Advice

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Dear Devotee

It would take...

Wait. Did you say fry sauce? I'm sorry, i can't finish answering now. That makes me ill.

-Dr. SÉ

(edited to fix the ascii character in the sig)

[Shrain]

Fry sauce is Ambrosia a la Utah. I don't know what your problem is. I mean, how can a god not like Ambrosia?

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Dear heretic:

perhaps because it's gross and grossly over rated?

-Dr. SÉ

(same as above)

[Shrain]

Hey, have you paid your membership dues to Frysauce Haters Annonymous?

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Dear Heretic:

Surely you can do better than that.

-Dr. SÉ

[42]

Dear SE,

I have a horrible disease that will kill me if I don't consume fry sauce regularly.

-X

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Dear Diseased One:

That is indeed a horrible disease. I'd recommend choosing death over fry sauce.

-Dr. SÉ

[Archon]

Dear Dr. SE,

As someone of your intellectual standing must already know, stupid people are all around us. Normally this isn't a problem, but I am out of bullets and grenades, my combat knife is beginning to dull, and they seem to multiply like the heads of a hydra. What would you suggest for this situation?

                                                                                                               Sincerely,

                                                                                                                             Surrounded

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Dear Surrounded,

I can certainly understand your predicament. It used to be mine until I built an ivory tower to live in.

The problem with killing stupid people is that they do multiply like a hydra's head. When you kill one, two more are born. Since there is a finite amount of intelligence to spread between them, when you kill a stupid person, you actually make all of the stupid people even MORE stupid.

I suggest you just tell them all to go sit in the corner of a round room. that generally keeps them busy for a while. If it doesn't, kill a few more then try again.

-Dr. SÉ

[Chimera]

Illustrious Dr. SE,

I have a pounding headache over my right temple. It feels like my brain is expanding and wants to get out, and thus keeps banging on the door every 2 seconds. This is very uncomfortable, and has me wishing to remove my brain entirely.

As I am not one of these stupid people previously mentioned, that would be a tragedy. Do you have any less invasive or violent solutions?

Sincerely,
Head banger

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Dear Swollen,

Neuro-swelling is a disabling and crippling disease that causes you to repeat yourself and reiterate many things frequently. It's not a laughing matter that you should joke about. Fortunately, we have the good luck that it can be treated if you access the right doctors correctly.

However, I don't htink that's what you have. After consulting the great Ray Davies, I'm convinced that there's a little green man in your head. Tearing you, gnawing you into two. Probably he just wants to take a walk and can't find the door. The solution is to either drug yourself up to cure your paranoia, or else to visit a medieval barbar and have him drill a hole in your skull to release the poor guy.

-Dr. SÉ

(yeah, I'm aware that almost none of you got it, but I used a lot of song lyrics in that second paragraph)

[Mad Dr Jeffe]

Dear Doctor SE,

Que es muy Macho?

[Aen Elderberry]

Dear Dr. SE,

Help!   I asked Archon to a question.  He lead me to a room and told me that if I sat in the corner I'd find the answer.  But I've been looking all day and can't find the corner.

Sincerely,

Befuddled

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

Dear Nacho,

¡Soy! ¡Soy muy macho!

-Dr. SÉ




Dear dazed and confused,

It's a cleverly designed trap! The nefarious Archon has led you to this conundrum in order to eliminate you as competition for the female robot he has come to love. The only way to stop him is to leard how to dance, outwit the bully, and take the girl you've been admiring from afar all through high school to prom! Quick! You've only got about 4 months till Prom!

Oh, and you need to find the corner first! keep looking! I'm sure you'll do it!

-Dr. SÉ