This reminds me distinctly of an article that was just published in the UVSC newspaper. No, I don't attend school there, but my sister and her husband do. It's a little long, but a good example of how closed minded people can be...or how badly what might have been meant as a joke can be displayed.
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The quill and the sword
by Nick Johnson
February 26, 2006
This is serious, very serious. It is a time to be afraid, or maybe just ashamed. A great evil is spreading across Happy Valley. Believe it or not, its dark hand can now be seen befouling our fair campus. Why have the leaders of our school let this go unopposed? Why has the President done nothing? Why UVSC? Why God, why?
They have already become entrenched at the "Y;" we cannot let UVSC share the same awful fate. It is time to take a stand, time to stop this horrible menace before it spreads any further. In the last few weeks I have seen an ever-increasing number of "them" around campus.
This insidious group is known as the "Quill and the Sword." They can be recognized by a few characteristics. They can frequently be seen carrying wooden swords, often holstered through the belt loop of their jeans. Many of the bolder ones have been known to wear latex elf ears to school. Their females often wear dresses from the freaking Middle Ages. They can also be recognized by the two primary physical effects of this dark plague. These symptoms include an unusually high occurrence of acne and increasingly bad vision, often necessitating the use of glasses.
At great personal risk I have infiltrated their organization. My preliminary research has given me some ideas how this infection is spread. They will start by harmlessly asking you to play a game of "Magic" or "Dungeons and Dragons." Maybe they will invite you over to watch Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter. This is how it begins.
My early findings also indicate one single antidote. As you may have already guessed, ridicule is the only remedy. Constant, unrelenting ridicule is the only weapon we have to stop them.
I urge you to action... today, while there is still time! What will the world think if we let this embarrassing blight remain on the fine veneer of our campus? As for me, if I begin exhibiting any of these symptoms I beg you to do what needs to be done. I would certainly do it for any of you. Why is it okay to bring a replica sword or battle-ax to school? Anyone who brought a machine gun or pistol would be dismissed immediately, or sent directly to jail. All I know is that if I see any more of them, I will be forced to skewer them with their own wooden sword. I don't like it, but someone must do it, and I for one have never hesitated to defend my community. After all, "it is better that one [elf] perish, then a whole [college] dwindle in [this absurdity]." It is really in their best interest as well as ours.
In addition to the aforementioned measures, I propose that we create a new school amendment banishing all appearances of this evil. This would include all the infractions listed above, as well as: books by Robert Jordan and Christopher Paolini, all fantasy computer games, Mystery Science Theatre and any associated movie soundtracks.
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I think one of the best responses to such a situation that I've heard came from Steven C. Walker when a college noticed he was reading Earthsea and gave him grief. His response was: "I read fantasy because I like it." And that was bout the size of that. You roleplay because you like it, and if God has a problem with that it's a problem between you and him.
~J
