I would like to play devils advocate for a while. So I will....
Girls are not expected to exert any effort toward getting married. Guys are always ragged on.
Women have to go on dates. Women have to find a man just like men need to find a woman. The only difference between our searches is that men usually ask the women out, which isn't always true anymore anyway.
Personally I've decided on something that I will use the next time I see someone I'm actually interesting in getting to know better for the purpose of mate selection evaluation: date splitting. I'll ask her out and provide for whatever it is I want to do on the date. But then if she wants to go out again, she has to be the one to ask. And she has to provide for everything on the second date. And if there is to be a third, then it's my turn. And so forth. Also, if any girl happens to ask me out (Society Forbid), then I will expect her to privide for it and be quite happy to return the favor for date #2. [I have yet to decide whether in this system 2 dates should be mandatory in all fairness.]
I find this system to be stupid. I am sorry, but that is my opinion. This is because you are complaining about being able to get a date and you are lowering your chances of having a second date. Imagine telling a girlfriend, "Okay, next time you pay, call me..."
And then something that would maybe be enough of a different problem that it would do for a separate thread, but--it sucks how it's impossible to tell if someone is even interested in looking to get married, or even if they are already seriously dating someone else. Now, in Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan books there's a very interesting system mentioned approximately twice that is used by the Betans--the very liberal planet--where girls will wear different kinds of earrings signifying their status: looking for something serious, looking for something casual, involved in a serious committed relationship, etc. No mention of whether guys wear earrings too (such would be only fair), but something like this would be a great improvement over our current absence of any signs beyond the engagement/wedding ring thing. I'm not suggesting that earrings would be the best way to do it but it's something that would make the answer quite obvious and it seems to me it would be quite effective.
Having a society-wide system of dating is riduculous to ask because there is no way it could ever happen. You would not be able to convince millions of people to dress a certain way or wear something just because you want other people to know what their status is. While the system itself seems like an idea that would work, using it for an entire society would not.
Argh. Here's really what I'd prefer: a national mandatory database of people who want to get married, where you say exactly what you're looking for, and a computer hooks you up. Lying punishable by stiff fines--but other than that it would be free. The church should run it.
Nothing national should be run by any church. As an athiest I would NEVER give any of my information to anything run by a church to help them with their religion, simply because I should not have to go out of my way, in any shape or form, to work for something that I not only don't believe in, but personally think is a ridiculous concept.
As Americans we should never have to date by a computer if we don't want to either. Even if it was not church run, ect., I would rather find someone I like personally than have a computer "hook me up". Having a
manditory database of Americans would make this something of the past, and make it become a system I wouldn't like, and don't even like to think about. If you want a computer to hook you up, go to a dating service.
Also, I wouldn't want my taxes pumped up for a system that I didn't plan on using. And I wouldn't want my taxes going to a church. So having an optional national database wouldn't work either. If you want to use a computer it looks like you will have to stick with dating services.