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Messages - WriterDan

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406
Books / Re: What are you reading, part 3
« on: May 21, 2007, 10:43:17 PM »
Really?  Didn't know that simple peons like myself could do such a thing.  Is there a list of  "book review do's and don'ts" somewhere on the site?"  Or should I just check out what's been done before and copy the format?  I'd love to blab my opinion.  :)  How do I submit it?  At this point I'm guessing that all this info is somewhere and I should probably just make my lazy fingers get off of their respective butts and click the mouse a time or two.  I'll look.  Thanks for the info.

Edit:  So, I just kicked my fingers into gear and found some guidelines.  Oddly enough, there's no specific guidelines for books... everything but, in fact, it seems.  :)  I'll check out previous reviews, but it might be nice to have a list of things to include in a book review listed on the general TWG submission guidelines page (probably as altered by Fell as he's the original poster).  I'll be sure to put one up for The Name of the Wind as soon as I'm finished.  Thanks for mentioning this.  Should be fun.  :)

407
Writing Group / Re: Plea for Help
« on: May 16, 2007, 07:07:50 PM »
Okay, so here are my thoughts.  Please try your best to take them with a grain of salt.  I've been known to suggest too much, historically, and papers that I try to edit just end up looking like they have the bleeding death.  For each large suggestion, I'll try to put in a few examples that I see.  So, for what it's worth...

This is what I think needs some work:

1)  All of the information about fires:
                   -things I knew from elementary school
                   -explanation of what backdrafts are
                   -Was it a flashover? (I'm not even sure what this is...)
                   -feel the door before you open it to make sure it's not hot
                   -temperature inside a burning house
      make this sound more like something a fireman would read to a bunch of kids, and no so much a novel.  Also, it broke up the flow of the story quite a bit.

2)  Parents are pretty formal in their speech.  First part about grandma a bit Maid & Butlerish too. (We don't talk about her...)

3)  Sense of urgency/fear in the opening sequence with the fire has a lot of things that slow down the feel of the scene:
                  -hoping there might be some cleaner air down there (just make it cleaner and have him grateful for it)
                  -probably from flames below in the kitchen (more worry to get out than why the carpet is steaming)
                  -part of me kept praying it was  a nightmare (implies history, but he's just woken up.  Too soon to use this?)
                  -I should have been burned to a crisp right now (again, worry about mortality should be emphasized)
                  -Was my skin too badly damaged? (His clothes are still on fire at this point.  I think.)

4)  Need a bit more imagery:
                  -orange and yellow flames licking the walls (black/charred walls, waves of heat blasting over him -- that is
                          if he can even feel the heat.  And if not, why hasn't he noticed it until now?  Just curious...)
                  -middle of an inferno (same as above)
                  -smoke (word used a lot.  Maybe thick black clouds.  Or floating ash?)
                  -hospital room empty (include stuff to make it feel more real.  He's probably at least hooked up to some sort of machine for observation at this point: beeping, etc)

5)  First impression was that the main character was a girl.  Was kind of surprised when her name was Thomas, then figured out that it was a guy.  Don't know why I got that impression.  Maybe there could be some baseball posters on the walls?

6) He passed out really fast.  Very little suggestion of passing out prior to him blacking out.

7)  Final sentence pulls away from 1st person narrative feel and tries to grab suspense that the story hasn't yet earned.

Good stuff (again, I'm historically lean in this area...  sorry.):

1)  Started in the middle of a crisis -- always good.

2)  History with fire -- intriguing

3)  Major change in the near future, going to Slovakia -- encourages to read more

Final draft suggestions

1) Read aloud to yourself or someone else.  This helps me a TON.

2) Give yourself a day or so (more if you had the time) to get away from it, and then come back.  This helps me see lots of new edits that need to be done too.

Dang, I'm jealous.  :)  Best of luck to you.

Dan

408
Writing Group / Re: Vampire idea help
« on: May 16, 2007, 06:22:01 PM »
Yeah, that's how "I am Legend" took care of it.  Some disease that was dormant when spread in the wind that became active once it got into your bloodstream.  Mabey it could be a parasite that the vamps implant into you.  The parasite could wrap around the victim's heart and grow to maturity.  So, a budding vampire could be "un-vampirized" if caught early enough.  Wodden stakes would have to be made of a special type of wood.  Has a special sap in it that is an anticoagulant for the parasite's blood.  Eh, I'm rambling now...

409
Books / Re: review: Twilight
« on: May 16, 2007, 06:15:23 PM »
Coming quick.  New Moon didn't get released all that long ago from what I remember.   I wonder if the rest will come out as quickly.   She apparently has rough material for like 7 or 8 books in this series from what she says.

410
Books / Re: review: Twilight
« on: May 15, 2007, 11:13:06 PM »
I've tossed the idea of reading the sequel around for quite a while.  Don't know that I'll ever get around to it, what with all the other great stuff that is out there right now, but I'd probably be open to reading it if just for her writing.  Not amazing, but worthwhile.  I'll probably pick it up based on the fact that you liked it better than the original.

411
Books / Re: review: Twilight
« on: May 14, 2007, 07:31:28 PM »
I actually read this one too, despite the fact that I'm sooooo far out of her targeted audience.  I agree with you completely about the plot.  Frustrating.  But a decent "fun" read.  Great review.

412
Books / Re: What are you reading, part 3
« on: May 11, 2007, 07:40:04 PM »
Got "The Name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss in front of my face now.  He's a WotF winner from 2002, and this is his debut book.  Big.  And pretty good so far.

413
Writing Group / Re: Writing Attachment and Seperation
« on: April 23, 2007, 08:15:25 PM »
And thus it comes to my attention (as it has so many times before) that I defintely don't think in similar veins to most people and that when I try to explain something, I usually end up garbling it something fierce.

First specific replies:
Stacer:
I agree about the giving feedback bit entirely.  I think that the level to which you can be "blatantly honest" needs to be controlled and that for some, no matter what you say they're not going to agree.  Also, I guess that I'm seeing this whole attachment vs. detachment thing differently.  Instead of "detachment with feedback" I figured that "attachment in maturity with feedback" is the best way to handle it.  Also I agree that
Writing should be a job, if you're going to be a professional in this field. You have to know how to hit a schedule and write from your heart.
I should have refered to an overly ambitious contractual schedule.  And it was just as a possibility.  I'm sure that there are any number of other reasons that people decide to just write with a detached perspective.  Something doesn't have to be written slowly to be part of the author, but I think that there comes a point when it becomes increasingly more difficult for a writer to become attached to something as the timeframe to finish gets shorter and shorter.  There is definitely a balance here.

SE:
I guess that I came across wrong here too.  In my comments (at least in my mind) I haven't included the reader at all.  I was just talking about the creation.  I agree that readers can take creative works to a whole new level of understanding that the writer never intended in the first place.  That part of sharing is up to them.  Entirely.  Authors that purposefully try to manipulate emotions usually just tend to annoy me. 
I guess on the whole that I feel that things that are created (written) by people can't help but contain pieces of the author because everything comes from their head.  If someone else were to write the exact same story in different words, then the story would affect readers differently.

42:
I think that the crux of my argument is wrapped up in what you said.  Maybe I should have just pulled your comment from the, at that time, future, and post it.  I need better time travel skills.  When I mention separation though, I'm thinking in absolutes.  Some degree of separation, I think, is good and needs to be part of the creative process.  Just don't chop it off and forget about it though.  Some attachment needs to still be there.
Funny you should mention parenting.  I think that this parallels very well, and can be compared to having to boot a child out of your house.  Part of you is invested in that child, and you're not going to just cut them off and forget about them.  But you know that having that child move out will help them to grow and make them better.  It's for the best.  Just don't become totally detached.  Don't forget em.  That's my point.  (At least, I like to think that it is.  Hope it came across better this time...)

Later.

414
Writing Group / Re: Writing Attachment and Seperation
« on: April 20, 2007, 07:28:52 PM »
I have to admit up front that this is a very interesting topic and one that is integral to artists/musicians/writers (but most specifically writers in my case, because that's what I'm attempting to be).  It is actually one that (sort of) came up in a conversation I had with some friends the other night.  I had asked them if they'd be open to reading a few of the short stories that I've written.  They said sure, and one of them asked what kind of response I wanted back because he knew a lot of people that had the opinion "so, read this, but if you don't like it... don't tell me" attitude towards responses.  I kind of chuckled and told him to be as brutally honest as possible.  When it comes to things like this, I want to know what you really think.  I'm not worried about negative comments... as long as they don't take the form of personal insults to my intelligence or heritage.

Anyhow, I have a hard time believing that ANYONE can put something like this together (painting/song/story) without  the result being some part of them.  And that if they can, then I think that they have, unfortunately, just learned to do so for some reason or another.  It has become a job to them, instead of creative meandering, which it should be.  I think that SE's comment about working on laptops falls directly into this category.  Fixing a laptop at a place of employment isn't something that I'd place into the "creative meanderings" category.  It's something that you do, and get paid for it.  Something like that doesn't create a connection.  The creative process though, I believe, does.  For instance, if SE were to, say, build a laptop from the ground up, I think that that particular laptop would hold special significance, unlike the routine fixing of something that is not a part of him.

I really don't think (again this is all imho) that an author needs to make that separation when the edits come, and is actually important that he/she doesn't allow that to happen.  The attachment needs to stay, and the maturity level (as so importantly expressed by SE) of the author is shown in how those edits happen.  Just as in our personal lives, if someone gives us a suggestion on what we should or should not be doing, it shows a certain level of maturity to be able to take that information and use it, should we agree.  We do this to become better people.  I think that if detachment were to EVER occur in the creative process, we might as well throw away the whole piece entirely, because if we allow ourselves to become detached and not care what happens to our work of art/music/literature, it then becomes someone else's to mold and form to what they want to see.  As creators, we need to understand that what we do is not perfect, and can always be made better through suggestion and revision, but still keep the attachment to the piece, which is so necessary to its survival.

The idea that I put forth earlier, that creators can sometimes become detached from their creations, I think happens sometimes in the writing field, when an author has to write so much (for one example, to keep to the strict publishing schedule as set by their contract with a publisher) that their writing becomes more and more a job, and therefore less and less a part of them.  Their whole heart doesn't go into the project and we (the public) end up with books that, quite frankly, aren't that good.  I think that this regularly happens because authors write while detached from the story.  They just want to bang it out and let it fly instead of forming something that is more a part of them.  That's frustrating for readers.  Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but I think that in the wide view of things this is true in just about every discipline.  The quality of work is diminished considerably if you are not attached to what you are doing.  If you want a rocking chair that is going to last, are you going to go to a carpenter or are you going to take a trip to Walmart?

If an author cares for the story that he/she is developing, then it is incumbent upone them to make sure that that essential connection between creator and created is there.  That is, if you want the story to do something other than moulder in your desk drawers, gathering dust and cobwebs.  Granted, if you're going to just write some throwaway fiction, then don't worry about it.  It's not going to go anywhere anyhow, and therefore doesn't need the connection.

The point is, if you're serious about telling stories, make sure that you're attached to what ends up on the paper, and realize that to make the story everything that it can be, changes will have to come.  Just don't allow those changes to break the connection to what you've written.  It is, after all, just an extension of who you are.   Or at least, it should be.

415
Books / Re: What are you reading, part 3
« on: April 19, 2007, 09:28:58 PM »
Reading Stranger in a Strange Land for the first time.  Pretty good so far.  I also picked up Darwin's Black Box today, which was actually in the non-fiction section, but thought it sounded pretty interesting. 

416
Brandon Sanderson / Re: Unbelievable (SPOILERS)
« on: April 02, 2007, 08:02:31 PM »
Error: No such target.


(ooo... that one's going to get me into some trouble)

ROFLMBO.  That was killer.

417
Movies and TV / Re: review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
« on: April 02, 2007, 07:54:04 PM »
The first scooby-doo (I think it was, anyhow...) really bugged me because Scrappy ended up being the bad guy.  It was like MI-1.  Head guy's the turncoat?  Yeah right.  Haven't seen the turtles movie yet though.  Was kind of turned off by the "monsters at midnight" thing that they had going on.  I mean, what ever happened to the Shredder?  Monsters?  Just seemed like a bit much.  I'll probably grab it when it comes out on DVD, but won't be seeing this one in the theatres.  Similar to Eragon.  Just doesn't look like it'd be worth the money to me.

418
Books / Re: What are you reading, part 3
« on: March 21, 2007, 05:46:58 PM »
So, Lies had a pretty weak ending in my opinon.  Decided to pick up a mystery novel:  James Patterson's 1st to Die.  Interesting, is about all I can say right now.  Murder mystery.  And I'm buring through the thing.  SHORT chapters.

419
Music / Re: Cool Lyrics the 2nd
« on: March 13, 2007, 06:23:13 PM »
And ya have no reason,
to be so insolent to me.
You're so pretty the way you are.

420
Books / Re: What are you reading, part 3
« on: March 13, 2007, 05:52:30 PM »
Just got into a book called The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch.  It's his debut novel and acutally quite good so far.  Thats two for two for me with books endorsed by George R. R. Martin.  Last one was A Shadow in Summer, which was excellent.

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