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Reading Excuses / Re: May 31 - recovering cynic - soldiers of the sun guard (new draft)
« on: June 01, 2010, 11:47:31 AM »
New draft sent
"Magic is what makes fantasy fantastic," someone says, "you can't apply rules to them or else it loses wonder!" I respond, "Sure, but if you want to write them you will certainly want to know how they work." Writing is all about execution, and I find applying some basic laws of physics to magic systems make them more understandable and realistic. Here, I'm going to outline my basic method for developing a magic system.
Column by Chaos2651
Discuss it in our forums.
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Second, I have a problem with the beginning. Usually, when you introduce a new character, you have a sort of mini-hook to get the reader interested (or detesting) that character. You can show off one of their skills, or put them in a dangerous situation, or something. You have her just sitting around, listening to some music and trading banter with the King. To me, this indicates a bit of a boring character, which makes me want to skim through her sections. Honestly, when I read the first sentence, I was hoping that somehow the music was going to be special (magic, or perhaps some eerie Twilight Zone stuff, or perhaps even a lonely person singing about their love that they'd lost and the MC was just hearing in). Instead it's just a performance. Sigh
Even here, far back into the tunnel where the sun that splashed against the walls of the entrance could not reach, the noise was overbearing.
Even here, far back into the tunnel where the sun that splashed against the walls of the entrance could not reach, the noise was overbearing.
Whether he heard the comment or not was unclear as he calmly went through his Restoration rituals.