I'm really sorry Jeffe.
Decluttering your house will help. It's good to do things even if you don't always feel like it.
I'll share with you my current studies in having a happier life. Try it out.
The cognitive approach is something that I've seen a lot of therapists and social workers adopt. At least in the area I live. It is based on the idea that you can adjust your mood with a little work. It starts with the underlying priniciple that feelings and emotions are not always truthful. Then it teaches youu to focus on positive feelings.
The simple approach is to start writing down negative thoughts. Any time you put yourself down or feel inadequate or just feel bad. Write it down in a statement.
Then look at that statement and figure out what about it that doesn't make sense. Cognitive theory states that negative thoughts are illogical and hurtful. duh. Usually there are ten typical logic problems (distortions) with negative statements.
- All or Nothing Thinking: If you fall short of perfect you are a total failure.
- Overgeneralization: Taking a single incident or event and makign it into a pattern of defeat.
- Mental Filtering: Dwelling on a single negative.
- Disqualifying the Positive: Saying that good things "don't count."
- Jumping to Conclusions: statements that read the minds of others or predict the future though there are no facts to support it.
- Maginification or Minimalization: Exaggerating the importance of something in a negative way or inappropriately diminishing the importance of something positive.
- Emotional Reasoning: Assuming that negative feelings are the "truth," or "reality."
- Should Statements: Statements that use should, ought, must, or similar wording that wallow in guilt, anger, or frustration.
- Labeling and Mislabeling: attaching and accepting negative labels about yourself or others.
- Personalization: Thinking that external events are the results of your own short comings.
So after you've identified the distortion, some statements contain several, then you can start to rethink the statement. It helps to write a statement that attacks the negative statement. Then write a statement that is positive to replace your negative statement.
This takes practice, but I find it helps. Also don't get caught up in trying to fix all of you negative thoughts at once. Just take a few a few at a time. It's okay also to write down a negative thought and give yourself some time before you attack and fix it.
So that's a suggestion. Hope it helps you feel better.
