Sorry about being late, I meant to do this far sooner.
Rape scenes are hard to write, so I also don’t fault you for not writing it, however what you’re saying in the synopsis is that no rape actually took place yet – the characters were just in time to stop it from happening, leaving the prisoner unscathed. So maybe I’m getting this wrong, but you’re not actually writing a rape scene or even the lead in if the scenes are told from Jhuz’s perspective. Also, if the two would-be rapists are very drunk, would the guards believe that such drunk men were sent to rough up the prisoner for interrogation?
My thinking is that if it’s hard to write emotionally the scene will be just that more powerful to read. If you’re really set against a rape maybe the story doesn’t need it to continue – a severe beating or torture might suffice, if that produces the same end result. But if the rape is necessary I’d advise you to try and write it anyway, no matter how hard. And if you doubt the validity of the scene because you’re not comfortable with it, let us read it, since it won’t have the same baggage for us as for you writing it.
There are many alternatives too, such as having Jhuz show up when the rape is done or nearly done, that way the characters can quickly deal with the rapists and you can write the prisoner’s aftermath – beaten, her clothes ripped to shreds, edging as far away from anyone who approaches her. That can be a strong scene too.
In comparison the rest of the chapter feels dull compared to what could have been a very powerful start. That’s not to say it’s a bad chapter, because it isn’t. The prisoner isn’t actually raped so there isn’t that much emotional investment for the reader. Jhuz and Zaisha also go back to the normal affairs of the army rather than face any emotional turmoil.
The rest of the chapter doesn’t give us anything really new and when Jhuz walks to the flyer’s camp, while interesting to learn about the flyers, I’d rather see more of the things you’re telling us in that segment. Flyers are ridiculed for wearing trousers, but I can’t remember ever having heard someone in the army say something like that. Similarly, you tell us how air battles are fought, but I’d rather see it – perhaps by seeing flyers spar with land-based troops or amongst each other.
I found the term ‘airman’ incongruous compared to the other titles the troops in the army have, such as priori, metsi, Decurion, and the others, though I know Jhuz is the Standard and I don’t mind that. Maybe I just got used to Standard when there weren't that many other terms around, but now I just feel that airman is strange.