Timewaster's Guide Archive
General => Everything Else => Topic started by: Mad Dr Jeffe on April 19, 2003, 10:37:10 AM
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030419/capt.1050743137.topix_japan_art_exhibit_tok111.jpg)
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And This one
(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20030419/capt.sge.bsb49.190403013927.photo00.default-384x267.jpg)
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Picture #1) "Whoa, looks like the mushrooms on our cheeseburgers were imported from Amsterdam."
Picture #2) "Sure am glad that wasn't barbed wire."
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#1) "Well, someone rolled a natural 20 on their Color Spray."
#2) "They're made of chocolate, Jimmy! Put it in your mouth! *whisper* Keep the camera rolling, honey, I bet we can win some money with this video."
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#1 When the Greatful Dead go Yuppie
#2 Greetings from the Set of Honey I blew up the Kid... Again!!!
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Todays Pictures
(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030421/i/1050926868.4093780043.jpg)
(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030421/i/1050926871.4093780040.jpg)
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This weeks photo's
#1
"If your not good Jimmy, mommy's going to replace you with the XJ9-5000 model."
#2 "Bow down to your plastic overlords Humans!"
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This weeks:
1) Toddler jim had to question his mothers ability to determine left from right...
2) I am the master and you shall obey me!
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1) further proof Japanese kids look like monkeys. I mean just look at him he's the norm.
2) I'm open! I'm open!<sigh> no one ever throws to the robot with no thumbs :'(
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#1: "See honey, I don't need daddy anymore."
#2: In a robot voice-"Do not fear me. I may not have IMmmposeable thumbs, but I can ge-rill a mean hot-DOG."
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#2 Honda unleashes its army of Robots onto an unsuspecting world. -
#2 Person talking in bad characature of Asian accent "Activate the BattleDroids"
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For the baby pic:
"I am the Dread Baby Roberts! Now you are here, but soon you will not be here...the Dread Baby Roberts has come for your souls!" (light the Apocalypse Jacket...)
For the first Honda/Japanese pic:
"Proximity Alarm! You have exactly four seconds to remove your hand from the guardrope-holder before I vaporize you...4..."
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This Weeks Picture (http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030428/capt.1051542025.topix_south_korea_iraq_sel203.jpg)
The Jolly Green Giant gets drafted
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I've crapped bigger soldiers than you!
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"As soon as I get out of here I'm filing for midget abuse."
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I have 2 new pictures for this week.
(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030508/i/1052390758.3825303638.jpg)
" Yang never really got the knack of parallel parking his elephant."
(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030508/i/1052389296.4227858527.jpg)
"AOL introduces the new AOL Smiley! Four Hundred times more powerful than the old Smiley AOL hopes to capture the market for emotionally conflicted internet users"
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#1: "I didn't think evan an elephant could pee that much!"
#2: "Before and after pictures for plastic surgery. See your rhinoplastic surgeon today!"
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030509/capt.1052454511.indians_angels_ans103.jpg)
-Baseball games at Mount St. Helens are often called due to a lava delay.
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"Now I'll just set off my lava burst as a distraction so no one will see me pick this wedgie"
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20030511/capt.sge.igj75.110503225135.photo00.default-400x267.jpg)
Where the sidewalk ends.....
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Baghdad after the US government is done with it.
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US zipcode 00001
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Utah
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Last week's #2:
"WallMart: Resistance is Futile" or
"WallMart: You Will Be Assimilated"
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Branson, Mo, was not quite as the tourists expected it to be.
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firewood
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Midweek Captions
(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030528/i/1054134651.2349219884.jpg)
(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20030528/capt.sge.nrk24.280503121925.photo00.default-384x264.jpg)
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Tatsuya Imo's infamous "Rocket Butthole Serve."
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For the Jolly Green gets drafted:
"Private Butters prayed that the Sergeant would skip squat-thrusts today"
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Now, when we make butt jokes, which of those pictures are we talking about?
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The first one. No fair adding pictures after the first one!
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Yeah well cleaning day at the sarlacc pit was just too hard to pass up.
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(http://www.engrish.com/recent/image/godcoffee.jpg)
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It's almost... sacramental, if I may be permitted my moment of blasphemy...
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mmmm...sacrilicious
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Ha I've got a platic model of that coffie brand! In almost all Japanese vending machinges they show what the cans look like above the buttons.
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030603/capt.1054665235.india_hindu_summer_camps_xdel106.jpg)
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Unfortunately for Blind Date, his date chickened out at the last second.
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This miniaturized optomitrist dives through the eyeglasses to see what is causing the itching and burning (Sorry, it sucks, I have sick daughters who make me say dumb things...)
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C'mon, Saint, can't you at least spell Optometrist right?
:)
With a soon-to-be optometrist on the boards and all.
I guess having sick daughters is a good enough excuse...THIS TIME!
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C'mon, Saint, can't you at least spell Optometrist right?
Apparently the answer to that is no, no I can't.
And let's play a fun game. Sprig, without looking at the word above, spell the word that identifies an eye doctor.
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Good call, Saint.
This should be amusing.
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umm Eye Doctor, pretty easy SE :)
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I begin to see the problem. it goes much deeper than an inability to spell.
"eye doctor" would be a phrase. I asked for a word. NOW PERFORM!
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(http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/images/pop_hitsuji.jpg)
and
(http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/images/pop_ojosama2.jpg)
Both came from... The Tailor of a cat CAT PRIN (http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/english/#hitsuji). Its a japanese website with english text. You have been warned.
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Previous photo:
Right Hoop: the flaming hoop of choice for discerning circus performers.
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Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil.
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What happens when cats fall into the hands of Dog-Lovers of America.
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Cadamis
Ah yes, let me introduce you to my cats, Diablo and Periwinkle.
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The silence was heavy, palpable.
"Fluffy, you're taking this pokemon fetish too far."
"It's all I can do to keep my sanity," she replied. "The way you stare, it's just so creepy."
He took a step forward, an offering towards bridging the distance between them, but she bristled ever so slightly, and he stopped.
I always hated pokemon, he thought.
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(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030610/i/1055245531.2550308959.jpg)
Not quite a monkipotimus, but it'll do
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mmmmmmm........prozac popsicle........
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"Hey, Cut it out with that monkey pox crud. We've got feelings just like everyone else"
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Heheh, what they don't know is that this actually came out of me first. Silly primates.
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The mystic necalace of stupid human charming works!
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030616/capt.1055768861.wimbledon_kournikova_out_ny150.jpg)
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Overly concerned with her waistline, Anna failed to notice the bulging cancerous tumor on her leg.
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Another San Francisco based Anna Kornakova Impersonator
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mmmm...........anna buttocks......
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/nm/20030523/mdf280438.jpg)
Shudder
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ALL YOUR BUGS ARE BELONG TO US!!
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Piggy!
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Introducing the smallest man in the world
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tasty
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20030618/capt.sge.udj66.180603090400.photo00.default-253x392.jpg)
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Britain's Answer to the trade imbalance.
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(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030623/i/1056369085.2416377890.jpg)
Americas answer to Osama Bin Ladin
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nerd
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(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030626/i/1056646714.3758301257.jpg)
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One millioni terrorists can't be wrong
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030701/capt.1057064243.india_hindu_festival_amd104.jpg)
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"And look! I can make it dance too!"
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030709/capt.1057767059.georgia_giant_preschoolers_mosb110.jpg)
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"Ve von dees medals in a balet competition. And no, we don't do stervoids, da!"
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"he's not heavy, he's my brother."
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(http://www.saintehlers.com/misc/images/picbush.jpg)
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"Mr Bush had heard of "Night vision goggles" but he was unsure this was how they were meant to work."
"Mr Bush, sitting in Camp David, reflected thoughtfully that maybe sending a robot out to do your public appearances was not quite the good dodge it had appeared at first."
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Entropy that was pretty funny.
But is laughing at the expense of someone else respectful? ;)
Bush "So do I look through this end?"
General giggling "Yes sir, Mr. President Sir!"... "Bwah, haw, haw!!!"
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I try my best. :)
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Have you seen the one where he's reading a book to some kids and its upside down.
"There they are! The WMD's!"
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BWAHAHHAHAHAHA
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(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030725/i/1059135154.4026662986.jpg)
Not a strip poker game I'd want to get in on!
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Mr Megilio, the person running the strippers anonamous meeting, reflected that having the visitors "face their addiction" was not having the hoped-for result.
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"This little piggy had roast beef, but this little piggy was a Buddhist monk and therefore had only lentils in a weak broth."
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Playing follow the leader can get kinda interesting when the leader is four and likes to run around in his underwear.
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(http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl_images/02_toilets.jpg)
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It turns out rural Zimbabwe *didn't* have a huge unfilled market for second-hand toilets.
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Got the runs? Come on out to S**tter City!
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one you may have seen before
(http://www.saintehlers.com/misc/images/kermit.gif)
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"When Love Ends"
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When relationships go bad.
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"Them's good eatin'"
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I got tired of pig in the blankets.
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/nm/20030914/mdf359868.jpg)
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"Um Mr. President, has anyone briefed you on the last 60 years? "
I wondered about this one too, there was a whole set of photos that show bush lifting his right arm to the troops. Im not sure if th press took pictures like that intentionally (ie there were other shots but they just didn't use them) or if Bush really did it a lot.
If he did someone on his staff needs to tell him about the NAZI's
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"Blast. My Dark Magic refuses to work! They are not falling to the power of my Mind Influence spell!"
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I tell you sergeant, that rat was this tall!
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"You may sit."
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(http://www.saintehlers.com/misc/images/Storm.jpg)
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incidentally, that was taken in the Atlantic last Thursday.
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Caption this Picture threads after the Patriot Act 2 passes
edit ahh SE noticed he put the wrong link up. Dang now my joke is not funny.
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lol, i fixed it.
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Quick! Get out the bouncy castle, this looks like fun!
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Wow, I havent seen that in a while (4 Hurricanes and 5 Noreasters under my belt in the North Atlantic)
Well how about a real life quote..
"Ok boys, tell the cook to break out the crackers!!!"
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20030925/capt.sge.ivs53.250903151545.photo00.default-272x389.jpg)(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20030925/i/1064490854.3422953577.jpg)
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"Finaly Anna Nicolos' before breakfast snack was finished."
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1. The DNA of a Model
2. At this size do you really need 2 a penny?
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"Dang. Dem be some UGLY toes."
for number 2:
"this is the cake we made from the yeast found in this model's toes."
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#2 Dudes look at the size of the shroom! We're Rich!
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20031004/capt.par10210041155.france_mines_par102.jpg)
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"We rebel against the scummy americans by making a pile of shoes and burning them at night." "No Not my 200 euro pair of high heels!" They are from america, we must burn!"
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" ...The sad tragedy of a country unable to make a tower of Beligian Waffles" now back to you Ken
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(http://images.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/10-03-03-nazi/Unkempt_nztubbies1.jpg)
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"The Truth behind PBS"
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Eventually Nazi-watzi converted all the teletubbies
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20031013/capt.sge.odk93.131003163438.photo00.default-398x251.jpg)
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Football of the Future
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Thats really, really good!
And your using my favorite quote ever... If I wern't married I would woo you. :)
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So then Mad Dr., may I do the wooing instead then?
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You could, but your wooing will be to no avail, for the Mistress of Darkness is permanantly wooed.
Perhaps a young lass from a shared computer class?
A maid so fair you see,
With lovely locks of wavering hair
who will not diss or flee
could your words ensare such a lady?
a maid who trembles for thee
she that does weep at your lack of sleep
and pats down your brow when it hurts you to see.
Nay, get out of your room and hunting you'll go
to fetch you a wench sweet and pure
though frightend you'll be
your courage will come from love that you'll share
and happy togeather your love'll make you free.
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Jeffe, you are very good with words. And I hope that wasn't you that made that up.
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sadly yes, in about 2 and a half minutes,... with more editing I would have ruined it.
:)
But the sentiment is true, if your lonely, only you have the potential to change that.
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Oh my. Anyways, a picture now.
(http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/extras/e_top.gif)
(http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/extras/e_top2.gif)
http://www.geocities.com/alternity1/extras/
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they dont work...
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Stupid Geocities. And that was really cool Jeffe, btw.
And thanks for the compliment. ;)
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Your welcome. ;D
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(http://www.nbc.com/nbc/Late_Night_with_Conan_O'Brien/10/yb15.jpg)
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I think we have you cast wrong. it's the scare crow who's supposed to be looking for a brain. But then, no heart, I guess that works too.
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(http://images.thesun.co.uk/picture/0,,2003480322,00.gif)
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Would Escher be rolling in his grave, or would he be happy? The world may never know.
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that is REALLY FREAKING COOL!
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Isnt it.
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"Umm, Timmy, I think you're taking the 'legomaniac' thing a little too far. Where's the floor, son?"
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"I hate this house, I always get lost. Now, where was the bathroom again?"
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Wow. That is the coolest thing I have seen in a very long time. Where did you find it?
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I had it sent to me by a friend... I'll ask him, though I expect its been floating around...
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Now this one I found on Brickshelf
(http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/seankenney/Sculpture/Homer/1.jpg)
its man sized
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Remember if it happend in history Lego will be there
they were there in 1941
(http://www.brickmania.com/Gallery2/war/Jerry.jpg)
and at Tienamin
(http://www.brickmania.com/Gallery2/goofy/badtaste.jpg)
Links to more Lego esher stuff can be found here http://www.lipsons.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/lego.htm
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I can't decide if I like the Jar-Jar Binks head or the guy's hand on his butt better.
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Where's Jar Jar? And these are incredibly cool.
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He's the head on the pike. Top middle, the highest lego. He's a tan color, so it's a little hard to pick out his features.
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Incredible!
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(to return this back to picture captioning)
(http://www.knology.net/debbystardust/images/twenty_cthulhu.jpg)
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"Vote for Cthulu: he'll add more color to the oval office AND those boring green bills!"
Incidentally, this is exactly what King Arthur is trying to stop with his bid for the White House (http://www.greenknight.com/newsletter/release-08182003.html).
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20031027/capt.sge.tko31.271003211743.photo00.default-255x370.jpg)
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Hajj got ya thirsty? Quench it the pilgrim way - Mecca Cola!
Let me know if that was culturally insensitive. I'm not making fun of anyone's beliefs and I don't think this is going too far, but I could be wrong. I wouldn't be offended if someone did something lighthearted like that with my religion.
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I can't read it all because of the resolution, but it looks like the label is saying "don't be an idiot, buy Mecca Cola"
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It reads no more drinking stupid, drink with commitment...
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20031103/capt.war15311031935.poland_war153.jpg)
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MORTAL COMBAT!!!!!!!!!!
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"No you dumb kid, behind you! Look out for the truck BEHIND YOU."
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not a caption... a real story!!!
Killer Squirrel's Reign of Terror
LONDON (Reuters) - A squirrel is spreading terror in a Cheshire town where it keeps attacking people.
Its latest victim was a two-year-old girl, British newspapers reported on Thursday.
Children have been attacked, grown men chased and residents of Knutsford, central England, are fearful of letting their kids out to play, the Times newspaper said.
The rogue squirrel's latest attack was on toddler Kelsi Morley who was bitten on the forehead.
"It was awful because she (Kelsi) was spinning around and we couldn't get it off," her mother told the newspaper.
"From the amount of blood there was, I thought it had taken Kelsi's eye out."
The squirrel eventually let go and the terrified youngster was rushed to a doctor.
Colin Booty, a senior scientific officer in the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, said it was very unusual for a squirrel to behave like this.
Local resident Blanche Kellye said the problem was not funny. "Everyone round here is living in fear...it's a vicious little thing. I'll never trust squirrels again."
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Also a true story. Yesterday, (or was it the day before? it was on the news yesterday) a water buffolo went rampaging through Melbourne, Australia. That's the middle of the city. I'm tryign to decide if it's so ridiculous it must be true, or the reporters are having a bet on who can convince people the most ridiculous fake story.
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(http://www.samandfuzzy.com/images/r01quoteotw.jpg)
From the webcomic Sam and Fuzzy (http://www.samandfuzzy.com).
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yeah, I remember when that happened. I sent him a nice email, pointing out my reciprocal feeling of being honored. I think he had found it on a google search, I felt certain that, since Tage and Fell had both started reading it about that time, that one of them had sent him an email or something, but all the same, it was cool.
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(http://www-math.mit.edu/~jstarr/mphotos/P1270003a.jpg)
Call of Cthulhu players will probably instantly think "Dark Young of Shub - Niggurath". C'mon, you can ever make out it's hooves!
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Be very, very afraid. It's an Ent.
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20031118/capt.sge.gci61.181103203554.photo00.default-266x390.jpg)
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Now, where'd I put that broom? I'm sure it's around here somewhere.
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I gotta wonder, how does he speak? I mean, if he opens his mouth he is going to get a mouthful of metal strap...
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"Its a Mans life in the American Horseguards!"
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"I bet I can keep a straight face wearing this hat longer than you can keep a straight face looking it."
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/nm/20031027/mdf391072.jpg)
(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20031118/i/r1206072693.jpg)
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1- "Hey, stop poking me with your foot." The other two men giggle.
2- "This is what I'll do for a klondike bar." His wife then proceeded to beat him with a rubber chicken.
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20031121/capt.bei10911211833.mideast_lebanon_israel_prison_bei109.jpg)
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Look at us! We're the american army!
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Iraq the Musical
one two kick turn, turn kick kick turn.
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"We're men! (manly men) We're men in Tiiiiights."
"Hey Sam, we're not wearing tights."
"Shut up and sing."
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(http://myjokemail.com/pictures/WetFace.jpg)
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Apparently the ewoks are pleased about this new technology called "indoor plumbing."
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I don't think that picture even needs a caption...
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Hey, where'd it go?
I liked that one.
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20031215/capt.sge.opb01.151203121509.photo00.default-316x384.jpg)
"Oh Yasser I love your big brown eyes, will I ever see them again"
"Saddam one day this cruel war will be over and then we can express our love in the open."
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"disturbing"
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Glasgow Kiss time!
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"Yasser, you can share my hole in the ground anytime."
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(http://www.humor911.com/pub/innslag/bilder/1204.jpg)
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"Wow, I'm glad I didn't touch the edges of that si- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
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(http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20040105/capt.sge.tik28.050104205621.photo00.default-380x252.jpg)
"All right!!! Steve Irwin brought Lunch!"
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Roy Horn used to let us play with his kids, but now all we get to do is sit around and eat soy food.
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(http://www.csulb.edu/~rlewis4/Bush.JPG)
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"Press cancel! Press cancel!"
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its like a virus!
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I love this picture
(http://zachk.sixbit.org/images/bush/monkey.jpg)
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(http://www.stud.ntnu.no/~shane/stasj/pics/humor/div/stormtrooper_tk1691crotch.jpg)
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"In case you didn't know, I'm a hopeless geek."
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"Yes, it IS my parents' house, why?"
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"I may not be able to hit anything with my blaster, but you can't deny we look good dancing."
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Take that you rebel scum!
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"Echo base is ours commander!"
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"Yo yo Yo, it's the Big Daddy S, Storm Trizzooper, rollin' and playin' at you in the hizzle-nizzle of a hizz-oouse! Don't you be startin' nothin' wid me, cos' I be gettin' medievel in a REAL PHAT sort of way upside you wid a quickness! Rollin' wid da nine at mah back, ya hear! Yo, playa hater, i be chillin' and killin' but I got no time to chizzat, cos I gotta Splizzat cos I have to be rollin' a forty with the B to the L to the U to the N to the T, ya know what I say? Pizzeace out!"
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(http://images.thesun.co.uk/picture/0,,2004041086,00.gif)
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meet your new MTC companion.
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(http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20040204/i/r3886025287.jpg)
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I don't know what he's looking at- she's not even that pretty.
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(http://www.lemoncandy.com/dragoncon/maya0037.JPG)
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Elvis isn't dead, he just joined the Imperial forces.
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So if I take a goofy looking picture with this guy and spread it around, will it make the fanboys like me less.. or more?
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(http://koti.mbnet.fi/~ghouli/1078024187178.jpg)
(http://koti.mbnet.fi/~ghouli/student_driver.jpg)
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And heres that guys bumper sticker!!!!
(http://htomc.dns2go.com/downloads/cthulhu.gif)