and his sidekick. It's a very long day, the tights are uncomfortable; I think we covered that before. Map light, convenient and essential. A lot of working of villain motifs. Crime has a Bossa Nova beat. Leap before you look. Remember denouement. Other French words: inconvenient, nonessential... oh... I could go on and on... But time's a-wasting and evil's out there making hand-crafted mischief for the swap meet of villainy. And you can't strike a good deal with evil. No matter how much you haggle! We don't need to look for a bargain; goodness is cheap because it's free, and free is as cheap as it gets. Cut! What was that pig about?!
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"These are seem a little short. And they're kind'a cold. I think pants would be more practical."
"Pfft! pants are for girls! Look... No self-respecting superhero has a boy sidekick wearing anything else, but SHORT shorts! They are a symbol of our purely platonic partnership! Otherwise, the public might think that we're GAY!!
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You're not.. gay. Are you?"
"I don't think so. Are you?
"NOPE! I'm all man! I even fought in WWII! Although, confidentially.. I was wearing pink panties under my uniform.
....
GOTCHA!!"
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
"But that would have felt nice."
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The Scots (originally Irish, but by now Scotch) were at this time inhabiting Ireland, having driven the Irish (the Picts) out of Scotland; while the Picts (originally Scots) were now Irish (living in brackets) and vice versa. It is essential to keep these distinctions clearly in mind (and verce visa).
-Sellar and Yeatman, 1066 and All That
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<Tirlas> I remember the dream vividly... I don't know how to express it :-(
<Schroe> My suggestion is to use words and phrases in English grammatical structure.
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Another great one from The Onion:
"Schwarzenegger Elected First Horseman Of The Apocalypse"
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EntropyTWG: do you ever go offline? You seem to be permanently online :|
Gemm0987: I'm on broadband. No need for me to get off
Gemm0987: anywho, I have to go touch myself
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I've said it many, many times. The only thing better than porn is cartoons. The only thing better than cartoons is cartoon porn.
Seriously, the first time I saw some dirty rendering of Disney characters getting it on, I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. Maybe I did pee myself and the experience was so traumatic I blocked it from my mind forever.
Bill, a guy from my Star wars clan, posted to the anime board.
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I'm not sure if its from somewhere special, but one of my friends had this as an away message.
I'm waiting for the aqueduct to come and see me at my windmill...
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Eric: I'm Such a Nerd
Mike: Yes, you are
Eric: yeah, well, I'm writing this roleplaying game
Megin: That sounds so dirty
<laughter>
Eric: "I'll be the ninja!"
Megin: "I'll be the French Maid!"
Mike: I'll be the pizza delivery boy.
<descent into disgusting jokes>
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This one was from Jason (Mr. M) at TLE on Tuesday.
"It's a good thing men don't understand women, because women understand women and they hate each other."
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My wife confided in me the other day that women don't actually understand other women. In fact, she said, no one understands women.
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So the ancient advice gnothi seauton only applies to half the species?
I guess that's possible. I mean, it was a man who said it in the first place.
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HoM, I think that we don't understand ourselves ALL the time, but women definitely understand women better than men do.
I don't think there's any argument on that factor. I do like the quote though. How many times have I hated someone's girlfriend just because I knew what she was up to?
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No one understands women for a good reason. To understand something, it needs to be a logical system, and that requires at least a bare semblence of consistancy. Woman aren't consistant, women are a mass of randomness that make the order the tetris blocks will fall look predictable.
Forgive me, I've been studying Euripides Medea.
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Yeah, that play'll really lift up your spirits.
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No one understands women for a good reason. To understand something, it needs to be a logical system, and that requires at least a bare semblence of consistancy. Woman aren't consistant, women are a mass of randomness that make the order the tetris blocks will fall look predictable.
Forgive me, I've been studying Euripides' Medea.
Whoa! I think it's going a bit far to generalize and say that all women have no consistency just from reading one play--which, I might add, was written by a man.
Granted, some of my sisters of the species aren't the most logical. And women tend to think circularly and to regard community more than one-on-one, while men tend to think more linearly. That doesn't mean that women aren't logical. It means that our logic isn't linear, which is just a different kind of intelligence.
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stacer, I don't think he was being serious...
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He better not have been, or I will light him on fire too.
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I've just been more prone to making fun of women since I got married and realize how irrational I act sometimes.
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You mean you all can RECOGNIZE how irrational you are? Why don't you DO anything about it?
And on that note, I don't base my belief in the fundamental irrationality of women on a single play. I base it on my entire experience with the opposite gender.
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You see it as a problem, Saint. They see it as a tool to advance their nefarious designs.
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For the same reason that men don't do anything about fragile egos and their agressive tendancies.
It's more fun this way. ;D
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hey, don't get started on aggressive tendencies. YOU'RE the one setting people on fire around here.
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I'm trying to test the bonds of stereotypes.
Okay, this is denerating into stupidity, or has already done so.
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you're just trying to use your feminine wiles to escape. Well it won't work! We're on to you!
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Don't you wish! I don't have to escape 'cause I'm immune. 8)
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ooo... thanks for the idea. That one will come back to bite you! </vague threat about something coming>
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Walked right into that one, didn't I.
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You have no idea what you've walked into. <evil cackle>
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::)
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(This is from the Addams Family. They were showing how Gomez and Morticia got married.)
Preacher: "Are you sure you want to marry this man?"
Morticia: "Oh yes!"
Fester: "But you've only known him for a few days."
Morticia: "What better way to get aquainted?"
Actually it's funnier if you live in Utah.
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My favorite Addams Family quote is when Morticia decorates the neighbor's house.
"And the drapes: black. The ceiling: black. The carpets: black. The furniture: black. The wallpaper: Midnight blue. For contrast."
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hahaha
Whoever came up with the whole Gomez concept gets kudos in my book. He's the best.
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That would be Charles Addams, who created the characters and the original cartoon/comic.
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Morticia, again, on Goldilocks:
"Trust a blonde to bring on trouble!"
*laughs evily*
(for those of you who don't know me in real life, I'm a blonde.)
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"Hi Curly! Kill anyone today?"
"Day ain't over yet."
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PaladinJammer (7:48:43 PM): I am, just lazy. I want a shortcut
Gemm0987 (7:49:01 PM): =P
Gemm0987 (7:49:20 PM): I was that way too, but then google showed me the light. Do you not want to see the light brother Paladin!?
PaladinJammer (7:49:30 PM): Why does every site assume I want a cookie?
PaladinJammer (7:49:44 PM): Um...I don't like light. It makes my monitor hard to see
Gemm0987 (7:49:57 PM): BEcause the cookies are a sign! A sign from the higher ups!
PaladinJammer (7:50:31 PM): The sysadmins you mean?
Gemm0987 (7:50:48 PM): No! I mean Al Gore! The father almighty!
PaladinJammer (7:51:20 PM): Al Gore...like the guy who didn't get into parliament or something?
PaladinJammer (7:51:25 PM): I don't follow US politics
Gemm0987 (7:51:39 PM): No, he is the Creator!
Gemm0987 (7:51:46 PM): Of our self-beloved internet!
PaladinJammer (7:52:06 PM): If you mean the web, I think you're thinking of Tim Berners-Lee
Gemm0987 (7:52:25 PM): Lies! Blasphemy!
Gemm0987 (7:52:35 PM): Begone foul demons!
Gemm0987 (7:53:05 PM): Heh, ok. I'm done playing preacher.
PaladinJammer (7:53:07 PM): Gemm, you are certainly one of the more interesting people I have ever talked to.
Yeahhh, I'm insane, I'm different, I have a mind in my mind!
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"Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash." ~Sir Winston Churchill
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<Samurai> She isn't forcing anyone! she haven't asked them of nothing½!
<enisoc> how the hell do you type a ½ symbol by accident??
That's just too funny.
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"In every profession one must get used to some idiot questions, and it is better to be a Shakespearian than a proctologist."
-Peter Saccio, director, actor, producer, and scholar
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"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made."
I bet no one will ever be able to guess where thats from! :P
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Considering it made no sense at all, I'd guess it came from your brain.
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Charlie and the chocolate factory?
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No, Family Guy! From the episode on sunday.
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<LoneGamer> <LoneGamer's little brother> Hitler is cool!
<Gemm> He's right you know.
<Gemm> But I think he meant, Hitler WAS cool.
<Gemm> Seeing as how he's dead.
<Gemm> What I want to do is get my degree is Hitler-psycosis.
<Gemm> Of course, no one knows this.
<Gemm> And so, whispered the trees, I will eat it.
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I don't find it terribly amusing ot joke that Hitler is or was cool.
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"Beware the groove!"
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<Entsuropi> http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/av.html
<Entsuropi> woo! britain, colonial power
<Entsuropi> we have lots of stuff like that, silly little islands in the atlantic we still own
<Entsuropi> we should use those islands to build a super army of droids or something and invade africa
<Entsuropi> i mean, hell, 20 british soldiers with guns could conquer most of africa
<Entsuropi> kenya is guarded by like 3 men and a dog
<DarkSheep> from an island in the carabbean ?
<Entsuropi> we are a maritime power! :P
<Entsuropi> we will work something out
<Entsuropi> :P
<Entsuropi> oh all right, lets invade mexico then
<Entsuropi> be fun to see how the yanks work that one out
<DarkSheep> "Anguilla has few natural resources, and the economy depends heavily on luxury tourism, offshore banking, lobster fishing, and remittances from emigrants. "
<DarkSheep> what a great place to own
<Entsuropi> rofl
<DarkSheep> Illicit drugs:
<DarkSheep> transshipment point for South American narcotics destined for the US and Europe
<Entsuropi> but we could put nukes there and nobody would ever know!
<DarkSheep> truly a great island
<Entsuropi> :P
<DarkSheep> "Coal mining is the major economic activity on Svalbard." At least we can use our empire for something
<DarkSheep> and we piss off the russians at the same time
<Entsuropi> coal? o_o
<Entsuropi> fair enough
<Entsuropi> but you cant invade mexico from it can you?
<Entsuropi> all islands have to be rated on their ability to be used as bases for invading mexico
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Your quotes are too long to read, kid.
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Just read the last line then :)
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I have always found it amusing that the British - particularly the English - have always perceived themselves as a fairly peaceful lot and yet somehow, in their civilized and decent way, they found it unfortunately necessary to conquer one-quarter of the world. For the good of the locals, of course. It still makes me laugh.
B.C. Mulligan, Rise of Nations designer.
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defy x gravity (1:01:53 AM): premature deletion
defy x gravity (1:01:53 AM): how could you zak?!
Gemm0987 (1:02:34 AM): a- it was in my bulk folder, b- it was junk, c- I have a premature deletion problem... I'm going to stop there.
defy x gravity (1:03:31 AM): hahahahahaha
defy x gravity (1:03:31 AM): ooooh the innuendo w/C
Gemm0987 (1:04:13 AM): Yes, a very bad anecdote if you will.
defy x gravity (1:05:15 AM): zak has a premature deletion problem
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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man. "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
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Funny... three years ago I could have sworn the last clock in that joke belonged to Bill Clinton...
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I did. I'm sure it belonged to someone else before that. It's one of those old jokes that's only funny the first time you hear it, so it has to keep getting updated for each new generation.
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And just for the heck of it, I'll put a quote down too.
Kristy is afraid the haunted house that the roleplaying group is going to will have a chainsaw weilding maniac.
"Are there chainsaws?" - Kristy
"No."
"Are there saws?" - Kristy
"No."
"Are there chains?" - J.T.
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I'm the limerick, mired in muck.
I refuse to be bored or get stuck.
I like to offend,
But not, in the end,
As much as to thwart expectations.
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"All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Schoepenhauer
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I wonder what the world would be like if we all grew up to be what we dreamed of as kids? Imagine a world full of cowboys, firemen, ballerinas, and nurses.
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"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." --Elbert Hubbard
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"So! The caterpillar has emerged from its caccoon as a SHARK, with a gun for a mouth!" - Mr. Burns.
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"Plus rabies shots are way cheaper than Kid Zoloft"
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Me: "So did you hear about Johnathan Brandis?"
Husband: "No. Who's Johnathan Brandis?"
Me: "He was the big teen-girl heartthrob when I was in middle school; the Leonardo DiCaprio you might say. In fact he looked a lot like him too."
Husband: "Well, you know they all come from the same farm."
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[21:51] SaintEhlers: did you ask her yet?
[21:52] Gemm0987: Nah, she was like right there too. But I just went into Super-Zak-Defense Mood, and froze up. Leaving behind my dignity,
[21:52] Gemm0987: .
[21:53] SaintEhlers: your wimpishness is like your superpower
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gmm09: no...
stacer90: huh?
stacer90: is this gemm?
gmm09: I can't see it. There is no text to see.
stacer90: ???
gmm09: If fries could talk, then I wouldn't be having this problem.
Yahoo! Messenger: gmm09 has logged out. (11/21/2003 10:55 PM)
Is this Gemm? Or just some random weirdo other than our well-loved Zak?
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Yes, it's me. I just can't see text in the Yahoo message window. Or in chats.I've tried everything. But its just dumb.
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That's really weird. I've tried messaging back, but just get nonsense stuff from you. Hope you figure it out.
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I've tried messaging back, but just get nonsense stuff from you.
Strange. Thats all i get as well. :)
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Terry: "You're insane!"
Kate: "I'm unhappy! It's not the same thing."
watching Bandits...
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Oh, har har, very funny Entropy. At least it isn't like walking into some sort of Cuss bag, like you. javascript:tongue()
javascript:tongue()
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"I guess I'll have the large 'velocity over molecular weight times pi' latte? Low fat." - Random guy from Lilo and Stitch TV show.
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"I always like going south. Somehow it feels like going downhill." -Treebeard
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I want to level-up. So here's a gratuitous quote from my favorite unpopular movie.
"Noxy, You remember John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt?"
"Oh yes, his name is my name too!"
"Do people always shout? I HATE that!"
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Upon reading the back of my trashy Star Trek paperback
Husband: "Glorious Spock! Gallant Kirk! Valiant... er..."
Me: "Uhura."
Husband: "Yeah, him."
Me: *incredulous look* "Her."
Husband: "Her? Who's the Chinese guy then?"
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"Oh no. I've seen way too many Bond movies to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan no matter how close you think you are to winning." - Azrael
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" A career? I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I dont want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I dont want to do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I dont really know. I cant figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna hang with your daughter."
---LLOYD
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"How bad could it be?"
"I'm thinking napalm. with Pirannhas in it."
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OK, a pile of quotes from "Triangle and Robert:
in a court room:Next case: the mind's necessarily imperfect understanding of time versus Dhalism. Round one!
A person can only be in one prison at a time. Remember that.
T: I'm not sure. It sounded meaningful before I said it.
R: Moral: Don't say things
R: How would you account for a tentacled monstrosity living in a pool of ichor and guarding a book bound in human skin by commanding the corpses of those it drowns
T: Don Knotts in a mask
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Go, Klepto-Monkey, Go!
FFX-2
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Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. this is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
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Larry King's Wife: "I'm always the butt of his jokes!
Wayne Brady : "That's a marriage!"
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Entropy's quote must be true - I read it just fine. How about that.
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That is such a sweet quote Entropy
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Heh. I've seen that one passed around the English department a couple of times. It is indeed a nice quote. I'm left wondering, however, if it's readable for the reason it says, or if the ability simply comes from clever re-arrangement of letters.
"Aoccdrnig" is intelligible because many of the letters are only slightly rearranged. Would it be as intelligible if it had been written "Adincorcg" instead?
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EUOL has a point. I tested that word on someone who was not thinking of the word "according" and he replied, "I don't bloody know".
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At least it explains how we can understand Spriggan's posts.
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"You're like a suppository of knowledge." -Greg Dean
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More Teens say 'no' to sex. Experts uncertain of reason.
Here's the article. http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20031223133809990015
I just found the headline on AOL rather amusing.
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I think they're saying no because of the individuals asking them to have sex.
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Hey, whats that suppose to mean? =P You have no idea of what kind of experiments I'll be doing in college next semester. How could you? =P
-
I'm not going to go into everything that was wrong with that last statement.
-
You know nothing!
-
You do realize that your "Experiments" are probably Crimes against Humanity dont you. On second thought scratch the probably. After all eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
-
Hey now, no crime must go unpunished. As something always says.
-
You know, they bring the baboon in there, and you have to wrestle him for the heart. That's how it works.
-Penny Arcade.
-
These from "Night Shift"
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to kill the trolls
Wendell, you make history come alive in ways it probably shouldn't
When are these mad geniuses going to learn that the world is perfectly fine and nobody should ever try to make things better?
-
On Christmas Eve, my family had a heart-warming discussion.
My mother: "See Spot suck."
My sister: "Suck Spot suck."
My father: "Spot sucks."
-
My father (source of all good quotes) holding a dancing santa with new batteries trying to show it to my brother in law. (the Santa is not working)
Dance you Son of a @#$@# dance!
-
from my daughter, while in the middle of some game involving Barbies and toy horses:
"A dungeon is kind of like a barn."
From "Ozy and Millie"
Ozy: "You mean the rules are made by people whose brains don't work?"
Ozy's Dady: "Adults refer to this as 'democracy.'"
-
Millie: I've decided I want to be a beach bum when I grow up.
Millie's Mom: Isn't thins going to interfere with your plans to be a ninja pirate lawyer ballerina beatnik rockstar astronaut?
Millie: Not in the INTERNET AGE, Mom.
-
It's kind of fun doing the impossible.
Walt Disney
-
Entropy says:
wanna be drunk so i dont have to do that damn holding hands thing
Entropy says:
with big bell
Entropy says:
its confusing ffs
Mauseh says:
wtf
Mauseh says:
are you talking about
Mauseh says:
is that something scottish?
Entropy says:
dunno
Entropy says:
its something annoying
-
A very merry unbirthday
To me
To who?
To me
Oh, you
A very merry unbirthday
To you
Who, me?
To you
Oh, me
Let's all congrulate us with another cup of tea
A very merry unbirthday to you
Now statistics prove
Prove that you've one birthday
Imagine just one birthday every year
Ah, but there are 364 unbirthdays
Preciselywhy we're gathered here to cheer
A very merry unbirthday
To me?
To you
A very merry unbirthday
For me?
For you
Now blow the candle out, my dear
And make your wish come true
A very merry unbirthday to you
-
Shouldn't that be under the 'cool lyrics' thread?
-
in theory it could be both...
-
More exciting web comic quotes. This time from Hound's Home
Chuckle Hound: If Bush was goth, America would get picked on a lot by the preppie nations.
Jenna: The French would wear gap sweatshirts and mock us mercilessly
Melvin: What about Men without freakish desires?
Ray: I don't see how that's possible
Melvin: I love Gollum. He's like Jar Jar Binks in a bad mood
-
and from goats:
There is no money in Crab City. Only Crabs.
I'm on a case. The kind of case that takes your very soul and puts it in a tiny box and then puts a hamster on top of that box. And that hamster never moves, Pete. THE HAMSTER NEVER MOVES AGAIN.
Personally, I would love a pork and apple juice drink designed to appeal to my youthful on-the-go lifestyle.
Ah, see, there's your error. Logic doesn't work on women. It only fuels their rage, like Vulcan vampires.
I really didn't need to see Hitler's nipple today.
-
The hardest part about animating Pocahontas is trying to capture who she really is
Some stupid Disney animator on an ad at the beginning of one of my kids' sing along videos
This was a stupid thing to say for so many reaons, as my wife points out. isn't that what you try to do with ANY character you animate?
I went for a much more visceral criticism. They didn't bother trying to capture who she really was or what she really did with the script, so I don't know why the animators bothered trying.
-
hmmm, so since they didnt capture who she was at all I guess it really was the hardest part, and they failed.
-
Tyco, from Penny Arcade speaks thus:
They say that when God closes a door he opens a window, which is nice I guess, but if it's all the same to him maybe he could just leave the fucking door open? He's omnipotent, and presumably this state allows him to open a door and a window simultaneously. Or maybe this is some Myst bullshit where when you open one the other closes automatically, in which case he shouldn't get the credit anyhow. At any rate, the most recent example of this phenomenon is this (http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=16696) - we don't get to have the show anymore, but we do get a movie. What that has to do with God exactly I'm not sure.
-
mmmmmmmm firefly!
-
"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?" - Wash
-
This isn't science fiction!
Honey we live on a spaceship.
So!- Wash and Zoe
-
"That's.... new." - Prue
"Demon with demon filling." - Pheobe
Sorry to switch shows, but I liked this one.
-
(mock reading Simon's journal) "Dear Diary...today I was pompous and my sister was crazy." (flips page) "Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."-Jayne Cobb
(http://www.luxlucre.com/firefly/sp-jayne.gif)
-
(http://www.luxlucre.com/firefly/bsp-saffron.gif)
(http://www.luxlucre.com/firefly/sp-mal.gif)
Saffron: "You gonna kill me?"
Mal: "Can you conjure up a terribly compelling reason for me not to?"
Saffron: "I didn't kill you."
Mal: "You handed me and my crew over to those that would kill us. That buys you nothing."
Saffron: (smiles) "I made you dinner."
-
"How was it?"
"It was great...if you're the devil and enjoy human suffering"
-
Sarah's full of good ones today. While playing with a small stuffed turtle I was given as a going away present from Greensboro:
"Oh! There's something to eat! A bad guy!"
-
These days, games are trying to be more and more like movies, and generally, they have been successful -- successful in the sense that they, like most movies today, suck.
-Sam Logan
-
At least we know that you and Ethan are teaching your children to eat the bad guys.
-
yes, but badguys taste better anyways because they are often corn and beer fed.
-
*after being shot*
Shepherd Book: "I think I might be needing a preacher."
Mal: "That's good, you lie there and be ironical."
-
"Cynicism is an unpleasant way of telling the truth. " - Lillian Hellman
-
Me: I'm gonna name one of my kids Odin.
Eric: NO I'M NAMING MY KID ODIN!
Me: If you name your kid Odin, I'm naming my kid after your kid.
Me and a friend. Talking.
-
on kids dealing with clueless teachers:
"When I was his age, if I'd realized how little people our age knew, I'd have listened even less."
-Boxjam
-
"I'm almost 70% positive it does nothing harmful." - The Help Desk
-
Ok, as mentioned elsewhere, my wife actually went WITH me to see RotK. This rocks. anyway, midway through I started having great ideas for other things and taking notes in the dark on my tiny lined Franklin paper with the only writing utinsil on hand, a tiny refill for a Franklin Quad Pen that broke something like 5 years ago. Considering that it was dark, I did a pretty darn good job. Any, all that narrative just to let you know what RotK quotes got written down:
Elrond and Aragorn: "I give hope to men." "I keep none for myself"
After being told what paradise/heaven is like, Pippin says, "That doesn't sound too bad."
Gandalf: "I will not tell you not to weep for not all tears are an evil."
and the line from Samwise that it's quickly becoming my personal philosophy: "You can't go walkin' through Mordor in naught but your skin."
-
"A man who won't lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings." - Olin Miller
-
Cary Grant: "Now don't lose your head."
Katherine Hepburn: "I've got my head, I've lost my leopard!"
-
*laughs
That's becoming my sig, fuzzy. So many great lines from that one! (Unless you want it for your own...)
-
Nope, I'm happy with my current sig.
-
"Trust me":
Translation of the Latin "caveat emptor."
-
I think I need to borrow Bill & Ted's time machine so we can have a Roman scholar around here to help out with all the Latin problems.
-
Or just someone who can take Latin seriously
-
"She's the real 'Eat, drink and be merry' type."
"Yeah, well she'll end up fat, drunk, and miserable."
from 'Rear Window'
-
"Do you think an LDS publisher would buy a book where the main characters are totally amoral?"
---Fell
-
"Otherwise he obviously thought the whole thing rather above my head, and he said that if I had the cheek to make verses about Earendil in the house of Elrond, it was my affair. I suppose he was right." - Bilbo, speaking to Frodo, recounting an earlier conversation he had with Aragon, in which they discussed a song Bilbo was writing.
-
"If you can feel the crunch, then you're really killing something. It's like murder."
(my wife, on stepping on spiders, specifically large ones)
-
Entropy says:
i'm like the elephant hunter who has just come across the lost colony of dinosaurs
Entropy says:
the new game is so big, i think i need new weapons
Obi-Wan Kenobi says:
heheheh
Myself, refering to my subtitle.
-
"Dancing naked isn't speech!"
Overheard in conversation. I turned around to look at the speaker, who looked at me, waved sheepishly, and said "You heard the wrong part of the conversation." Though it seems pretty obvious to me that they were talking about freedom of speech.
-
why couldn't dancing naked be free speech?
-
I don't know, but I think that's a topic for its own thread.
-
The Naked Dancing Llama endorses free speech.
Mostly about licking and frolicking.
"Frolic Frequently" he says.
-
"yeah... right... and I need to know thats alliteration... u can right well without knowing whether or not that is illiteration u realise"
My friend just then, on how I should change the syllabus when I become an English teacher.
-
and people fear for AMERICAN education
-
April: You guys eat pizza?
Donatello and Michaelangelo (together): Doesn't everybody?
Ah yes, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Corey Felman's finest film.
-
"in the immortal words of the philosopher Dennis Leary: 'Life sucks. Get a helmet.'" -Rich Redman on change.
-
"The tip of the news media's tounge has been glued to Janet Jackson's right breast, ever since the superbowl last weekend." - Jon Stewart, The Daily Show
You know, they need to make a book of his quotes and sell them. I would pay good money for a book like that.
-
"If god is everywhere, why hasn't someone called the cops yet?"
Unknown
-
You know when people say, "yeah, he's a few bricks short of a full load" or "two tacos short of a combination platter" or somesuch? I heard, "yeah, his address ends in @aol" used in the same manner. -- my friend Laren
-
This from Saxons!, the Pendragon sourcebook on well... Saxons.
Rarely, Saxons or Northmen ask Wotan for victory in battle by declaring hte entire enemy army as a sacrifice [for combat advantages]... Rival WOtanic armies can pledge each other to Wotan. This amuses Wotan.
-
From the Grouse! website, about today's Site of the Day.
"Unless you are a stick of bamboo, you have to admit that pandas are amazingly cute. So logic dictates that a baby panda is going to be even cuter. This premise turns out to be true, but only after the baby panda gets to 1 month and 22 days old. Before that they are a bit yucky."
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This one is so darn good it's going in my sig.
"I approve of the oral use of gastropods only for purely recreational purposes."
(In response to a conversation about how slugs' mucus is mildly anesthetic and so in olden times if you had a toothache, it was practice to suck on a slug.)
-
"going in my slug."
Uh.. should I ask?
-
*falls out of chair*
Oh dear. I meant "In my sig" but I'm sleep deprived and have slugs on the brain.
-
Posted at the top of my coworker's monitor:
"It's 6 o'clock. Time for the penguin to explode."
He tells me it's from Monty Python. I thought SE and Brenna especially would get a kick out of it.
-
LOTR: Gimli, after Legolas has singlehandedly taken down an oliphaunt with that mysteriously replenishing quiver of his :)
"It STILL only counts as ONE!"
-
Didn't you know? Elves are born with glands on their back that secrete arrows.
-
much like porcupines
-
"Dave, a local friend of mine, made an excellent point awhile back, that whenever a storm is announced, people rush out to buy bread, milk, and eggs, obviously in the hopes that the Storm Gods can be appeased by sacrifices of French toast. " -Ursula Vernon
-
I like French toast
-
(A rant from a comic that was called, i think, Elflife. Was a comic about the roleplayers in an online chatroom. Died soon after this rant.)
Telling a cartoonist that he has offended you is often like rolling in steak sauce and chicken gravy and going out to pet a pitbull. Really, I don't have it out for Japanese animation and I respect the great contributions the East has brought to comics and cartoons. But really, some folks can't see the landfill for the trash. I'm amazed at what some people will not only enjoy, but follow with all the religious zeal of a cultist who needs his poisoned kool-aid.
Anyway, I pitched a new story idea to Shannon yesterday that she just loved (but she is biased) so I'm going to share it here: The Anime Bible.
See, anime RUINS EVERYTHING. And what better way to illustrate that than by taking the most famous religious text in the world and re-telling it with the same popular anime conventions that American fans can't get their cartoon on without? Let's imagine what it might be like.
(Scene opens in a field in the day. Jesus Christ sits upon a stone, resting his feet peacefully. Pan to the right, showing a still shot of a crowd of happy children. Rather than animate the children, play sound effects of children laughing. A stern disciple stands in their path, his mouth opened wide to show his teeth as he yells at the children. Only two alternating frames of animation for the disciple's jaws are necessary for this scene)
Disciple: You there kids! You should not be here! Jesus is resting and you should leave him alone when he is resting! Respect your elders, you rascally kids! Why don't you go home and behave?
Disciple: (suddenly turns for no reason at all and gasps) What?
Jesus: (calmly sitting on the rock with his eyes closed. Slowly his eyes open. Close up on his eyes so we don't have to animate his mouth.) Let the children come. (replace background with blue streaks) For theirs is the kingdom of heaven!
Disciple: (gasps) Uhn!
(scene ends with children surrounding Jesus. They still aren't moving, but their laughter is louder now. Jesus smiles while the Disciple sweats profusely from his forehead. Fade to black and preview next episode, when Super Mecha Jesus and the Go Go New Testament Rangers take on Robo Pontius Pilate)
For now I plan on making this script idea into a hot new webcomic called "MegaBible". I mean, Jesus is all over the webcomic world already anyway. Of course, I will write the dialogue in the original Hebrew and place the frames from right to left to make it more accessible to scholarly and dyslexic monks who read Sailor Moon. It will also have ninjas fighting pirates and lots of references to Squaresoft video games.
And yes, I know you're offended, so don't bother telling me. Really. >:(
-
*blink*
-
Actualy that was elf only inn Entropy, I remeber you showing me that comic. Its gotten more popular (they even did a comic with Penny-arcade through comixpedia's blind date event). it's at keenspace now http://elfonlyinn.keenspace.com/
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I wish they'd had electric guitars in cotton fields back in the good old days. A whole lot of things would've been straightened out.
-Jimi Hendrix
-
MMORPGS normaly aren't the sespools that other online games are. But Linage2 is a PVP based game so that brings all the bottum feeders out.
- Spriggan
-
<eccgen> I'm not attempting to denigrate Jeff Healey. But, now, Rush, right, see there's Rush and then there's like, you know. Others. notRush.
-
Welcome to the internet. Enjoy your stay. Remeber to crap your values out before you reach the first floor.
--from the Blizzard WoW forum
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"Deleted Scenes from The Passion"
Panel 1
Guy Being Crucified: "I said I'd cry for your sins. Cry!
Panel 2
Guy Being Crucified: "Get me down from here, I've got sand in my eye."
Panel 3
Guy Being Crucified.
Panel 4
Guy Being Crucified: "Ingrates!"
Don't give me that look, I know where I'm goin'.
Brian Clevinger
-
JamPaladin
and realised a fundamental human truth in the process
Entropy
that joy and happiness are LIES
JamPaladin
No, that "It is Warmth that drives us"
JamPaladin
why do we seek romantic partners? That we may share in their warmth
JamPaladin
Why did people worship the sun as a god?
JamPaladin
Why is light and heat associated with god?
JamPaladin
Why do people like sunny days better than rainy ones?
JamPaladin
It all comes back to the warmth. TO be lonely is to be without warmth
JamPaladin
WHat do you think of that theory?
Entropy
you think too much
JamPaladin
I thought you'd say that
- MSN conversation.
BTW, i post to this thread too much.
-
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
--Rita Rudner
-
From roleplaying:
Me : "Yeah, we should take all the kids along as well so they can become knights later on."
GM "But... they are theology students."
Me "So they will be knights templar then".
...and...
Me "Hey, how are you going to ride a horse while wearing such a huge skirt?"
Lucy "I'll ride side saddle"
Maus "What the hell, is that like a side car?"
-
GM: No, that's normal damage, not killing damage.
Me: Yeah, there's nothing killing about one body hitting another.
Mike (facetiously): Well if one bit the other one in the eye . . .
-
[13:04] Gemm0987: bug, there's a bug alright. Right up your butt.
[13:04] Gemm0987: =P
[13:04] Gemm0987 has been warned.
[13:04] Gemm0987: Hey
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
-
?
-
is that a quote from "A Room with a View" or are you asking me what that means?
If the former, quite clever. ? to you too. If the latter, it was an AIM conversation. Gemm was trying to be funny/abusive, so I warned him. I had to post it here to show him I was amused and not mad, because if you reply in the AIM window, they can give you a warning back.
-
Ah. No, not clever enough. I read "A Room With a View" recently though, and I don't remember that quote.
I noticed Sat that Gemm had been warned.
-
well, to be fair, I don't htink it's IN the book. Just the movie version.
-
<Chaos`^> well.. I was hoping on uncovering a conspiricy within the town this session
<Chaos`^> but sadonis decided to kill a few guards instead
<JacobRiis> indeed. =/
<JacobRiis> who needs enemies when Sadonis is your friend?
-
"Some of us are born wise, and some of us are born otherwise." - My bus driver
-
"From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
-- Groucho Marx, from The Book of Insults
-
"Anything worth doing is worth maybe dying for. ... and stuff."
-
Entropy says:
"The Heady Feeling of Freedom says:
Hey..I score a 5.9 on hot or not
The Heady Feeling of Freedom says:
rated by 99 people, no less!
Entropy says:
oh wow!
Entropy says:
another layer of deception you use to disguise the meaningless morass that is your life
The Heady Feeling of Freedom says:
Yeah, i know my life sucks, ok?"
Entropy says:
victory!
Spriggan says:
haha, that's why I don't try and brag around you.
Entropy says:
lol
-
JamPaladin: "When I was a boy, you'd have to post at leats 50 on topic posts before you were allowed to post at all"
-
"Well if I were cool, and I told you I was cool, then I wouldn't be cool." - Presidential Candidate John Kerry, apparently trying to combine hip and zen.
-
"Come on ark it doesnt take a rocket surgeon to open a can of beans"
" But it does appear to take a brain scientist to get an idiom right, aye morgane?"
just a little conversation from last weekend...
-
"Oh my god! I just realized my tounge is completely flavorless!" One of Ark's more intelligent revalations, aye ark?
-
you didnt have to bring that up...
-
"Writing intellectual history is like trying to nail jelly to the wall."-William Hesseltine
-
<Entropy> so your arguement is... 'i know nothing, but i think i know something!'
-
"George, do you even know what jealousy is?"
"Well I'm not 100% sure, but it has to do with setting people on fire."
From the Brit-com "My Hero"
-
briggs says:
It could've worked...
Ark says:
If I had arms and you had a neck i would squeeze your brain that is your body out of your head that does'nt exist!
Morgane says:
Briggs you're an idiot, and fuzzy, what in the heck are you talking about!?
-
"Hope is the denial or reality" - a cool quote which seems oh so true.
"Under-beneath" - I still haven't got rid of that one...
-
Jampaladin says:
I just realised I the buses don't rune arly enough for this convention I'm going to.
Jampaladin says:
So I need to figure out a life or something
Jampaladin says:
Err, a lift
-
An emotion? Where can I download one?
-
"When I was a kid we had to walk uphill two miles in the snow to get our bling bling." - Me, at the mall last night.
"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'" - Jake Johansen
-
mmm-mm-m...sacriligous..." Ian McGuinness. yesterday at passover, while eating bacon...
-
Millie: "Is there something wrong with me?"
Ozy: "Of course, that's why we're friends."
Millie: "I mean the BAD kind of wrong with me!"
Ozy and Millie (http://www.ozyandmillie.org/)
You hurt my head like math!
Sluggy Freelance (http://www.sluggy.com)
I don't feel like reverse engineering the logic of that idea
Triangle and Robert (http://home.comcast.net/~pshaughn/tandr.html) (and how I often feel dealing with Gemm)
-
"I know, but when we kill it makes the policemen flustered and stern."
-
Oh, drat Eric, what is that FROM? I can't remember and it's drivin' me nuts.
-
it's a QoW thing.
-
"Behold my latest piece: an exercise in beautiful melancholy and tragic... also melancholy."
"Ninjas eating tacos?"
"Poor ninjas... No cultural identity."
-
"So what do you guys like on your pizza?"
"Oh the usual. Flies, stink bugs..."
-
What on earth are you talking about?
"I'm as clever as a tree and twice as handsome"
-
He's quoting the first TMNT movie, of course! yay!
-
never seen it
-
"I'm sorry April. I know this comes as a blow to you."
*TWACK*
"You can say that again, Chuck"
"I look like I just called Mike Tyson a sissy and all you can say is hi?"
"Wise man say, forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."
-
"I have always liked . . . Cowabunga."
-
"Why? Why, Oh I don't know, 'cause I wanted to redecorate. You know, 'couple of throw pillows, a TV news reporter, what do ya think?"
"Why don't I ever dream of Harrison Ford?"
I'm fond of this one because it made no sense to me at age 8, but now I get it. Why would you want to dream about some old guy who shoots a lot of people in movies?
-
I actually watched the whole trilogy in the last two days, and the first is definitely the best. Though the interaction of the turtles gets amusing once you accept how immature it is. (they are, after all, only 15 year olds). The second was just too goofy with a lot of uncalled for yelling and such -- though the guy in the tutle suit does some much more impressive "chucking" than in the first. the third improved on that drastically by keeping the absurdity, but toning it down. Also, they got Cory Feldman back to do Donatello and had Casey Jones again. Yay!.
The best bit in the whole trilogy has to be
*Raphael is disarmed but still beats up about two dozen ninjas
"You guys must be studying the ABRIDGED book of Ninja fighting."
*Raphael beats up a couple more ninjas.
"I mean, come on. How do you guys expect to beat me?"
*several dozen more ninjas show up
"Good answer!"
The remainder of that scene is also very amusing. with lines like "He likes it" (cut scene to Raphael being dragged down the stairs) and "Guys, I'm not so sure that, structurally speaking, this is such a good time for your friends to drop in.
-
England is a perfect example of what to do with people you don't want in your country. They took all the criminals and shipped them off to live on their own island; and now Australia is prospering like crazy. Mars could be our Australia.
---Brian Newport
-
"The terror alert in France has just been upgraded from run to hide."
Tom Rose--Jerusalem Post, on the Imus program.
-
"dont worry snowman cant feel pain, they got no brains"
"yhea all they have is snowballs"