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Messages - Renoard

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931
Everything Else / Re: In Utah for a couple weeks
« on: April 06, 2009, 05:35:28 PM »
Ookla You move you'll have to become Ookp  Not nearly as evocative...

932
Reading Excuses / Re: 6 April 2009 - Sea of Sand - Part 2
« on: April 06, 2009, 03:31:51 PM »
Ryos I'd like for you to go ahead and forward part one.  Thanks for the early submission, it'll help me ease in. ;P


I get the sense that these are colonists or the descendants of colonists. If that's not where you are going then I apologize for being thick.  I find that I do care about Selendy, and I cared about Toma (till you murdered him :) ).  Hafona a little less so, but I do want to know more.  I want to know more about their faith, their history and their world.  I think you are seeding the revelations nicely so that we aren't being lectured and neither are the characters.  It's a crisp and enjoyable read.

I think you are handling technology well.  If my understanding of the origins of these people is correct then it makes sense that they would have a mix of cottage industry and technology that is dependent on their resources and may have evolved over time.  Or not, we're still at the discovery stage so the possibilities are open enough that my mind is going in different directions to sort the pieces.

I particularly like the Oilfish Bulbs idea. Everyone lives at in a city big enough to have slums, the land is denuded and near the sea so no wood and they use sea life for fuel.  I wonder what the boat (catamaran?) is made from though.


On the down side:

The early part of this passage was a little difficult.  If I had encountered this in a setting where I wasn't required to read, I would have stopped before I got any further and would have missed out on the story.  This might not be true if I'd started from part 1 and being a new reader I account for that.  What I had difficulty with was the use of "indecisve man" juxtaposed with the "decisive man".  It may be a pet peeve but it felt a little stilted to have the men described by such childish sorts of labels, but I haven't read part one yet and that might be covered in the characterization of Selendy.

Given the patchy technology and the lack of resources, if there is not land for wood and everyone lives at sea, where does a flower like cotton grow?

I'm assuming from posts about part one that the priestess who sent them upriver gave Selendy a knife and that she used it to cut Hafona free.

Quote
The realization punched through her panic and shattered it like ice. She took a deep, calming breath.
I don't know how to say this and not be sexist: This reaction didn't ring true for me.  It wasn't very feminine to have her panic shatter from something as simple as logic, after he'd had to chase her down and tackle her.  Alternatively, I could see her submitting in order to try and placate him, or resisting hystercally.

It seems to me that she would have felt the need to dance around the topic of her own murder.  If she is really conflicted it seems odd she'd let a stranger in too deeply.  Seems she might have tried to get him to tell her what she wanted without revealing much.

Above all thanks for sharing your work.  I look forward to part 3.

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Brandon Sanderson / Re: WOT Help
« on: April 06, 2009, 02:50:37 AM »
Amazon had the year set to 2025....

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Howard Tayler / Re: What Would Schlock Do?
« on: April 06, 2009, 02:48:32 AM »
Scooby Doo?  Sigh! leave it to the manga guy....

935
Howard Tayler / Re: I'm so pathetic
« on: April 04, 2009, 01:46:06 PM »
Just remember to shower and don your EVA suit before reading.

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Howard Tayler / Re: What Would Schlock Do?
« on: April 04, 2009, 01:44:36 PM »
For a person of Howard's religious persuasion WWSD might have a different connotation...

 8)

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Rants and Stuff / Re: I would like to announce!
« on: April 04, 2009, 01:42:28 PM »
I'm only posting to torment Shaggy.

If it really does get too annoying (e.g. I receive a sack of bandini fertilizer from spriggan and my stuffed animals are hacked apart by fell's steak knives) I'll just drop it from my sig line.  I wasn't trying to steal as much as imitate and in flattery.

Not being a techno fan, a macbook user, or a fan of Panic at the Disco (I'm old enough to prefer radiohead and clash) I just dropped those banners and added some originals that did fit.  It think it was on miyabi's read through that the really jarring collisions were happening. :P

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Reading Excuses / Re: Writing Groups: An Essay by Dan Wells
« on: April 04, 2009, 01:32:43 PM »
Okay one point of confusion on my part.  I was of the impression that most submissions were very early drafts.  I'd expect a large number of typos in that.  Doesn't remarking the grammar and spelling get in the way of following critical content of the piece at this point in it's development? (e.g. plotting, mood, characterization)

I guess I'm over thinking given that I haven't gotten anything to read yet.  (I'm waiting for the next cycle on the 8'th)

Is most of the critical commentary done here in a thread or privately?

Will I be lynched for tending toward reader response? }>

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Books / Re: My readthrough of WoT (**Spoilers**)
« on: April 04, 2009, 01:12:16 PM »
Ok, [snip]

First, they are both excerpts from histories.  Notice that everything in both of them is in past tense.

[snip]

The prologue occurs at the very end of the Second Age, also known as the Age of Legends.  The series proper occurs near the end of the Third Age.  The two excerpts at the end of the prologue are from histories written early in the Fourth Age after the end of the series.

I thought I said that... Of course not so clearly outlined. 

And yeah I don't think it's a spoiler to point that out either.  But the madness question is getting into that.  I had a thought in all this I think I'll pm Douglas with.

940
Books / Re: My readthrough of WoT (**Spoilers**)
« on: April 03, 2009, 11:52:50 PM »
Renoard speaks the word of power "Mua dhib!" and the spoiler is blasted into a million fragments.

Seriously, if you think about the description of the madness -- violence, killing, paranoia -- you really have to admit that no male channeler is free from the madness.  One kind of violent sociopathic madness is much the same as the other, to the victims.

941
Books / Re: My readthrough of WoT (**Spoilers**)
« on: April 03, 2009, 10:57:15 PM »
In my opinion the pacing is just right.  But it is scaled as if the story were one novel in multiple volumes.  There isn't much of the traditional upslope, climax fall-off in each volume.  The series as a whole does follow that pattern.  

The action speeds up and slows in points for different characters.  In my opinion however there is a huge upsurge in action some time after they head north.

I think every book has one or more real upsurges in action.  But which characters are central to the action shifts.

Ah I would have taken a stab at the questions, except that I was seriously concerned about spoiling...

From a purely technical perspective it is possible that men can channel.  But think about the things that moiraine is teaching the girls about wilders versus those with the spark, then apply that to men who have no Aes Sedai support system.  Also what he said, violent mania like Lews Therin in the prologue... not an attractive future.

942
That's sad.

943
Books / Re: My readthrough of WoT (**Spoilers**)
« on: April 03, 2009, 08:46:32 PM »
Not sure where you have gotten to so far geographically or chronologically, but the story will pick up.  The disorientation you are dealing with is supposed to make you sympathize with the kids.

Were you looking for spoilers to answer those questions? :P

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Reading Excuses / Re: Email List + Submission Dates
« on: April 03, 2009, 08:36:00 PM »
Jason I just tried to click and navigate to your website and my browser just couldn't handle htTtp: as a protocol. :(

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I have to say I really hope they don't do the AMoL vols 1, 2 & 3.  If the books are finished enough to publish separately they deserve Names of their own.  AMoL sould be reserved for the last volume.  Of course the first volume books have to be at the printer already if they are planning on Oct or Nov releases.  It would be hard to distribute enough copys to stock the Borders and B&Ns in all the little towns that will be clamoring.

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