Timewaster's Guide Archive

Lets see, it would go like this:

Batman walks in the door.  "Holy cow!  It's Vader!"  Batman pulls out (insert weapon here).

Vader disarms Batman, much as he did Han Solo.

Storm troopers walk in.  Point blasters at Batman and Batman's friends.

Batman tries kung fu.

Vader force chokes Batman.  Storm troopers open fire.  Toasted semi-flying super hero for breakfast.

And who said Mr. Batman gets a chance to prepare?  Surprise attack = dead Bruce Wayne.  The Sith certainly are not above surprise attacks.

I like your newest version, but you might re-work the last sentence for grammar purposes.  It made my English degree hurt.

Yeah, well I give Batman enough credit to say he will distract Vader enough for a predator to do what they do.  Besides, Vader is asking for it

I'm not sure you're still looking for feedback on this, but lets just say a big "ditto" to all of the above praise.  The piece was really good and very captivating.  That being said, I'll try to find a few things that can be improved.

First, the size of the heartglass.  You said that your MC "pocketed" the piece, but you also said that it was larger than the size of his hand.  That's an awfully big piece of glass to be stuffing someplace.  Also, it's an awfully big piece to just sit inside someone (assuming human or even slightly human-like physiology, and since you said the guy had something like a digestive tract, it's a fairly safe assumption). 

Next, where is the lighting in your cave/mine system coming from?  I understood all of the events to happen underground, but there is light and it is not explained.  Show me the setting here.

Finally, the river.  Underground rivers, especially ones that flow quickly, are generally contained in walled off caves or near steep inclines.  The erosion does it.  I had a hard time seeing a small, narrow cave next to a river.  You need the river to dispose of the body, yes, but it seems like you took a normal river flowing through a forest and then transported it underground.  Fast flowing rivers underground behave very differently than fast flowing rivers above ground.

Anyway, all of the above is nit-picky.  The piece was great so bravo!

I just discovered that my middle-of-nowhere Texas town opened a used book store a few months back.  I celebrated a bit too early though.  The place was tiny and their fantasy section consisted of two very small shelves.  Still, I picked up  Writers of the Future Volumes XX through XXII.  I'll be doing some reading since I'm trying to crack that nut

I've been giving the fight some serious thought, and it occurred to me that after Vader and Batman duked it out, the Predator would show up minutes later and finish off the winner...

er... I said nothing about force choke.  That was Ryos.  About the only way I can see Batman winning is if he knocks out Vader's electrical systems, but in doing that, he'd kill Vader (and Batman doesn't do that). 

So lets look at this.  Batman can't (1) hit him with anything (e.g. blaster bolt blocking) or (2) sneak up on him in a fair fight (so he didn't sense Han coming at the first Death Star; Vader was concentrating on killing Luke, which, like you said, takes a 'lot of concentration'.  Unless Batman is saving Luke?).  That pretty much screws Batman if it's a mano a mano duel.

In sum, the only way Batman could win is if Vader was so distracted by something else that a two year old could sneak up on him and say 'boo'.  Granted, not impossible, but lets say that of the infinite scenarios where the two could be pitted against each other, Vader wins 99.9% of them.