Timewaster's Guide Archive
Local Authors => Writing Group => Topic started by: Tage on January 10, 2007, 08:49:10 PM
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So, I never come down here to writer land, but a friend of mine showed me this site that I think you regulars will really appreciate.
http://bulwer-lytton.com/
Awards for worst opening lines and other one-liners.
Here's a tasty sample:
Runner-Up
"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' - well do you, punk?"
Stuart Vasepuru
Edinburgh, Scotland
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Ah, man, that's almost exactly like the opening to my latest novel!
No, seriously, whenever I start feeling like my writing is horrible, all I need to do is swing over the this website, and I'll realize it really isn't that bad. ;)
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Those are purposefully bad, though. The Bulwer-Lytton contest is writers *trying* to write the worst opening lines. They have some really funny ones usually.
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I know, but it still is worse than my writing, which is trying to be good.
It makes me feel better, and that's all that matters. ;)