Timewaster's Guide Archive
General => Rants and Stuff => Topic started by: JP Dogberry on June 23, 2005, 01:49:14 AM
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Just like "Compliment the person above you" but meaner!
There's noone above me, so I'll insult the thread.
This is a really stupid idea for a thread, and should be locked!
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Amazingly enough, I had an idea for a thread like this today. But only Jp would be stupid enough to follow through on something like this.
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And only Archon would be a suck-up enough to complement JP on this thread.
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You guys are all weirdos.
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Sacer is a sellout and works for the "Man".
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Spriggan IS the man, and since Stacer works for him, he must be a slaver AND a mysoginest.
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JP is just flat out retarded. He can't even figure out which side of the cardboard tube is the cutting edge.
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Yet, when SE is given a round room and told to sit in the corner, he is amused for hours for very little money! His zookeepers appreciate this.
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JP isn't actually Australian but in fact a Canadian.
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Spriggan has a coat. In July.
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Gemm spells to good!
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When Spriggan walks, he walks around!
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Gemm uses a normal Vocabulary and every word is something easily looked up in any common dictionary.
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Spriggan eats llamas. Live ones. To impress girls.
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SE is so out of touch that he doesn't realize llama-eating is perfectly normal these days.
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Archon, despite his name, is not one.
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Fell has not done his homework, as I, in fact, am an Archon. (I assume we are talking about the forum rank.)
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Archon looks like a freaking Junior Apprentice to me. What, can he not even read?
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Can Fell not even look in my profile, next to position?
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Archon has too much free time.
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Gemm is a tree-hugger.
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Jade Knight is a festering, mouldy, grotesquely ugly, vile, hideous abomination of flesh and corpulance. He is so fat, that I must ask "Is it gonna be a boy or a girl?"
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JamPaladin is moronic enough to not know that I'm underweight. (Trying to make up the difference though)
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JadeKnight is actually imcompatible with any season under Fall.
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Gemm is a festering, mouldy, grotesquely ugly, vile, hideous abomination of flesh and corpulance. He is so fat, that I must comment:
"Hey dude, on a scale of one to ten, you're a fat pig!"
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JP lacks the creativity to come up with a second list of negative adjectives.
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SE is such a scapegoat.
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Archon is a sequel.
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Gemm is a gay homosexual who is gay. But there's nothing wrong with that. He is, however, a poo-head.
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JP is highly unlikely to ever get a girl, aside from the ones he finds on the sides of the highways because that's where they go after they've lost their charm.
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Never, not unlikely. Gemm is to stupid to know how much I suck with women. (Hey, I said Above, not directly above, and I'm above me).
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JP is so messed up that his problems couldn't be solved in his lifetime, even with Chimera's assistance.
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Archon is a newb.
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SE is level 86 and still a n00b.
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JP will ALWAYS be a n00b.
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SE has n00b between his teeth and looks stupid.
If he didn't have n00b between his teeth, he would look stupid anyway.
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JP dresses up as a Japanese School girl and prances around saying "I'm pretty!"
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Sprig fantasizes about Japanese school girls.
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JadeKnight fantasizes about Spriggan fantasizing about JamPaladin fantazing about being a Japanese school girl.
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e eats everything. (HAHAHAHHAHA!)
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Gemm is deluded enough not to notice the quote in his sig is actually a fine example of SE being sarcastic.
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Gopher is deluded enough not to recognize that Gemm is a "he" and not a "she".
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Spriggan is deluded enough not to notice that he is a "He" and not a "She".
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Both of you are deluded enough to still think that my typos countfor anything, at all, ever.
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I'm reminded of the saying: "Never argue with an idiot. People won't be able to tell the difference.
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e is an idiot who can't even insult the person above him directly.
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Jam is an idiot incapable of grasping subtleties.
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e had a stupid van in highschool and he would make geeky star-trek commentary about his speed!
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Oseleon thinks comments about how cool people were as teenagers is an insult.
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e is a delusional schitzophrenic who imagined people who thought he was cool in highschool
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There you go, talking all nice to me again.
Oseleon smells funny.
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e has an abnormally large and acute nose that allows him to smell people through the Internet
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Chimera doesn't catch on very quickly.
(besides, that's more of a disadvantage than an insult. Do you know how many geeks take showers? Answer: not enough. Probably all of you guys are among their number)
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I can use deodorant
e needs a plastic surgeon to fix his problem
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Osleon is easily convinced to travel to exotic locations at my whim to do my bidding.
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Mad Dr. Jeffe doesn't realize that if you point out that people are being subservient, they are less likely to continue to be so.
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Archon thinks he knows what he's talking about.
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Jeffe has an odd definition of "exotic"
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osleon forgets that any place he can buy illegal cigars and sneak them over the border counts as exotic.
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Jeffe lies about locations and reasons to go there
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Osleon falls for it every time and still lets himself be convinced to pay the whole way.
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Jeffe confuses Loyal friendship with Naivety
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Osleon had to have me spell naïvety for him.
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And you spelled it wrong.
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actually I didnt.
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As I have always seen it, it is spelled naivete.
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yes, that is one of the two possible spellings for it. I merely added accent marks which makes it the correct french spelling. Since the word is of french origins that is an acceptable spelling, and in fact one of the 2 possible suggestions my websters dictionary offered.
So Archon is in fact wrong.
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Jeffe posts way too much. He joined a year after I did and bested my post-count in like, a week, or something.
Yeah, take that Jeffe!!!!!!!!!
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mr pleasington does not please me.
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Pleasington posts too little...
I find his diatribes fascinating and yet he hides...
he burns too like the bright face...
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mr pleasington does not please me.
:-[
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Pleasington posts too little...
I find his diatribes fascinating and yet he hides...
he burns too like the bright face...
I do post too little.
In fact, I may be the most surpassed active poster here.
I used to be like number 3 in the top 15 (look under the forum options and such). Then I wasn't. Just like that.
The arrival of SE and Jeffe had a lot to do with that.
For that, I declare them EXCOMMUNICATED!
Or something.
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Mr. P Lacks cowbell.
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JP lacks pants.
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Gopher likes JP better when he's not wearing pants.
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Spriggan is wrong. (Do you know, he threatened to come *camping* with no pants? In the -10 degree C ..heat....)
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I also threatned to let you share my tent :)
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Jam is a freak. WIthout a leash even.
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e is the sort opf person who would put a leash on his kids.
(we MUST exceed the compliment thread, we MUST exceed the compliment thread...)
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Gopher is the sort of person who doesn't understand that kids (and JamPaladins) need to be leashed for their own good (not to mention domestic tranquility)
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e fails to realise quite what a stunning piece of man I am without pants.
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oh, i know exactly how "stunning" that hideousness is. This is why you need a leash. And several layers of amorphous burlap to cover you.
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e still uses leashes in the age of proximity sensors and shock collars
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Oseleon is still confused why that EM pulse completely shut him down because he doesn't recognize the use of low-tech.
Plus he not only smells funny, but he drives funny.
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I bet e looks way funnier than his avi...
(Oh yeah, I went there)
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you think that avatar looks funny?
TFO wears his pants backwards. He puts socks on his hands and pretends they're his friends. Because they're the only friends he'll get.
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It's more than you have...
(Ownage)
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Awww! Snap, yo!
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Mr. Pleasington has a mullet. Or, er, his avatar has a mullet...or something. "Shut up, Richard!"
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Chimera seems to be mildly retarded.
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Archon has been lurking online all day waiting for me to post on this thread so he could insult me. I know, because he responded to my post in under a minute.
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Chimera has hair! Nobs on her! HAHAH!
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*I guess I was wrong
*Refers to my post on the compliments thread
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T.F.O. is, like, the dumbest acronyme ever!
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Mr Pleasington has an underscore in his name. I mean, liek, Duh.
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Master Gopher is an underscore hypocrite.
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At least I can be self-deprecating with pride ::)
Archon plays Halo.
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Master Gopher is no Sherlock Holmes.
Plus, he doesn't like Halo.
Count these amongst his sins.
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Mr Pleasington thinks I care that I'm not Sherlock Holmes. Naturally I do-well..I sort of...*sniffle* *bursts into tears* You see, it's like this...
Mr Pleasington is also under the illusion that it is actually possible to count all my sins in a lifetime.
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Master Gopher is going to burn in hell.
By the way, Gopher, I am the whip at Halo.
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Archon actually thinks he's good at Halo. He obviously hasn't played me.
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Mr. Pleasington is overconfident.
We are talking about the original Halo right?
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Anyone who plays Halo is sad.
Score!! *burns in hell*
The seventh level of Dante's Inferno, according to a quiz I did online 8)
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Gopher is so stupid that she doesn't know that burning in hell is going to be unpleasant for her.
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archon gopher and pleasington are so stupid that they're arguing about halo!
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Mr. Pleasington is overconfident.
We are talking about the original Halo right?
I was kinda hoping for the sequel. But either works.
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T. F. O. doesn't make himself clear.
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thats because I don't like scientology
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T. F. O. STILL doesn't make anything clear (where did scientology come in?)
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gopher is uninformed
(once scientology has brainwashed..er...destroyed all of your bad reactive mind also known as sense of reality, they say you are clear)
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TFO totally threw off my groove.
(You had no way of being aware of this, but I was trying to dominate the 'View the 10 Most Recent Posts' board. I *almost* had it--I checked and realized I only needed one more--until you posted on Actuaries, and then on here. Now I'd have to start all over, and I'm too tired for that. :P)
But I'll still let you live. I won't throw you out of the window of the palace or anything. ;)
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Chimera thinks she has...a palace??
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Gopher missed my reference to The Emperor's New Groove. What state is your popculture trivia in, young lady?
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Fairly bedraggled, I'm afraid. I've plenty of Sherlock Holmes trivia, Edwardian and medieval costumery references and Monty Python quotes though, does that count?
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I dubb you Slightly Knowledgeable in Popculture Trivia. Someday you may advance to As Smart As Parker--he is the popculture reference king.
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Chimera doesn't know who David Attenborough is, for heaven's sakes!! I don't know if you ahve the right to dub me anything.
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Hippie
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Otaku.
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JamPaladin.
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Jam Paladin (hey, once you get the best insult, there's no point in tryign to top it, just repeat it. OOO! Owned you both!)
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SE is a stupid, ignorant buffoon who is less than human. He has no taste in anything, he is an unsuccesful unaccomplished nerd and the world would be a better place if he weren't in it.
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Jam isn't funny when he gets irrationally upset.
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Se is a self-rightous windbag.
and so is jam...
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TFO thinks that "It's more than you have" is a decent insult. My great-aunt, who went to live life in a nunnery after being raised by buddhist monks under a vow of silence can insult better than that.
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I'm speechles... probably because you've used up all the oxygen in the room with your long winded mediocre attemps at being insulting.
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T.F.O.'s attempt at speaking English is pathetic.
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Archon isn't even old enough to drive the Batmobile.
And, if he is old enough (which I'm pretty sure he is), than he isn't mature enough. ;)
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Chimera's avatar looks like it was drawn by a 5 year-old.
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JadeKnight can't even make up his mind, since he both complimented and insulted the drawing of Chimera's avatar.
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Fuzzy isn't bright enough to figure out that it was beautiful irony at work.
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JadeKnight smells like Pooh. With an "H".
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JamPaladin likes Pooh. With an h.
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JadeKnight lacks the taste and culture to see the brilliance of Pooh, with an h.
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While e is well-versed in the taste of Pooh with an H.
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Jam thinks that one mroe iteration of that joke would be funny.
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e isnt many enough for a multi-letterd name.
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TFO isn't manly enough to spell right and/or make a comprehensible insult.
Plus, he's got this freaky mole with a hair growing out of it on his neck.
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e frequently confuses me with his mother.
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That's because you look so much like an old woman.
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Saint E is curmudgeonly.
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Say jadeknight, where'd you graduate from, the university of DUUHHH! *slaps chest*
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T.F.O.'s insults are lame.
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If that's the best JadeKnight can do I can only surmise that he is an intellectually moribund specimen of semi-evolved subhumanity with all the wit and panache of a decomposing toad.
Cheers ;)
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"What if someone calls a couple of pathetic peripatetics?"
"I've never heard of anyone bothering to rhyme insults before."
"But shouldn't we have a ready response?"
smiley is obviously unprepared for such an occassion.
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Saint E's insult doesn't seem terribly insulting.
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Wow Jade strong words........*underbreath*loser...... ;D
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Legion isn't.
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...whereas JadeKnight just can't, ever!
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and smiley just wishes he could.
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while e can!
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Was that supposed to be an insult?
Legion is confused.
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confusing like a fox......wait that makes no....what?!.......errrrrr
If all these voices we stop yelling I could hear myself think and come up with a good come back but till then
Jade smells bad
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Legion smells poorly.
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Legion doesn't realize that that particular insult loses both it's irony and it's punch when it's repeated like that.
Also, his momma so fat, California has ordered her not to visit, for fear that she'll set off an earthquake.
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while e's mother is so fat, the Blue Whale was no longer considered the largest animal.
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jam paladin is even uglier than his mother, and she could make an onion cry.
(I went there)
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"Freakin [sic] shuriken" is an awful, awful rhyme.
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people who think there are awful rhymes are awful themselves.
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e wants us to save the M-Machine, although frankly I think it looks like it ought to be put out of its misery. ;D
Euthanize the thing already! Then donate the money to me. ;)
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Anyone who thinks the M-Machine needs to be put out of its misery has neither sense, taste, or wit about them.
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I think e needs to be put out of its misery...
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Jam thinks "it's" is a possessive. Now I need to be put out of my misery.
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MsFish is making up lies with no evidence. She can't prove anything!
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JP can't admit when he's wrong, which makes him prideful and belligerent.
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I'm not wrong, which means MsFish is still accusing me with no proof. This means she is on the same moral level as George Bush.
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JP is judging my moral character based upon a single action without inquiring if I actually do have proof, which I might. Thus, JP is judgemental, closed minded, and quick to condemn.
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MsFish is complementing me instead of insulting me, meaning she is too thick to get the purpose of the thread.
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JP is misunderstanding my intent, which means that he is too dense and oblivious to understand what I'm saying.
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MsFish is supposed to be writing--the whole reason we came to the library together--not insulting JamPaladin, which, although fun, is not productive.
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Chimera is ruining my fun, which makes her a party pooper.
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I'm bored at work, meaning Chimera is ruining MY fun too. (This is the longest running discourse I've had with someone female in months.)
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JP is too blind to see who is above him and notice who he is to insult.
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(This is the longest running discourse I've had with someone female in months.)
'Nuf said.
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JP if you're really that bored get on AIM and talk to me. I'm bored.
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Chimera is a narcissistic drama queen.
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Archon is NICE!! Sickly, sweetingly NICE!!!
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JP if you're really that bored get on AIM and talk to me. I'm bored.
Not allowed. MsFish is supposed to be WRITING! Walk away, Jam. Just walk away.
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Chimera is a LIAR who is trying to deprive me of moral support for my writing. Talk to me!
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MsFish has a penchant to hit below the belt. That shows a degradation of her moral fiber.
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1) It says above, not directly above.
2) Yeah, you're right, enough said.
2) I can't walk away, I'm at work.
3) I don't have AIM at work, but I can use icq (113869095) or MSN messanger (paladinjammer at yahoo dot com dot au)
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Chimera is a narcissistic drama queen.
Archon is secretly in love with me. I'm not sure if that is an insult or not, and to whom.
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Chimera has Archon being secretly in love with her.
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Onion wishes he was secretly in love with someone instead of living his sad, sad life.
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e's so fat, that when he steps out of the house, the home team comes around him and stands in a big circle, then all the trumpeters start playing a trumpeting tune, and then the ugliest of ALL the home team starts singing, and the others follow him out of tune, and the song that he sings goes like this:
"Here Here, we are towards!
For the fat man cometh down from his throne!
A chicken wing here and a great big typewriter,
for we are the home team and we play the xylophone!"
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Jam thinks he's funny. But really. He's not. at all.
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Actually, I'm just making up for Gemm.
Of course, e is so fat, he makes up for Gemm AND the rest of the forum combined.
And he has a silly looking mustache.
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hey, just because YOUR facial hair looks like a blind retarded monkey attacked you with a monkey-poo laden razor doesn't mean the rest of us don't have enough testosterone to grow a full beard and mustache.
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What was that? Sorry, I wasn't listening, I was busy growing a beard.
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Jam can not differentiate a taunt from an insult.
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I smelt something that smells like Archon once. It was in the sewers.
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Jam looks an awful lot like an ocelot.
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e writes Star Trek fanfiction, with himself as the main character, and it's furry fanfiction, like Kirk is a Lemur or something.
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JP's so stupid he doesn't realize how smart he is.
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spriggan looks an awful lot like a kinkajoo
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e doesn't know how to get a working avatar
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and legion things that the street fighter guy in the default list is better than that.
ALso, he looks quite a bit like a marmoset.
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I do not know what you are smoking but your crazy.....my avatar looks nothing like a marmoset
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Legion needs to learn how to understand English.
Also, he looks an awful lot like an ungulate.
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e is monosyllabic
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Mr. P looks an awful lot like a pangolin
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All of you look like humans......stupid humans
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Legion really isn't many in one. He's just one. Totally.
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Mr_Pleasington can't even use an original insult, but instead has to steal one I already used.
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JadeKnight has the misfortune of being here when I decide to insult somebody. What a maroon.
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Fellfrosch looks an awful lot like a mollusk.
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e is "The Man"
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Mr. P isn't a man.
and he looks an awful lot like a yellow longicorn
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e would never be able to win at Settlers of Cataan.
Never!
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Mr. P LIES!
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E isn't very Christmas-e.
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For a Silent Knight, you sure don't know how to SHUT YOUR FACE!
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E is e-nvious.
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Silent Knight isn't very silent. As e said: he doesn't know how to SHUT HIS FACE
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RedAndGreenTree has a low quality Christmas name, LOW QUALITY!!!
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Christmas Light Eater is unorigonal! At least RedAndGreenTree didn't have to ask help to come up with his name! NOOB!
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I'd prefer an unoriginal one like mine if the alternative is one like yours, (no offense).
Actually, I need to remain on topic, so pretend I didn't say those last two words.
(wait a minute, for some reason, I only just realised that by posting here you make yourself a target... hmm...)
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Gee, NO WAY!
It's sort of like a one two punch. You hit someone and then someone else hits you.
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Red and Green Tree is a newbie.
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Fishletoe smells of fish.
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Christmas E gives you gas
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Jeffe doesn't realize that I give HIM gas, by osmosis, not anyone else.
Plus he's a goof.
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Christmas e gives people gas.
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Silent Knight revived this insulting thread, which makes him a big meanie.
(Man, even my insults suck. The next person can insult me about that. :P)
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Chimera's insults suck!
(bet you didn't see that coming)
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Christmas Light Eater is cynical and sarcastic!
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Red and Green can't even come up with original insults. He just copies e.
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Silent Knight has horrible observational skills. The worst. I mean, come on, I only copied e once! Once!
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Mr. Tree is so uncool his mamma makes him sneak in the back door so no one knows he lives there with her.
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e looks like this:
(http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c218/lightning_eater/BABY.jpg)
Yes, he has fooled you all, the one you thought was the real e was one of his ninja monkeys in disguise. His true form is what you get when you color a baby's eyes black on paint and inverse the colors!
uh, is posting images allowed?
am I going in the corner for this?
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e is an insensitive clot who has already been told many many times that my momma is dead. JERK
Light Eater is just weird. The bad kind of weird.
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R> can't figure out who's above him, so he just uses the shotgun approach.
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Silent Knight is so bad at insulting that his 'insults' sound like compliments to me. That is sad, so sad. You are sad Silen Knight. Would you like some food? you look like you haven't eaten in weeks.
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R> misspells the names of those he insults. This must reflect some sort of congenital deficiency.