There's some nice setting detail in the prologue. That electric lights are apparently such a rarity is telling.
Some of the words you use, such as "main chamber," "dining areas," and "sleeping quarters"--as opposed to say, "living room," "dining room," and "bedroom"--sound a little archaic (especially when there's also a "studio," which sounds more modern). Since the electronic lights are such a rarity I assume that you intended it this way, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Also worth mentioning is the fact that phrases like "dining areas" and "sleeping quarters" make it sound like you're talking about a very large building, when in fact you've already described it as an apartment.
I know that she's excited, but Lemila strikes me as, well, just a little bit of a ditz. I don't find her annoying thus far, so this isn't a criticism unless that's not what you intended.
Not much to say about the prologue. It looks fine to me. Can't say I see any reason NOT to keep it at this point; I assume it'll be relevant to something later on.
Why is the steward so surprised that Ian doesn't want to drink the wine, if it came with a death threat?
The steward's anger seems a bit sudden. It was one thing when he just thought Ian was kind of ridiculous, but all of the sudden that escalates into--apparently--an active dislike.
I'm very interested in the unveiling now that I know a little more about what's actually going on (now that they've started talking about Kinetic's art). There's just enough information here, (and this was a strength in the prologue too) that I get the sense that this has to do with magic as well as art. In that sense it's very well done. I would have liked this conversation to happen sooner, though. Before I felt only vague sense of curiousity about the unveiling, since I didn't know what it was. (I'd thought maybe this was a wine party or something, since there's an awful lot of it about.) Now that I have a slightly better idea I'm much more engaged.
I have a similar comment about the setting. It's much more clear and vivid now; I would have liked to see a bit more of that a couple pages ago. At first I thought that it was just Ian and the steward; then I realized that Ian had a couple of friends with him; then I realized they were at some sort of social event; and only at some point after that did I clue into the scope of it. So again, by this point the setting is fairly well-described, but I want to see more of it sooner. (The larger setting would also make the steward's anger above make a little more sense, I think. My initial assumption was that this was Ian's steward and therefore someone he knew well; the scene makes a little more sense now that I know the steward was some random guy who probably felt Ian was harassing him. In fact, the conversation about the poisoned wine makes much more sense as well).
Ian's speech seems to get more formal now that he's doing his Art Critic For The Masses act. Is that somethng he does when he's showing off? Nice detail, if so. The magic system is very cool and very vividly described; well done there. There's a creepy quality to it as well that I'm kind of hoping you'll capitalize on later, but for now...
There's some potentially interesting conflict between Ian and Kinetic in this scene as well. I say "potentially" because I don't think we know enough about your characters yet to get the full impact of this. What's the relationship between Ian and Becsi? Is she his friend, girlfriend, sister...? Knowing a bit more about her and the relationship between the two of them mioght help us undertand the gravity of the insult that he's been offered.
I feel the same way about the relationship between Ian and Kinetic, though to a lesser extent--I think that perhaps that is something we can wait for. (Actually, in retrospect, given Ian's earlier criticism of Kinetic's work, that might be the basis for this insult right there). Another thing that would be interesting to know more about would be Kinetic's position in the world at large. Is he dangerous, either personally or politically? Might this insult be larger than the two of them?
Again, I think that's something we can wait for; some hints might not go amiss but you definitely don't want to reveal all that at once. I'd like to just reiterate my earlier point about Becsi. In fact, knowing just a bit more about the relationship between him and Becsi might help us understand (by implication anyway) a little more about what Kinetic is after here.
One bright note that stood out was the fact that, despite the obvious sensuality, she is not there for a tryst. So the reader is in for a surprise twist but it isn’t so far out of left field that it causes a cynical response. Deftly handled.
Seconded.
Man, I was patting myself on the back about writing a short critique and I STILL managed to talk more than anybody else. Sigh.