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The Horror

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The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers:
That's interesting, but requires some edits: How does the doctor know what Jones is thinking before the surgery, etc. I think though, with edits, that would be kinda cool

Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock:
Yeah... but a bit lot of work.

Lieutenant Kije:
Okay, in general, I think I could stand for a little more detail.  For example, the walk in the woods on the way (unknowingly) to the house.  This scene, which is brushed over, really, has the opportunity to set the tone, and flesh out "Jones" right at the very beginning.  Otherwise I just think of him as a walking letterman's jacket.  

I think you could spend more time on the doctor, too.  Have him say more and converse more with Jones.  Reveal his creepiness in this way, or with other quirky appearance or behavior details, instead of relying on the mad scientist stereotype.

It's unclear that Jones loses consciousness while being operated on, but you allude to it with the morphine and the waking up later.  Jones seems to spend a lot of time unconscious for being a protagonist.  Maybe give more detail when he's awake to balance it out.

And his first reaction to his new face: this is very important to this story, and I was uncomfortable with how you treated it.  "He was frightened beyond belief by seeing what had happened to him, but he did not cry out or start yelling."  What did he do?  I think you should describe the reaction a little bit more before you move on.

The ideas and plot are sound and interesting.  I think you could invest a little more in the characters you create to make it more engaging as a story.

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