Author Topic: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A Poli  (Read 4747 times)

gamersman75

  • Guest
Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A Poli
« on: April 09, 2006, 06:26:22 AM »
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"



wellcome to SPAM







« Last Edit: April 09, 2006, 10:11:43 PM by Spriggan »

FirstMateJack

  • Level 12
  • *****
  • Posts: 485
  • Fell Points: 0
  • Only one man can kill this many Russians.
    • View Profile
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2006, 05:54:36 PM »
Why don't you try catching the real criminals, pig.


This is a thing to never ever say. I know... I asked one once.
Delicious! Like a tall cool glass of Nestle' Quik mixed in Orange Juice!

Harbinger

  • Level 10
  • *
  • Posts: 416
  • Fell Points: 0
  • Goes up to eleven
    • View Profile
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2006, 09:37:28 PM »
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

That one works best if you slur your speech when you say it.
Fighter, your intelligence is found to be lacking when compared to the average intelligence of a group of your peers. -White Mage

Small boys throw stones at frogs in jest. But the frogs do not die in jest. The frogs die in earnest. -Pliny the Elder

Spriggan

  • Administrator
  • Level 78
  • *****
  • Posts: 10582
  • Fell Points: 31
  • Yes, I am this awesome
    • View Profile
    • Legacies Lost
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2006, 12:34:14 AM »
What's the oblem Profficer?
Screw it, I'm buying crayons and paper. I can imagineer my own adventures! Wheeee!

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.


42

  • RPG Editors
  • Level 56
  • *
  • Posts: 4350
  • Fell Points: 8
  • Unofficial World Saver
    • View Profile
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2006, 04:20:07 AM »
I was driving? Go me!
The Folly of youth is to think that intelligence is a subsitute for experience. The folly of age is to think that experience is a subsitute for intelligence.

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

  • Administrator
  • Level 96
  • *****
  • Posts: 19211
  • Fell Points: 17
  • monkeys? yes.
    • View Profile
    • herb's world
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2006, 09:02:10 AM »
You look just like the guy I hit and ran last week!

FirstMateJack

  • Level 12
  • *****
  • Posts: 485
  • Fell Points: 0
  • Only one man can kill this many Russians.
    • View Profile
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2006, 12:28:17 PM »
Is that Hat form fitting?

Give me a break, I was just out with your daughter!

(These will probably get you into loads of trouble!)
« Last Edit: April 11, 2006, 12:28:47 PM by FirstMateJack »
Delicious! Like a tall cool glass of Nestle' Quik mixed in Orange Juice!

The Lost One

  • Level 13
  • *
  • Posts: 560
  • Fell Points: 0
  • Good lawyers live well, work hard, and die poor.
    • View Profile
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2006, 01:17:34 PM »
And your "probable cause" for this illegal stop is?

(Okay, maybe only lawyers and police officers would get this.)
A peasant between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

  • Administrator
  • Level 96
  • *****
  • Posts: 19211
  • Fell Points: 17
  • monkeys? yes.
    • View Profile
    • herb's world
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #8 on: April 11, 2006, 01:29:05 PM »
that's cute! The lawyer thinks he's so smart that "probable cause" is beyond us plebians!

FirstMateJack

  • Level 12
  • *****
  • Posts: 485
  • Fell Points: 0
  • Only one man can kill this many Russians.
    • View Profile
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2006, 01:48:46 PM »
Pff.. duh! Only Patricians are capable of understanding words found in the constitution and various law books!!!

:P  ;D ;D
« Last Edit: April 11, 2006, 03:24:20 PM by FirstMateJack »
Delicious! Like a tall cool glass of Nestle' Quik mixed in Orange Juice!

Maxwell

  • Level 30
  • *
  • Posts: 1686
  • Fell Points: 0
  • JewManG!!
    • View Profile
    • why not?
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2006, 04:01:16 AM »
Police: Assume the position.
Aja:I usually get dinner first
Police: ujh...err....uhm..nevermind. Drive safe m'am.

Works for my sister every time.
Tappin my feet the the beat of original sin.
http://thenauticalcamel.blogspot.com/

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

  • Administrator
  • Level 96
  • *****
  • Posts: 19211
  • Fell Points: 17
  • monkeys? yes.
    • View Profile
    • herb's world
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2006, 08:57:44 AM »
how freaking often does she get told to "assume the position?" That's messed up.

The Lost One

  • Level 13
  • *
  • Posts: 560
  • Fell Points: 0
  • Good lawyers live well, work hard, and die poor.
    • View Profile
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2006, 12:26:21 PM »
Quote
Posted by: The Lost One Posted on: Apr 11th, 2006, 10:17am
And your "probable cause" for this illegal stop is?

(Okay, maybe only lawyers and police officers would get this.)  
Posted by: E-ster Bun-E Posted on: Apr 11th, 2006, 10:29am
that's cute! The lawyer thinks he's so smart that "probable cause" is beyond us plebians!  
Posted by: FirstMateJack Posted on: Apr 11th, 2006, 10:48am
Pff.. duh! Only Patricians are capable of understanding words found in the constitution and various law books!!!  


Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that the technical term "probable cause" was beyond anyone although my days in court have lead to believe that most people are very ignorant of the term and that police officers and lawyers having a different opinion about what it means (with the lawyers usually being right b/c we made up the term).

Some of my favorite erroneous police officer definitions of probable cause are:

We had probable cause because he was hispanic (or black or muslim or asian).

  • We had probable cause because he was driving in our county at night.
  • We had probable cause because he wouldn't let us into his house.
  • We had probable cause becasue we found the drugs after we stopped him.
  • We had probable cause because the whole city is a high crime area.


A peasant between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

  • Administrator
  • Level 96
  • *****
  • Posts: 19211
  • Fell Points: 17
  • monkeys? yes.
    • View Profile
    • herb's world
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2006, 12:32:02 PM »
oh, I'm sure a lot of cops have "probable cause" signals that include things like the long hair I had as a teenager.

And I'm sure a lot of people think that probable cause goes the other way. "You didn't see me commit a crime so you didn't have probable cause!"

FirstMateJack

  • Level 12
  • *****
  • Posts: 485
  • Fell Points: 0
  • Only one man can kill this many Russians.
    • View Profile
Re: Things You Should Never Say When Stopped By A
« Reply #14 on: April 12, 2006, 01:40:50 PM »
Hahaha, That is funny, silly police officers and civilians.

I have an unhealthy obsession with fast and good looking cars, (I am currently building a '65 Shelby Cobra replica) and I have been pulled over more than once for nothing but being a male late at night in a nicer than normal looking car.

Me: "How come you pulled me over?"
Officer: "No front license plate"
Me: "Lady at the DMV told me you can't pull me over for that, you can only ticket me if I am pulled over for something else."
Officer: "No, I can, cause I did."

Therefore,

I physically can=I am supposed to.


hehe, there are mistakes on both ends.

Anyway, I think it is funny, I wasn't saying you are saying all civilians are dumb, I was just making a joke!

...soo... can a cop pull me over for no front license plate in Utah? I am pretty sure the DMV person said no.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2006, 01:41:14 PM by FirstMateJack »
Delicious! Like a tall cool glass of Nestle' Quik mixed in Orange Juice!