This is all getting a bit too much for me on an early Friday night after a busy week, although it's probably somewhere midday for most of you. I'm going to keep this post short, but there's somethings I'd like to say anyway.
First of, Ookla, I've looked up the wikipedia article you're quoting, and you fail to quote
Some people have claimed that those who live together before marriage can report having less satisfying marriages and have a higher chance of separating. A possible explanation for this trend could be that people who cohabit prior to marriage did so because of apprehension towards commitment, and when, following marriage, marital problems arose (or, for that matter, before marriage, when relationship problems arose during the cohabitation arrangement), this apprehension was more likely to translate into an eventual separation. It should be noted this model cites antecedent apprehension concerning commitment as the cause of increased break ups and cohabitation only as an indicator of such apprehension. Another explanation is that those who choose not to cohabit prior to marriage are often more conservative in their religious views, a mindset that might prevent them from divorcing for religious reasons despite experiencing marital problems no less severe than those encountered by former cohabitants. In addition, the very act of living together may lead to attitudes that make happy marriages more difficult. The findings of one recent study, for example, suggest "there may be less motivation for cohabiting partners to develop their conflict resolution and support skills." (One important exception: cohabiting couples who are already planning to marry each other in the near future have just as good a chance at staying together as couples who don’t live together before marriage).[11]
I see here three possible explanations for the study, all three of which you fail to mention, instead giving your own one. Only the last of these three suggests something applying to your argument. Let's not forget that a relation does not imply causality.
Now, I think we'll find as much studies contradicting each other on this subject as we could find studies contradicting each other on say the influence of violence in video games (that's a joke, please, let's not go there
). On the other hand, you'll find as many contradicting tales of people being happy doing one or the other. I know I'm happy, and I don't regret I had sex with my previous girlfriend, nor do I regret having lived together with her. It was a marvelous time.
However, I'm having a marvelous time with my current girlfriend as well, and yes, I do hope to marry her some day.
I think we have to conclude that
a) there's people who wait with sex until marriage, are happy to do so and that's fine.
b) there's people who don't wait, are happy to do so, and that's fine as well.
What I'm trying to say is that we're all happy, and the one thing that would make others unhappy is forcing your way of life to them. I'm not saying anyone here does that, but I'm trying to say that neither side will ever be convinced of the other, so I really think further discussion is quite useless. It's going more in the direction of individual argument bashing anyway (of which I'm guilty as well). I think the only fruitful way to continue this is if we all listened with open mind and just gave our own opinions, trying to learn from each other instead of trying to convert. I do not think this is the place for that though.
I'd be happy to continue a discussion about sex and religion by PM or other means though, if anyone's genuinely interested.
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