Hmm... seems I shall be the dissenter in the group this time, if only because I have more to say then 'cool.'
Thoughts While Reading:
... was dreadfully, painfully bored.
I'd be careful about using this as your hook line. If the character is that bored, I am ready to be bored too and I don't like being bored.
His fiery throne blazed
This seems redundant. What else would a fiery throne do?
Long paragraphs to dump on character/description...
Which brought him back...
Did he ever leave it, or did he seriously stop for no apparent reason to think about how handsome he is?
I was thinking of the day I tore my own eye out.
Why are they talking about this now?
You are telling me far too much about your characters! Especially behavior/personality that can be so much better shown, like this:
his sister did have a certain kind of cold cunning
If she is cunning, just show me her being cunning.
Overall Impression: Okay, so Sathain is a great character. I did find him and your world building concepts interesting, but I did have a few issues with this chapter.
First, it just feels so random where you put it, after you already introduced Rachell and some of the more immediate conflict. There is a reason so often theology and the like are used as prologues, it just makes sense to start out broad and than hone in on the specific. This, doesn't make any kind of structural sense at all to have this new character that seems to be at least attempting to pull on all these strings added in as an afterthought, especially since it breaks up the introduction of your MC and the more immediate conflict that you started last chapter.
Another problem is that this chapter seems to be nothing but an infodump. You break for several paragraphs to dump on character/worldbuilding, which you do need occasionally and it was interesting, but in the end it became a problem because
nothing new happens here for these two characters. It is just another day in literally thousands and I don't see the immediate significance, the reason for this chapter's existence. I am sure you plan for it to pay off eventually, but I need some of the pay off now or they have no reason to be here yet.
On a more minor scale you need to make sure that the conversations and thoughts of characters are logical for them to have at the present moment. It takes readers out of the story if they are just doing it for our immediate benefit. I think you may be trying to hold our hands a bit too much in some of these description and characterization. I have a full novel to get to know everything well enough, so don't push it all on me at once. If you do, you'll wreck your pacing and I doubt most readers would remember it anyway.
One thing I noticed in your overall writing is that your summaries in the emails tend to be lot clearer to me than your chapters. I think that this may be because you have them so bogged down or maybe the plot points are just clearer now in your own head now that you have the full book in front of you. Use those to focus your writing, cutting out what we don't need and bringing out the more important/unique things that you will need us to remember.
Alright, sorry for all the rambling. I did like the character and it does make me a bit more excited for your world in general. I will look forward to reading the full book assuming I am one of the lucky few to receive it this week.