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Crashers

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AvalonDreamer:
It's good. Usually I dislike the use of prologues, and this doesn't help terribly much - it has it's merit about it, but I could see how it could easily be merged into the first chapter, unless the light ends up being something important later.

Your character seems like she has a lot of potential, but I think that starting a book on a debate may not be the best way to keep the attention of the average reader, though I have to say that it's definitely better than a long narrative introduction.

The one thing that I absolutely loved was the opening line of the prologue. IT made me want to keep reading, just to find out why the world might not be blue otherwise.

Keep going, and edit out those typos. ^^

little wilson:
Haha! Yes! I love the opening line. There's times when I look at it and go "hmm, I should change that." And yet when I try to think of something better, I just can't come up with anything....I think it's classic. Somewhat pointless in the overall scheme of things, yet classic nonetheless.

And maybe I shouldn't say this, but the light WILL become important later on. Not REALLY important, but the indicative factor of it is important... kind of....At least important enough that I want to draw attention to it, and make people go "what's that mean?"

And I know what you mean about the debate...I'm not really loving the way it starts out, but I haven't come up with anything better yet, and it IS better than a long narrative intro. Which was what I was trying to avoid.

And WEKM--you've got me curious where you think it's going to go, particularly when you say you think you've got it figured out....There's a chance you've guessed some things, but you're right--I have thought a LOT about this, and I'd like to think I've not made it completely obvious this early on.

Oh, and the whole destroying the planet thing. That's certain character's opinions. Not my own....I make a point not to give my characters opinions that side completely with my own. I may agree with portions of their statements, but I also disagree as well....Same with here. I don't think we're destroying the planet, but I do think there are things we could do better on (and I'm not referring to global warming....). So yeah, it's not some internal message I'm trying to bring out to change the world. That would be kind of....dumb.

Hayley:
Another one I like.

Reading it, I felt like I could relate to the realism of college, classroom debates etc, but also there's the tied in unfamiliarity of the science/technology areas.

....if that makes sense?

But it reads well, apart from the "I never thought I'd hear you say thought", but that's cleared up now from the above posts.

The prologue was good, too. Nice introduction.

I'm looking forward to reading more :)

WEKM:
Ok, one thing I am guessing at is that Ashley may have some of the abilities that were destroyed by the Crashers and it was her TK that trashed the picture.

little wilson:
Hmm....Interesting. I shall not divulge whether you are right or whether you are wrong....But you may find out more in Chapter 2...

Oh, and thank you Hayley. It did make sense.

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