Timewaster's Guide Archive
Local Authors => Writing Group => Topic started by: legacyblade on November 11, 2008, 06:08:59 AM
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Hello everyone. I'm Legacyblade. New to the forums, but I've been lurking for awhile. Anyways, I found these forums by link from both Writing Excuses and Brandon Sanderson's site, and decided it would be a good idea for me to join a writing community.
Anyways, I've been reworking the characters in my book, and decided to give my antagonist a bit of self doubt, to make him seem more human. A slight bit of backstory (tentative, as of now): He's the classic predestined hero, who saves the world from the dark lord. But he sees that the world is filled with corruption and evil, so he decides he's going to destroy it and make a perfect world. (*Mistborn:The Final Empire Spoiler*I know this sounds a lot like who we think The Lord Ruler is until we realize that The Lord Ruler killed the forordained hero, and took his power for himself. I hadn't read mistborn, so I didn't steal the idea, I promise :-\ ).
Anyways, without further rambling, here it is.
Countless dead. Countless innocents sacrificed for my vision of a paradise. I still see them, and hear their screams. I can’t let their deaths be for nothing. But I get the sinking feeling that I’ve become even more twisted than the evil I once delivered Celenath from. I can’t help but wonder, is this really worth it? Can my acts be redeemed because of the motive behind them?
I'm just wondering if you all think this sounds belivable, and if it'd make a good original (or at least non-cliche) villain. Comments/criticism are greatly appreciated!
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Wow... It's deep... What about just:
Countless dead. Countless innocents sacrificed for my vision of a paradise. I can’t help but wonder... is this really worth it?
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Short and sweet, with a lake of self-doubt and touch of loathing...
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Doubt could creep in when someone he loves is hurt or dies. What way to make an antagonist more sympathetic than make them more human by having people out there who love them? Makes the reader wonder "how is it this person loves this awful antagonist"? There's all sorts of potential there. Could be a friend, a sister, a father, a wife, a child who die for the cause and then he begins to question his own motives.
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@Avalon, Thanks, I'm glad you like it. And that's a good suggestion, I'll probably use it!
@ThankfulNess, Hrm, that's an interesting idea. I'd never thought of a particular event triggering his self doubt. That's a really good suggestion, thanks!