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Reading Excuses / Re: August 8th - Akoebel - The Fifth Compendium, Chapter 8
« on: August 22, 2011, 09:03:48 AM »
Thanks for the feedback, Cjhuitt.
The first part about her ducking to evade the assistant was a late addition. My alpha reader commented that Ciera seemed to be the only person inside the library besides her boss, and that in general, we don't see in the manuscript that the world is actually filled with people. That got me thinking that I needed to add some interaction with the assistants. Ciera being the asocial person that she is, I had her evade the assistant instead of talking to her. To me, it was only a reminder for the reader that she's still a very scared character.
For the "cover to cover" part, I never actually thought she would finish her "cataloguing" in one half-chime sitting. I'll have to correct that.
For the confrontation with Denalia, I'm glad you mentioned that. I'll consider it.
The chronology part actually bothered me while I was writing it. The original scene was Ciera remembering the fight with Denalia, which didn't break the time continuity, but felt as passive. My choice here was to rewrite the thing by rewinding time a little.
Once again, thanks for your very helpful comments.
The first part about her ducking to evade the assistant was a late addition. My alpha reader commented that Ciera seemed to be the only person inside the library besides her boss, and that in general, we don't see in the manuscript that the world is actually filled with people. That got me thinking that I needed to add some interaction with the assistants. Ciera being the asocial person that she is, I had her evade the assistant instead of talking to her. To me, it was only a reminder for the reader that she's still a very scared character.
For the "cover to cover" part, I never actually thought she would finish her "cataloguing" in one half-chime sitting. I'll have to correct that.
For the confrontation with Denalia, I'm glad you mentioned that. I'll consider it.
The chronology part actually bothered me while I was writing it. The original scene was Ciera remembering the fight with Denalia, which didn't break the time continuity, but felt as passive. My choice here was to rewrite the thing by rewinding time a little.
Once again, thanks for your very helpful comments.