Timewaster's Guide Archive

I sent a PM to Silk, I think. I didn't get any response so I was just gonna let you know that I'm posting about 400-700 words of a story, on my blog every Tuesday. (I'm sorry, I didn't think to align it with your distribution day), just hoping to get some feedback from some people who like to write and read. I would like to be part of this group but I don't think I have time to read a chapter a week. Honest. If we don't have to hand in our feedback immediately I wouldn't mind being sent stuff.
Here is the link to my blog, the first bit of the story is posted on the home page so just scroll down.
http://www.brainpan.webs.com

Thanks,
          -Manny

I figured although no one is giving feedback, I did read a few so I will. I read a few dialogue exercises from page 5.

AndreaGS yours is great! Although it became a little confusing here and there, (it was the boy/girl name changes that got me) the concept of the blood that turns into fire is great and could be a good starting point for some seriously fresh world building. And if you are going for a medieval yet understandable sorta feel for your dialogue, cut the contractions.

Dhalagirl, yours is also very good too. In my mind I imagine it as a sort of Tron (even without all of the commercial reminders) techno-ized world. The storyline of obtaining all of these clues that you seem to be setting up would be good for a YA novel, because of the simplicity of it (it seems kinda like a video game info briefing). Although, I have no idea how you will be executing it, so I might be judging to quickly. The only thing was that the dialogue by itself was confusing due to the fact that we didn't know who had which nickname, at first.

Randomaximus, yours was good, especially for being new to writing.  I can see where the whole "I'll give the money away" ego is going and could be interesting. Two things though, it seems that you tried to show that these two guys are average American guys who talk like average Americans. But in dialogue the "dude"s and "man"s are a bit repetitive. Also, I don't know if you intended to explain the whole ghost concept, but in the dialogue it isn't clear. Also, good idea to jump on the MMA craze.

Snuren, yours is also funny and creative. Just like any dialogue, you can get lost between who is speaking, but the silliness of some parts made me forget that it mattered who was speaking.

I hope any of you writers out there will benefit from this- in a creative or motivational sense. And it was good fun reading other un-published writer's works. I'm glad there is a place where we can all promote each other in writing skills. I will definitely be posting more writing prompts from future posts and podcasts.
-Manny (http://www.brainpan.webs.com and http://www.cafepress.com/brainpanstore)